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At last, Ubisoft has finally admitted that Blood Dragon is a thing and has released the downloadable game’s first official trailer. It’s enough to bring tears to the eyes of my long-lost, inner ‘80s child. The trailer encapsulates everything that made ‘80s TV programs and shoddy VHS recordings so wonderfully B-grade. A VHS, for those of you who are too young to remember Bionic Six, is what we old people used before DVDs became a thing. A DVD, for those of you who are too young to know which program Monica, Chandler and Joey belong to, is like a Blu-ray disc, only crappier.

What, you’re still here? You haven’t hit the jump to watch the trailer yet? That’s very polite of you. Here’s more information: you play as Sergeant Rex Colt, a Mark IV Cyber Commando. It’s up to you stop a horde of cyborg bad guys (and what looks like a cyborg T-rex towards the end of the trailer) from messing up the already messed up planet. The planet is messed up because it’s the year 2007 and “the apocalypse has had an apocalypse”.

Also, there are mutant cassowaries and some NSFW language in the trailer.

Ubisoft, I forgive you for everything: the DRM, that Assassin’s Creed III bollocks, everything. I love you again.

The game will be available for download on 01 May 2013.