Hold on, I know what you’re thinking – “But Tarryn, why are you writing about a board game on a video game website? Have you not had enough coffee yet this morning?” That’s a trick question, obviously, because there’s no such thing as enough coffee, but I’m also quite sure there’s a version of Monopoly for Wii so that conveniently covers the first part too.
Anyway, I’ve just discovered that after decades of terrorising Monopoly boards all over the Western Cape, I’ve been playing the game wrong. And you too. Playing the game wrong, I mean, not playing you wrong – unless you’ve played Monopoly with me, in which case I probably have played you wrong because I always cheat. But enough about that, let’s get to the point.
You know how Monopoly games drag on and on until everybody just dies of deep vein thrombosis? They’re not supposed to. Drag on and on, I mean, not die of deep vein thrombosis. Maybe I haven’t had enough coffee.
According to the official rules that nobody ever bothers to read:
BUYING PROPERTY… Whenever you land on an unowned property you may buy that property from the Bank at its printed price. You receive the Title Deed card showing ownership; place it face up in front of you. If you do not wish to buy the property, the Banker sells it at auction to the highest bidder. The buyer pays the Bank the amount of the bid in cash and receives the Title Deed card for that property. Any player, including the one who declined the option to buy it at the printed price, may bid. Bidding may start at any price.
Emphasis mine because THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I KNEW, and not just because this means more opportunities to cheat although that’s definitely part of it. As this article on Critical Miss explains, putting properties to auction not only speeds up the game significantly, but also introduces strategic trolling into the game by bluffing and tricking players into paying huge amounts of cash for properties they didn’t even want in the first place.
…There should really be a He-Man Monopoly.