Oh ho ho, Dark Souls II, I can see through your façade of reassurance. You’re trying to make out as if all the abhorrent deaths you have in store for us are somehow part of a  bigger picture; a means to some sort of enlightened end. Well, I don’t buy it – not even for a second. You’re a relentless destroyer of hopes and dreams, and you should be ashamed of yourself for masquerading as anything that might be misconstrued as “accessible” or character building.

Even your choice of trailer music is oddly inspiring: light piano lilts juxtaposed with grungey guitar riffs. It’s meant to make us want to go out and kick butt in the face of adversity. In a lot of ways, this trailer is like one of those creepy as hell angler fish that lurk in the darkest depths of our oceans: it’s dangling this reassuring, alluring light, but behind the light of lies sits rows and rows of razorblade teeth ready to rend your soul from your bones.

While some you may think I’m being a little melodramatic, you know deep down in your hearts that I’m right. This game does not want to be your friend. Hit the jump to take a look.