NAG Online > Opinions > Hot News This Week (That I Don’t Give A Toss About)

Hot News This Week (That I Don’t Give A Toss About)

sims 4

Every week here on NAG Online I write a This Week In Gaming round-up of news from throughout the week.

Every week I have to sift through a crapton of news that I couldn’t care less about. Sometimes, I have to report on news that I don’t really care about either – because apparently a lot of other people do.

So then, to blow off some of this pent-up frustration, this week I’m going to tell you about all the things that happened that I couldn’t give a toss about.

The Last of Us: Remastered

Now I will say I was mildly interested in this for a few minutes or so, but every site I’ve been to has about four articles apiece about this game.

It’s like The Lord of the Rings trilogy was just released with a new cover and everyone forgot they’d read the damn thing already.

I can understand the excitement when an old-school classic is released with a massive graphics update (we all know how I tend to soak my underbritches at the very mention of Black Mesa), but this is a “remastering” of a game that came out LAST YEAR.

To me this feels like the most hilariously obvious money-grab, but apparently I’m alone. I’m starting to feel like Will Smith stepped in and MiB-flashed the entire planet while I was sitting atop the porcelain throne.

Ohhh, look at those flames. There's, like, more pixels or shadows or something.

Ohhh, look at those flames. There’s, like, more pixels or shadows or something.

Anything Destiny

Snore. I may just be a bitter PC player, but I just genuinely don’t think very much of this game. It seems okay, but honestly to me it just looks like an amalgamation of things we’ve seen before. You can’t poop on my chocolate sundae and declare it a new flavour.

The game has been in beta for a while now, so really there is no longer anything about this game that should interest anyone. You’ve played it. Do you really need a leaked list of the mission names or want to know what some anonymous writer thinks is the best weapon?

And if I see one more video comparing the game on Xbox One and PS4, I’m going to sell all my worldly possessions, strip naked, buy a Wii U and retreat into the mountains to play Mario Kart.

"I will crush you on the Rainbow Road."

“I will crush you on the Rainbow Road.”

Cliff Bleszinski Opened A Pub

Seriously, I don’t really care about anything Bleszinski anymore. Is he retired, is he not retired, is he making games or just releasing random generic images, who really knows?

Nope, nope, now’s he’s a restaurateur. He’s put his game design skills to use in the kitchen too, sharing tricks of the trade such as “keep your customers happy” and “dirty bathroom means dirty kitchen”.

He’s like the Dalai Lama of pub food.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really have a problem with Cliff – he seems like a nice guy. But I just couldn’t give two tosses if he opened a restaurant; that seems like a mightily tenuous link to gaming.

We might as well report John Carmack’s hole-in-one at the golf club or Bobby Kotick’s next bowel movement. Just kidding we already cover the latter, it’s coming in November.

"Ohhh, ZING!"

“Ohhh, ZING!”

Any Video Game Movie

I get why people are interested in this, but I just don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear about The Last of Us movie with a has-been B-grade horror star and Arya Stark.

“But Sam Raimi’s a great director!” people who’ve never seen Spider-Man 3 exclaim loudly.

Anything to do with a video game movie is only going to end in disappointment. I’ve been burned too many times before, and until Hollywood actually manages to get one of these right, consider me out for now.

"When will the hurting stop? When?!"

“When will the hurting stop? When?!”

The Sims 4 System Requirements

Why do there need to be so many of these games? You get to walk people around a house doing mundane, routine things until you eventually cave in and set them all on fire.

Maybe that’s just how I played, but if I wasn’t murdering my neighbours at every opportunity, frankly I wasn’t having any fun. Still, how many iterations do we really need? They’ve already added sex to the game, do I really need the fourth (not fourth, by the way, probably the seventeenth) one so that I can get three new kinds of washer/dryer and unlock the ability to pee in the garden?

Spoiler: the game runs on a potato. You’ll need a hard drive, a screen and the innards of a calculator and you’re all set to play out your various homicidal fantasies.

  • FanieNel

    “But Sam Raimi’s a great director!” people who’ve never seen Spider-Man 3 exclaim loudly. – So wrong, he is a awesome director and did a fantastic job with Spiderman. The new Amazing Spiderman movies are just awful. I want more of the previous Spiderman.

    Also, The Last of Us movie is a Sony studio project. They will not make/release something that doesn’t live up to their high standards. I still have hope that it will become a huge success.

    • BinaryMind

      Agreed. No need for new Spiderman movies so soon.

      • FanieNel

        Before the new Spiderman 2 was released, the studio gave release dates for the next three movies. When they saw that it didn’t go as well as they hoped, they withdrew the release dates.
        Spiderman has turned into a drama rather than a good action comedy movie. They tried to change too much and it hit them badly.

        • BinaryMind

          Moral: don’t fix what ain’t broke!

    • Viking Of Science

      High Standards? Sony Pictures made Paul Blart: Mall Cop….

      And the only reason they made Amazing Spiderman, is to hold onto the rights, They were going to expire, and they Really want a superhero franchise.

    • Randall Rex

      FanieNel, your opinion isn’t wrong, it’s just shit.

      • FanieNel

        I agree that the two new releases of Spiderman is s%!t.
        Please mind the language.

    • Gareth

      Agreed, new amazing spider man movies are pretty bad…

      Toby as Spiderman…well that was a movie to watch which felt a bit more believable

    • http://www.nag.co.za Chris Kemp

      Not that I’m a huge fan of the new ones, but I really thought that third one was oh so very bad. First two were okay. To be honest I thought his latest effort “Oz the Great and Powerful” was trash as well. But, it’s hard to be objective when it comes to films :)

  • Delano

    I work in computer repair and I can tell you that The Sims is absurdly popular. So many PCs have some iteration of the game installed, along with one of the endless expansions. My friends and I used to joke that game stores need a separate aisle just for Sims expansions. Like it or hate it, the Sims franchise is a juggernaut in the industry and the masses are always keen on more.

    I’m keen on seeing what Cliffyb has in mind for a new game, but, like John Romero before him, he’s being treated like a rock star celebrity. I’m just interested in gamings, not the lifestyles of rich game devs.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wesley-Fick/184346154999538 Wesley Fick

      And The Sims will generally be installed on just about every computer you can think of, even machines that aren’t fully compatible with DirectX 9c. And the textures look godawful on those.

      • http://www.nag.co.za Chris Kemp

        It really does run on anything, doesn’t it?

    • Miklós Szecsei

      Not to mention that a The Sims: Expansion XYZ sits on the SA PC sales charts pretty much EVERY MONTH since forever.

      Also: I love The Sims.

      >.>
      <.<

      • http://www.nag.co.za Chris Kemp

        It took courage to admit that, Miklos. Unfortunately my desire to mock you is overwhelming my sense of admiration :P

        • Miklós Szecsei

          I respect that.

      • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wesley-Fick/184346154999538 Wesley Fick

        The games also last for ages thanks to the mods, some of which are unbelievably detailed.

    • Aidan van der Nest

      Agreed, but mostly they’re installed for the user’s children. They release Stuff Packs to keep the same people coming back, and they release new versions or expansions to appease the latest generation of tweens. These games aren’t aimed at people like us anymore. We’ve grown up and out of their target market, and it’s for this reason that it no longer interests us, but there will always be new 10 year olds interested in the latest Sims…

      • Charlotta

        Look, you are allowed to dislike Sims, but do understand that it is not just for tweens and kids. If you feel like it, try searching tumblr for Sims blogs (simblrs) and realise that those people posting are adults. 20 – 28 year olds on average.

        If you seriously want to blow your whole “10 year old” theory, try google “sims smut”. Have fun!

        • Aidan van der Nest

          Understood, but notice the word “mostly”. I didn’t say it only applies to tweens, but their target market definitely isn’t 30-yr-old CoD players. I just mean they design their games for a younger audience and that audience will always be present and always regenerate itself. That’s why they need to improve the gameplay elements and graphics every couple of years and release a new version. Me? I’m perfectly content to continue playing The Sims 1, which I bought all those years ago. I don’t have any reason to upgrade to a newer iteration of the same game. It’s still fun whether you play the old or new, but they’re not making these games to keep me, or gamers like me, happy anymore. Their focus will always be the people they first started making these games for. Sure other people will enjoy them too. The point of my post was to highlight that my generation is not the be-all and end-all of the Sims, so we need to realise we ourselves are changing, and they’re not trying to keep the old coming back, they’re trying to get new interest by introducing something for the newcomers…

    • http://www.nag.co.za Chris Kemp

      I think the kind of people who bring their computer into a repair store whenever they get a virus are the same kind of people who play the Sims :P

  • Gareth

    I played sims 2 quite a bit and ended up getting bored of the game quickly and never playing it ever again.

    4 years later I actually feel like they have made a game which has changed in some way from there last release.

    • http://www.nag.co.za Chris Kemp

      Just tell me the truth – you murdered all of them before uninstalling, didn’t you.

  • Smuroh

    Wat i don’t get is what is the point of a game that is remastered? If its that good that it needs to be “remastered” does it mean that it wasn’t really good to begin with?

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