Porn-stats-LOL

Look, I can’t think of an elegant way to introduce this “news” piece, so I’ll just state things as plainly as possible. Pornhub – otherwise known as “the largest pornography site on the Internet”, and given that the Internet is at least 75% pornography, surely that must make it the most popular site in the universe – has released its annual flurry of user statistics. Among those statistics is a breakdown of which video game console’s owners gravitated towards the site the most in 2015.

Intrigued to learn who’s in the lead? Of course you are.

And the “winner” is… PlayStation! I’m assuming the tally includes both PS3 and PS4 users, because the stats don’t specify. PlayStation pulled ahead and snatched the coveted title away from Xbox, which was last year’s most porn-y console. Xbox users are seemingly spending far less time Pornhubbing their days away and more time actually playing games, with users of Microsoft’s consoles recording the highest percentage drop.

Want a handy pie chart so you can see for yourself? You’ve got it!

Pornhub-console-winners

As you can see, Nintendo owners spent the least amount of time on the site. Frankly, I’m surprised that Nintendo’s 3DS features at all, because of all the uses I can think of for Ninty’s handheld, watching porn is the last thing I’d expect people to do with it. Then again, maybe I’m just naive. Do the dual screens make things more… interesting somehow? I hope so.

It’s not just the 3DS thing that’s got me thinking either. Is the PlayStation statistic being driven skywards by the fact that Sony is selling so many of the things? And could these statistics be a bizarre indicator of the direction the Xbox One is headed? After all, Microsoft is being strangely quiet about sales of the Xbox One, and it’s making people nervous. Then again, maybe it’s got nothing to do with sales at all. Maybe it’s got more to do with something Miklós just pointed out to me: “Nobody wants to masturbate with a Kinect that MAY OR MAY NOT BE transmitting EVERYTHING to MS central. :P”

Also, I wonder how these stats would look if PC gamers were included in the tally?

One thing’s for certain: I’d hate to be the person who, out of curiosity after reading this, grabs a black light and heads into the family living room. Yeesh.