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I’m a couple of days late with this news. I’M SORRY, but I’ve only just learnt of Dangerous Golf‘s existence, and I feel a strong desire to tell you about it.

To be clear, I’m not at all a fan of golf (or of sport in general really, unless you count Rocket League). Like, not in the slightest. It’s not that I hate it or anything. I just don’t “get” it. My father and youngest brother are all golf, all day, but the only thing golf does for me is make me feel sad. Incredibly, incredibly sad. Probably because they hardly ever stop talking about it. Dangerous Golf is different though. This doesn’t make me feel sad. This I could get behind.

Three Fields Entertainment is a development studio founded by the co-founders of Criterion Games, creators of the Burnout franchise of crashing-into-stuff-with-big-metal-things games. Three Fields Entertainment also holds within its ranks a bunch of other humans who previously worked on games like BurnoutNeed for SpeedBlack and more. So it makes total sense that their first game is one in which you’re free to destroy expensive scenery in highly creative ways. Except there’s golf in it too.

“Smash a priceless chandelier, set fire to a gas station and destroy a kitchen full of china — this isn’t your average golf game,” says the website. “It’s as serious a golf game as Burnout was a serious simulation to driving games. We wanted to mix the attitude of Burnout with the destruction of Black whilst setting the golf ball on fire.”

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There’s nothing I don’t love about that description. The action is said to take place across 100 different holes in four “unexpected” locations. Those locations include a rural petrol station and a hotel kitchen, with a mix of indoor and outdoor environments. Expect to see online and offline turn-based multiplayer in there. Here’s some more words from the site:

“In Dangerous Golf, players aren’t striving for Par or aiming for Birdie — they’re playing for dollar damage as their high score. As they progress throughout the game, players will not only be awarded points for trick shots and ricochet techniques, but they’ll also get rewarded for destroying stuff by turning their golf ball into a bomb and setting off their SmashBreaker. Destructive powers increase as the ball heats up, ensuring that the most elaborate shots are not only the most rewarded, but the most impressive to watch.”

It sounds wonderfully chaotic, and the team is making use of some cool tech to bring the game’s destructive physics simulation to life, complete with “physically simulated liquids”, which sounds equal parts impressive and gross.

Count me in. I can already picture the surprised expressions on the faces of my dad and brother when I actually have something to add to their golf talk-a-thons. Especially when what I’m adding is explosions and broken toilets. The game’s due out for digital download this May on Steam, PSN and Xbox LIVE.

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