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Okay, so my most sordid confession (for today) is that I haven’t played Dark Souls 3. That’s not the whole truth, though – just between us, I can’t play Dark Souls 3. I can’t play any of the Dark Souls games because I have the patience, fortitude, and indomitable determination of a mouldy towel. When the proverbial going gets tough, I… uh, I get out.

Not so much this guy, though, who not only played Dark Souls 3, but also managed to kill Pontiff Sulyvahn – apparently one of the game’s notoriously even-harder-than-hard bosses – with one hit. In New Game Plus mode, no less. I don’t even.

YouTuber neptunusequester proves that he’s better at games than everybody else, ever, with this absurd display of consummate efficiency. BEHOLD.

According to Reddit user HolidayForHire‘s analysis, there’s, like, a lot going on here.

From what we can see – red tear stone ring (20%) followed by dragon torso, sunlight Sword buff (11.5%), then deep protection (5%) and then weapon art Warcry from Yohrm’s Great Machete (not sure the %, but this isn’t sharpen, since that’s on the normal machete, and removes previously applied buffs) and then reactivates dragon torso (10%). Finally after the Parry he switches on Morion blade for another Low HP boost (20%).

From what we can’t see but surely deduce he is also wearing the Hornet Ring (30%), and probably has Yohrm’s upgraded fully.

I am fairly certain everything adds up multiplicatively, which puts him at 241% damage, plus whatever he’s getting from the weapon art.

There’s another two ring slots I’m not accounting for as well, so he could easily be up around 300% normal damage, which makes this the equivalent of parrying and riposting the boss 3 times in one.

Add in some coffee and biscuits, and that’s kind of how I get ready for work in the morning. Maybe I should be playing Dark Souls 3.

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