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Those poor, poor cheaters just can’t get a break. Last week Blizzard banished thousands of Overwatch cheaters to the forever-and-ever-corner, and now Ubisoft is doing the same thing with cheaters in The Division – even if it’s a first offence. Oh, but it wasn’t me, it was my baby brother. It was my pet iguana. It was my dead granny’s ex-husband’s former colleague’s exotic moss collection. It doesn’t matter. Strike one, you’re out. Don’t let the door hit you as you glitch out.

The company has recently taken action against 30,000 accounts for, uh, questionable play, including almost 4000 permanent bans. But it’s not enough.

“Following this campaign of suspensions and bans, it also became clear that while huge progress has been made in terms of cheat detection, our 14 days suspension on first offense policy has not been dissuasive enough,” the team announced in an update on the game’s website. “Judging from your feedback, and based on what we witnessed when cheaters came back to the game, we have now decided to push our policy one step further: we will now start applying permanent bans on first offense when players are caught using cheat engines and we will communicate clearly when new ban waves are taking place.”

BUT-BUT-BUT, how do they know? What if a totally innocent, pinky-promise, player gets banned? You know, asking for a friend.

“While some of the game decisions are made client-side, there are constant server checks in place,” the update also explains. “This ensures that even in the situation where a player would be able to modify his client data, the servers can detect it. The array of these checks has constantly improved since the launch of the game which allowed us to catch a great amount of cheaters. Of course, this doesn’t mean that cheating is a thing of the past and we stand ready to react quickly, should new cheats be developed.”

Cheating. Not even once, kids.