hadean lands

First, the DLC costs even more than the actual game, Hadean Lands. Next, the DLC is just a certificate promising that you’ll finish the game without looking at a guide or a walkthrough. “That’s all! You print out the certificate, sign it, and hang it on the wall,” reads the description on Steam. “This is strictly on the honor system. The DLC does not change the behavior of the game at all.”

Um.

Hadean Lands is an old school text adventure game about “alchemy and exploration”, where you must solve your way off an alien world. According to user reviews, it’s also very, very, very hard, and doesn’t include any sort of built-in hint system. You’ve got to work it out on your own. Or, like, with help, but that’s cheating. You kids today with your dialups and Youtubes. In my day, we’d get stuck on a stupid gnome’s name for ten years.

The DLC is obviously kind of a joke – the FAQ includes this wry bit:

  • I don’t need to buy your silly certificate! I can just make that promise for free!
  • Absolutely. But… it might be easier to stick to that promise once you’ve laid down some cash on it. Just a thought. It’s up to you.

It’s an expensive promise and a questionably absurd sell but if somebody wants to buy it, hey, whatever. The developer at Zarfhome Software need food and toilet paper too.

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