Former wrestler and football player of no special renown Lenwood “Hard Rock” Hamilton is suing Epic or Microsoft (it’s not exactly clear in TMZ’s report, because, you know, it’s TMZ) and voice actor – and erstwhile acquaintance – Lester Speight, alleging that the Gears of War character Augustus “Cole Train” Cole is, basically, him. Woo, baby. Bring it on sucker! This my kind of you know what.

According to TMZ, Hamilton was recently introduced to the series by his son’s friend, and is now convinced that the developers “somehow imitated his voice and implanted it” into the game. He apparently also consulted with a forensic voice examiner who determined that their voices are “indistinguishable”. Um. Okay. You decide.

Exhibit A, Lenwood Hamilton.

Exhibit B, Cole Train. (NSFWish!)

And Exhibit C, Cole Train voice actor Lester Speight.

The lawsuit documents assert that the two are almost identical because “they both wear derby hats, wrist bands and have a front gold tooth”.

That’s not even a derby hat.

Hamilton is suing for franchise “sales and profits”, but I expect the whole thing will get dumped faster than you can say that the persons and events depicted in this game are fictional, and any resemblance to actual events or persons living or deceased is purely coincidental.

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