Not this one, obviously. I mean, they’re not even using controllers for the same console, and there are no chips. And is it just me, or does it look like they’re having a super passive-aggressive argument?

“Hahaha. I’m leaving you, Brad.”

“Shut up, Kelly. I don’t even care. I never loved you, anyway.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Your mom‘s the worst.”

With Valentine’s Day coming up tomorrow, now’s the time to start planning the best ever date night. Pizza? Check. Booze? Check. Another year on your own? DOUBLE PIZZA AND BOOZE FOR YOU!

But what about the games?

I’ll go first.

We start nice and easy with Super Mega Baseball. I got it as one of those Xbox Live Games with Gold freebies sometime last year, and it’s super mega rad. Also, all that “third base” and “home run” and “foul ball” stuff is like sexy, subtle innuendo, so that’s hot. Okay, maybe not the “foul ball”.

Next, we move up to Gears of War 3. I met my husband playing this game, so it’s got that seductive nostalgia factor, plus chainsaws and gratuitous gibs as a metaphorical vindication of our decision to not have kids. Seriously, getting pregnant and having a baby is gross. Play safe, everybody.

Finally, some Halo Wars 2. Because nothing says “I love you” like interstellar war, and also because my review is due on, like, Friday.

Your turn!

 

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