One thing is certain, though, and it’s that the person responsible for the absurd petition to cancel Far Cry 5 is either a very committed troll or exceedingly boring and stupid, or probably some combination of both. In a badly spelled update that claims “great success” despite other claims that petition host Change.org “decided to attempt to censor” it (more ambiguous irony?), Gamers United also vehemently denies a list of mostly non-existent claims that it’s actually “some random SJW journo”, an Ubisoft employee, and a member of White House staff. The phrase “Make All Games American an [sic] Great Again” is used. Bring popcorn.

With only 1600 or so “supporters”, most of whom are making fun of it, the petition isn’t exactly the extraordinary accomplishment Gamers United alleges, whatever its real purpose. And I still can’t decide whether or not the petition is an elaborate joke, but even if it is, it’s a lame-o one. Proper satire is more sophisticated than a copy-pasted Gamergate manifesto and ostentatious racism “for the lolz”. And if it’s not a joke, it’s not even outrageous, it’s just embarrassing. This thing is an incoherent mess that can’t even work out its own ideology, demanding more diversity in a game that’s apparently also too “politically correct” at the same time. Like, what?

In the interests of wasting everybody’s time, however, here’s the complete update:

Game’s out on 27 February 2018, because the petition doesn’t matter anyway.