The Oscar buzz has to be throbbing off the hook, because there’s a new game-to-movie tie-in happening next year. There’s no text formatting shortcut for sarcasm. There really should be [actually, it’s just that we can’t decide which one to use – Ed]. Nevertheless, Hollywood has thought it a sterling idea to bring Lara Croft to life on the big screen once again. It looks like a big budget game intro video. But it’s a movie.

Anyway, now we have this sinewy Swede (Alicia Vikander) thrashing around across some suitably exotic locations, flailing through all manner of Michael Bay-esque action scenes, seemingly doing her damnedest to be the Lara Croft that we want her to be. There are explosions, lost artifacts, quirky – yet “impactful” – lines of dialogue, pretty much all a Tomb Raider fan could possibly wish for.

Excuse my apathy. See, I was a fully functioning teenager by the time the Super Mario Bros. movie came out in 1993, and I’ve learned to temper my enthusiasm.

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