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While I never keep up with gaming news, the guys at my favourite game shop consider it their duty to expose me to interesting-looking trailers whenever I walk in to make a purchase. It was during one of these visits that I saw the first trailer for Remember Me. I had no idea what to make of it, but it looked pretty good. But is it?

Remember Me takes place in the not-too-distant future, where a large corporation called Memorize has figured out how to copy, delete and transfer human memories like computer data. There are all kinds of services they offer using this technology, like erasing painful memories, or even giving you the memories of someone else. Like, say you’re a serious gaming nerd and you know you’ll never get laid, you can pay for the memories of a suave ladies’ man and at least remember what it is was actually like – just think for a second how weird that concept is. That’s not an obvious joke either: if you wander around the game taking in the ambience and details, you’ll see characters doing this exact kind of thing at memory vending machines.

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Sony PS4 with controller

If you somehow slept through the last couple of days, Sony and Microsoft had their big pre-E3 press conferences. While the Wii U watched from the stands, Sony and Microsoft went head to head in the next-gen ring for console superiority.

Sony left with a trophy, and Microsoft, well, they didn’t leave at all. I think Sony might have killed them.

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There’s something about modern shooters I’ve always found a bit strange. After the initial amazement and novelty of being able to reload our own guns with the press of a button in Half-Life, I noticed a bizarre habit developing in some players, myself not least of all.

Some shooter fans seem more compelled to hit the reload button than the fire button. Seriously – I’ve seen some players shooting two or three rounds, getting a headshot, reloading, getting another head/upper-torso kill, reload, another kill, reload… But think about that for a moment: say you’ve got a 30-round clip – you’ve just fired three rounds and tossed the remaining 27 over your shoulder. Yes, I know that somehow the discarded, un-fired 27 rounds magically find their way into the pool of ammo you have available, but… what? Do modern shooter protagonists each have a leashed gimp following them around, consolidating all the un-fired rounds into fresh, brimming clips? In reality, you’d have just thrown 27 rounds on the floor.

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story round the fire

Gather round the fire, children, I’ve got a few tales to share and the night is growing dark and cold. I may be a simple-minded old man, but I have wasted many years playing video games and devouring the internet. Throughout these years I’ve collected the most unlikely legends, unbelievable anecdotes and surprising stories.

So come in close and listen carefully, as I spin a yarn of accidental boob jobs, origin stories and real-life supervillains.

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If you take Skyroads, add a dash of Tron, mix in a smidgen of Sonic All-Stars Racing Transformed and top it off with a bit of F-Zero, what are you likely to get? A lovable abomination that will exhibit more than a passing resemblance to Nitronic Rush, probably.

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The Xbox One reveal was kind of a disaster. Most people who watched the livestream or just read the salient points in the news afterwards were left feeling confused, underwhelmed and essentially disappointed.

One of the most highly anticipated gaming consoles of the last five years shoehorned games into their reveal like some kind of afterthought. Spectators were treated to boring, long-winded discussions about streaming video and voice-controlled browsing, and I think most of the audience was simply wondering, “This is cool and all, but where the hell are the games?”

It got me thinking though on marketing in this industry in general, and just how awful it generally is. These companies just seem so out of touch with their target market, and some of the decisions made are baffling. Stupid mistakes are made consistently, such as:

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Universal truth: you can never have too much XCOM/X-COM, no matter the guise in which it appears. That’s why we’ve coated our cover in juicy XCOM goodness with the third-person tactical action of The Bureau: XCOM Declassified. It’s a shooter! But it’s also thoughtful. It also happens to make for a brilliantly eye-catching magazine cover. We flew across the seas in a rickety aircraft held together by old bits of moldy chewing gum (but not really) for a look at the game. And then we flew back home to feed you bags of delicious XCOM information.

There’s more in there too! You know what to do for a sneak peek.

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It’s widely acknowledged that space is a bit of a bitch, and that if the meteorites and overwhelming radiation don’t get you, the tentacular terror beasts of Epsilon V will.

They’re all wrong. It’s the accountants that’ll get you.

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xbox one header

If you’ve only just arrived from an alternate reality or an alien planet or something, last night Microsoft yanked the Shroud of Rumours, Speculation, and Totally Made-Up Stuff +5 from its next-gen console, the Xbox One, and showed it off to the world for the very first time. Not that it’s put a stop to the rumours, speculation, and totally made-up stuff, so for your convenience, I’ve cross-checked all the important information once, twice, and three hundred times to make sure everything here is absolutely 100% guaranteed accurate and true-fact, or at least until it’s not. I mean, the bombs could drop tomorrow and we’d all be forced into underground bunkers forever.

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pikachu

I’m all about equality, political correctness and empowerment here at NAG Online, so I thought it would be a little unfair to shine a big spotlight on the best video game villains and forget their counterparts, the heroes.

To recap, in case you missed last week (for which you better have a damned good excuse), I took a look at five of the most badass villains in video game history (or rather, the five my feeble mind could most easily produce).

Thus, to maintain my high standards of equal opportunity, this week I’ll be looking at five of my favourite heroes that I used to kick the snot out of those other guys.

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