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Welcome to the NAG Online Podcast! This is our first rAge Expo edition, which we didn’t record at the expo but the week after, on Wednesday evening. If you’d like to listen in live to Chris’ ranting about pidgeons not being sexy or fowl-minded, or Rick laughing about how evil he is, or Delano introducing us to new games in his extremely large Steam library (not a euphemism) that we’ve never played before or Matthew talking about mallets being handed to politicians, you can follow these instructions on the NAG Forum thread about listening live to our podcast. Once rAge fever finally subsides, we’ll have this up on Thursday morning instead of Friday. Thankfully we no longer have audio sync issues, so that helps!

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gifted birds

I’m writing this column now, while the rage is still fresh. You see, I just “finished” Hatoful Boyfriend. But let me give you some backstory first, let me explain how I ended up in this existential nightmare.

It all began on Wednesday the 1st of October, on the NAG Online podcast. Rick de Klerk, known sadist and underwear enthusiast decided to issue me a challenge. Naturally, I assumed he was going to make me play some hilariously bad game or other such witty, light-hearted shenanigans.. But I was wrong. So so very wrong.

De Klerk locked my gaze with his cold, dead eyes and said, “Chris. I want you to f**k a pigeon.”

And now here I stand. A broken, defeated man with tears in my eyes and feathers in my crotch. What follows is the story of how I got to this point, but I must warn you – it doesn’t make for pleasant reading.

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Damn, rAge 2014 is over. It was one hell of a roller-coaster and definitely the gaming highlight of my year. I played a lot of great games, but as I sit bathed in the glow of my PC screen I realise that I didn’t play everything. Here’s a list of what escaped me, because I like lists.

rAge

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excited kid

Last year around this time, I wrote a column on tips for rAge, which was odd since I’d never been. Still, much of it held up in practise, and now I get to walk into the expo this year knowing more of what to expect.

So then, for this year’s rAge-themed column I’m simply going to talk about the five things I’m most excited about doing.

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In this eleventh episode of the NAG Online Podcast, we have a chat about some of the early rAge 2014 coverage we’ve put out, as well as discussing breast controllers, why Chris thinks Ripley’s daughter sucks as an Alien survivor, why Rick eventually came to love Tropico 3 and all the juicy, juicy details about Windows 10, Microsoft’s love letter to the people still on Windows 7. Join us for an hour and a half of fun!

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tropicochallenge_avatar

When Wesley dictated that Rickismo Afrikanus be the most beneficent dictator he could possibly be in Tropico 3 (a management sim in which you play the bumbling dictator of a tropical paradise), he thought he was giving him a challenge. He thought that Rickismo – author, velvet revolutionary, multi-award winning Noble (sic) Laureate* and the people’s greatest but most humble servant — could not possibly achieve peaceful rule of the like not experienced since the Renaissance.

But there are two things you must know about Rickismo: he refers to himself in third-person — always — and that whilst his humility is second to none, it’s an undeniable fact that he single-handedly thwarted eighteen increasingly convoluted assassination attempts (the last involving a silky llama, a whip, and a promising cabaret invitation).

Rickismo is no stranger to adversity: indeed, he welcomes it as a common-but-no-less-valuable Tropican may welcome air to breathe, or decent living wages, or rights. And while the challenges were great, he succeeded where lesser men and women would have failed, thanks in minor part to his peoples’ tireless efforts but largely due to his eleemosynary [I've just Googled this word, and it is not at all what I was expecting. Make of that what you will. – Ed.] gaze.

What follows is Rickismo’s extensive, detailed and objective account of his leadership, insights, wisdom and fiscal acuity, as documented by that most competent and impartial biographer: himself.

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trainwreck

Everybody has an off day. You know how it is – you wake up, and somehow things just feel dreary. You can scarcely find the motivation to brush your teeth, let alone be productive.

Not every man is willing to admit that. I am not every man; that would be impossible. Anyway, what I’m getting at here is that yesterday was my off-day. It was also the day I wrote this column. So I’m warning you now – it’s not very good. I couldn’t even be bothered to form a coherent theme, instead I just elected to rant/ramble about five, completely unrelated things.

Even the header image makes no sense. I just used a Gordon Freeman picture there brcause I like it. There is no Half-Life related content in here. Leave now to avoid disappointment.

Hit the jump if you like, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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It’s our tenth episode! YAY! It’s been ten weeks since we started the NAG Online podcast and although we have some clue as to how it’s doing, we’re going to keep at this until we do it right. This episode was plagued by more audio drift issues and to solve that I contacted the developers of Mumble to hammer a fix out with them. I’m now on a developer-only version of Mumble that carries some fixes for the audio drift issue and I hope this will remedy any issues I have in future. More testing will follow before our next episode of the podcast goes up, but for now have a listen to episode 10.

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I’d like to preface this Podcast Challenge handed to me by Delano with the following intro: Doom is a wonderful franchise that first found life on the PC and I wholly applaud id Software for helping to completely reinvent the shooter genre back in 1993 and lay the groundwork for the modern shooter (along with those that came before it, like Wolfenstein 3D and Ken’s Labyrinth). It’s a tragedy that this franchise hasn’t seen anything really new since Doom III and honestly, it’s still going to be as good as you remember when you played it 20 years ago. I also never played Doom II, having only ever played Doom and Doom III.

With that said, though, I’m so glad this challenge is over and I can go back to thinking about what hat of shame I should wear because by God, I lost this challenge by a country mile.

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In Episode 09, we invite game devver Ben Myres, who occasionally writes something for the site and magazine in between learning about developing video games. We also try to completely avoid movie references (we attribute this to Rick still coming out of SuperAIDS and Chris trying not to say anything that Rick will copy and EVERYONE making sure they don’t allow Matthew and Chris to start on puns).

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