Webcomic critique!

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

hi guys, ive been making a webcomic for the past 3 days now and i would like to see what u guys think of it! i would like come good criticisms is possible :) but not just like "you suck", i would like "you suck because..." haha

its at http://nibbleslife.webs.com/. let me know!

thank you!

PS PS PS
NOT FOR KIDS, but if ur old enough to enjoy south park, then pls take a look :)

not sure if this counts as an advert or not but if it is please remove. thanks!

[Azimuth]

Do you know what menopause actually is?

[Graal]

No offense, but I didn't really find them funny, especially not the AA meeting webcomic. If I can give you a hint, cartoons that don't revolve around sex usually do much better, the reason being that if you do decide to center them around sex they should still have other elements to them not involving sex.

Try making random comics that don't necessarily involve sex, but have a sharp, witty kind of humor to them. Drawing cartoons isn't just about...drawing, you have to have a lot of humor to back it up.

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

Do you know what menopause actually is?

yep i do, wouldnt write about something i dont know about

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

No offense, but I didn't really find them funny, especially not the AA meeting webcomic. If I can give you a hint, cartoons that don't revolve around sex usually do much better, the reason being that if you do decide to center them around sex they should still have other elements to them not involving sex.

Try making random comics that don't necessarily involve sex, but have a sharp, witty kind of humor to them. Drawing cartoons isn't just about...drawing, you have to have a lot of humor to back it up.

no offense taken, its a critique after all :p thanks for the advice, will keep them in mind!

[Graal]

no offense taken, its a critique after all :p thanks for the advice, will keep them in mind!

I can see you have potential, you just have to develop it a bit more :p

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

haha thanks guy! appreciate it! question, did u find ANY of them funny tho? (--")

[McDangerous]

Cyanide and Happiness?? anyone?

Some of 'em were a bit, erm, lame-ish dude. The one where the chick goes into the bathroom i giggled at, but it's the little touches that really make it funny or not. If you'd lost the huge cleavage and maybe made her say something a bit more feminine or believable, it'd be a whole lot funnier. I know a few frames are a bit tough to really get a message through, but try and make every character have a bit more emotion.

They weren't terrible, just keep at it! And lose the penis man, really, the last thing i want to see when seeking a bit of humor is a tiny schlong. Small penis jokes won't get you far.

Not trying to break you down dude, just givin' my opinion

[Incognito]

It isn't on the level with most other web comics like penny-arcade and the likes but there is potential. Just please for the love of god do something about the art. Sorry I know you mean well and I'm not trying to shoot you down but I think the jokes will have more of a punch if the art was spot on.

Just my two cents.... I hope it works out for ya. I also wanted to start a webcomic at one point involving all the NAG forum stories and the people of all of Nagdom but eventually dropped the idea because I thought it would be stupid.

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

Cyanide and Happiness?? anyone?

Some of 'em were a bit, erm, lame-ish dude. The one where the chick goes into the bathroom i giggled at, but it's the little touches that really make it funny or not. If you'd lost the huge cleavage and maybe made her say something a bit more feminine or believable, it'd be a whole lot funnier. I know a few frames are a bit tough to really get a message through, but try and make every character have a bit more emotion.

They weren't terrible, just keep at it! And lose the penis man, really, the last thing i want to see when seeking a bit of humor is a tiny schlong. Small penis jokes won't get you far.

Not trying to break you down dude, just givin' my opinion

thanks dude (^^) will keep in mind! yep i was afraid of ppl thinking that it might be cyanide and happiness-ish but im really not trying to be like them. what i am experimenting with that is like them is how they turn controversial concepts into comedy, such as rape, pedophilia, bulimia etc etc, in a different style. but will def take your points to note. as for how they look, unfortunately one stick man will pretty much look like another stick man, no matter who draws it :/ but i will be doing proper paper drawings + scans at a later stage, but for now i dont have the time.

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

It isn't on the level with most other web comics like penny-arcade and the likes but there is potential. Just please for the love of god do something about the art. Sorry I know you mean well and I'm not trying to shoot you down but I think the jokes will have more of a punch if the art was spot on.

Just my two cents.... I hope it works out for ya. I also wanted to start a webcomic at one point involving all the NAG forum stories and the people of all of Nagdom but eventually dropped the idea because I thought it would be stupid.

thanks for the reply! hmm i actually dont know anything about these online webcomics (ironic as it is lol) bar cyanide and happiness (i usually read strips such as garfield, dilbert etc). perhaps i should look it up tonight haha. are there any other good ones such as penny arcade?

haha yeah please bear with the art for now :p unfortunately for now i do not have the time to make full drawings on paper and scan, i still need to fully experiment with it. so for now, quick quick stick men!

and dude just try your webcomic! like i know for a fact for every person that starts a comic (even cyanide and happiness) their first couple are either oki or lame etc etc, like mine haha :p looking through jim davis' first few makes me not want to read garfield, but look at him now (^^)

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

but thanks for the replies and support dudes! really appreciate it! expect proper changes around september :D

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

oh wait sorry last thing, are swear words oki? along the lines of sugar honey in tea + fudge, nothing stronger than that

[Zen]

Cyanide and Happiness?? anyone?

xkcd came to mind for me, just without the whole "technical" mindset required to laugh at xkcd.



Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).


Also bud, some of the humour is pretty dry. You can see you're trying but its not there - yet.

[KimberlyK]

"Webcomics" is a ridiculously oversaturated medium, it's difficult for even professional artists and writers to break ground. I'm not sure what exactly you're going for here, but if you're just trying to make your buddies laugh and have a good time, then uh, good job, I guess? You'll know better than anyone here what you and your friends enjoy, after all, and thus wouldn't need our help. If, however, you're trying to make a career out of this, then I really suggest you try something else...

That said, here is your critique, as requested:

I personally hate "monkey-cheese" (i.e. "random") humour, and thus am already biased against the comic, since it seems to loom rather large in its legend. Depending on the target audience, more competent artists can get away with monkey-cheese style humour (read: bad writing) if the art is good enough to compensate for it. A perfect example would be VG-Cats, where a lot of the punchlines are simply "LOL CHARACTER PULLS WHACKY FACE LOL". I loathe VG-cats, for the record, but I seem to be in the minority... go figure. Anyway, setting my own personal bias against that style of humour aside for the moment, the point I'm making is that your art simply isn't good enough to pull it off effectively. The thing you did with the lion, for example, might actually have been funny if it weren't so crudely drawn (again, putting my own reservations aside here since I don't find that sort of humour amusing at all, but I hope I get the point across).

The biggest problem with your art, as far as I am concerned, is that it lacks character. Nothing sets it apart from other amateur comics, so why read yours as opposed to the next guy's? The more successful comics that use stickmen as characters actually use posture, body language, facial expressions and action lines (google it) effectively in order to convey as much emotion and character as possible. Maybe try reading some tutorials or something, I don't know...

You used the same (poor) joke twice. Why?

Your jokes also come across as crude for the sake of being crude. It's as if you think the edginess gives you... well, an edge. Maybe if the jokes were clever, but they really aren't, I'm afraid. It comes across as very forced.

If I were to offer serious advice, it would be to always stop before posting your latest comic, step back, and then evaluate it critically. Ask yourself whether it has been done before, whether it is clever, refreshing, adds something different and will appeal to more people than just "my mum and my best friend Nigel". If any of the above criteria is not met, bin it.

Don't really have much else to say. Sorry if the above sounds overly negative, but I'm really just giving my honest opinion. Hope you improve, and I wish you luck, if you do decide to continue with it.

*shrugs*

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

xkcd came to mind for me, just without the whole "technical" mindset required to laugh at xkcd.



Also bud, some of the humour is pretty dry. You can see you're trying but its not there - yet.

oki i need to look up xkcd as well lol
but haha yeah most parts were intentionally dry :P

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

"Webcomics" is a ridiculously oversaturated medium, it's difficult for even professional artists and writers to break ground. I'm not sure what exactly you're going for here, but if you're just trying to make your buddies laugh and have a good time, then uh, good job, I guess? You'll know better than anyone here what you and your friends enjoy, after all, and thus wouldn't need our help. If, however, you're trying to make a career out of this, then I really suggest you try something else...

That said, here is your critique, as requested:

I personally hate "monkey-cheese" (i.e. "random") humour, and thus am already biased against the comic, since it seems to loom rather large in its legend. Depending on the target audience, more competent artists can get away with monkey-cheese style humour (read: bad writing) if the art is good enough to compensate for it. A perfect example would be VG-Cats, where a lot of the punchlines are simply "LOL CHARACTER PULLS WHACKY FACE LOL". I loathe VG-cats, for the record, but I seem to be in the minority... go figure. Anyway, setting my own personal bias against that style of humour aside for the moment, the point I'm making is that your art simply isn't good enough to pull it off effectively. The thing you did with the lion, for example, might actually have been funny if it weren't so crudely drawn (again, putting my own reservations aside here since I don't find that sort of humour amusing at all, but I hope I get the point across).

The biggest problem with your art, as far as I am concerned, is that it lacks character. Nothing sets it apart from other amateur comics, so why read yours as opposed to the next guy's? The more successful comics that use stickmen as characters actually use posture, body language, facial expressions and action lines (google it) effectively in order to convey as much emotion and character as possible. Maybe try reading some tutorials or something, I don't know...

You used the same (poor) joke twice. Why?

Your jokes also come across as crude for the sake of being crude. It's as if you think the edginess gives you... well, an edge. Maybe if the jokes were clever, but they really aren't, I'm afraid. It comes across as very forced.

If I were to offer serious advice, it would be to always stop before posting your latest comic, step back, and then evaluate it critically. Ask yourself whether it has been done before, whether it is clever, refreshing, adds something different and will appeal to more people than just "my mum and my best friend Nigel". If any of the above criteria is not met, bin it.

Don't really have much else to say. Sorry if the above sounds overly negative, but I'm really just giving my honest opinion. Hope you improve, and I wish you luck, if you do decide to continue with it.

*shrugs*

haha im sorry u didnt like my comic at all but from what you said i really dont think ur type of humour is my target audience :p so apologies for putting u through that! and of course no offence taken! im not forcing anyone to like the comic, its just interesting to see what ppl have to say.

it seems my humour is the complete opposite of yours, i personally LOVE the random stuff, not sure why, but its what floats my boat i guess :P haha yeah the art is a bit weak i realise, im working on some paper + scan attempts but i need to experiment still. i also completely agree on the lack of character part, but like i said, it still needs a lot of experimenting.

i used the same joke twice because i got some very good responses from the original joke (not from this forum tho hahah). i do try and evaluate as best as i can, really i do. but its difficult to juggle between which comic will appeal to which demographic, so some days i will try make something crude that some might enjoy while others will not, then perhaps another comic with the opposite result. i only really started considering doing not-so-crude comics with the responses i got here. its just confusing tho, im getting different responses from different forums argh, but its all about experimenting (^^)

but really dude thanks for the advice and i appreciate your comments! :D

[dislekcia]

General advice for enjoying producing your webcomic (because that's what you should be caring about):

1. Read Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics (http://www.scottmccloud.com/2-print/1-uc/index.html). It really is a great primer on everything webcomic related, from conveying emotion to understanding time progression via image.

2. Ignore your art. Completely. Get across what you want to get across, then stop.

3. Produce two comics for every one you want to put up... Decide on a schedule that you can stick to, over-produce, then pick the best ones. Everyone has millions of bad ideas, don't let a bad idea be all you've got to show on any specific day.

Advice for you:

1. Lose the multiple clicks to view the comic. Having a great big "18RSVNLZASPRAOISD!" warning that people have to scroll past to see the current comic is fine. Having a javascript popup lest you offend people is not. You can safely assume anyone heading to your archives won't need the warning, all you need to do is provide reasonable protection from instant offense so that WHEN anyone gets offended (because they will) you can say "Well, you shouldn't have continued scrolling then, now go away."

2. Write loads of jokes days in advance. Then test them on people. If they require a ton of setup text, they might not work too well. When it comes time to draw a comic, decide on an emotion or concept you really want to invert to create your humor and then riff on that for multiple comics.

3. Do not be afraid to re-draw or re-do old comic ideas that you didn't post. You'll get better over time, so coming back to something will give you a fresh way to tell that specific joke.

4. Study the way humor works. Monty Python humor is rather well documented by Cleese and Palin, they explain a lot of what they did and why in many of their books. It seems to me that British social comedy would be a good guide for what you want to express, take those concepts and make them your own.

[Falafel]

Maybe it's because I'm high as **** but I found them quite funny. The AA one and the shorts falling off ones were particularily funny. You definitely have potential so don't give up or anything stupid like that :)

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

General advice for enjoying producing your webcomic (because that's what you should be caring about):

1. Read Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics (http://www.scottmccloud.com/2-print/1-uc/index.html). It really is a great primer on everything webcomic related, from conveying emotion to understanding time progression via image.

2. Ignore your art. Completely. Get across what you want to get across, then stop.

3. Produce two comics for every one you want to put up... Decide on a schedule that you can stick to, over-produce, then pick the best ones. Everyone has millions of bad ideas, don't let a bad idea be all you've got to show on any specific day.

Advice for you:

1. Lose the multiple clicks to view the comic. Having a great big "18RSVNLZASPRAOISD!" warning that people have to scroll past to see the current comic is fine. Having a javascript popup lest you offend people is not. You can safely assume anyone heading to your archives won't need the warning, all you need to do is provide reasonable protection from instant offense so that WHEN anyone gets offended (because they will) you can say "Well, you shouldn't have continued scrolling then, now go away."

2. Write loads of jokes days in advance. Then test them on people. If they require a ton of setup text, they might not work too well. When it comes time to draw a comic, decide on an emotion or concept you really want to invert to create your humor and then riff on that for multiple comics.

3. Do not be afraid to re-draw or re-do old comic ideas that you didn't post. You'll get better over time, so coming back to something will give you a fresh way to tell that specific joke.

4. Study the way humor works. Monty Python humor is rather well documented by Cleese and Palin, they explain a lot of what they did and why in many of their books. It seems to me that British social comedy would be a good guide for what you want to express, take those concepts and make them your own.

hey man thanks for the advice :) will take a look into those books if i can! about the R18snvl signs i kinda have to, due to the host rules, but at least its only a click once :P

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

Maybe it's because I'm high as **** but I found them quite funny. The AA one and the shorts falling off ones were particularily funny. You definitely have potential so don't give up or anything stupid like that :)

hahahah thanks guy (^^)

[dislekcia]

Then find a new host.

Ease of access is the biggest failure point on web-based things. You don't notice when you can get there easily, but you certainly do when you can't.

[Graal]

Once again Dislekcia shows his talent for making the rest of us look stupid by stating his well-informed and intelligent opinion.

Edit: Oh, I liked your latest one, the one about why men can't date women.

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

Then find a new host.

Ease of access is the biggest failure point on web-based things. You don't notice when you can get there easily, but you certainly do when you can't.

haha unfortunately the one im using now is one of the better ones, but yeah i took it off, just thot, "bugger it" doubt they will check.

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

Once again Dislekcia shows his talent for making the rest of us look stupid by stating his well-informed and intelligent opinion.

Edit: Oh, I liked your latest one, the one about why men can't date women.

lol glad u liked that one, im mixing it up between vulgar and non vulgar now. different ppl like the different jokes :p

[onona]

PS PS PS
NOT FOR KIDS, but if ur old enough to enjoy south park, then pls take a look :)

Frankly, i'd say the only people who would find this funny are kids. Because the humour is extremely juvenile, and not in the same way that South Park is superficially juvenile, yet a cutting social satire when you look at it more deeply. Yours is just superficial and juvenile. Without the satire. Basically, it's not clever, it's just lame. So while South Park is wildly successful at being absolutely hilarious, your comic totally fails because you don't seem to grasp the mechanics of what actually makes stuff funny.

It's also trying far too hard to be like xkcd and Cyanide and Happiness. Hello, originality?

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

Frankly, i'd say the only people who would find this funny are kids. Because the humour is extremely juvenile, and not in the same way that South Park is superficially juvenile, yet a cutting social satire when you look at it more deeply. Yours is just superficial and juvenile. Without the satire. Basically, it's not clever, it's just lame. So while South Park is wildly successful at being absolutely hilarious, your comic totally fails because you don't seem to grasp the mechanics of what actually makes stuff funny.

It's also trying far too hard to be like xkcd and Cyanide and Happiness. Hello, originality?

yep i'm not trying to make a satire or a deep, meaningful comic, its not what i'm after. as well, neither am i trying to copy xkcd or cyanide and happiness, as i mentioned earlier, the only reason it seems like i'm trying to copy them is due to the art work, that being stick men are stick men. it's an unfortunate association, the moment someone makes use of stickmen people automatically assume its a C&H copy. i have only read one of the xkcd comics but i do read C&H very often and i will admit they are a major influence, but i strongly believe the way we carry out our humour is different.

but i understand what u are saying and obviously you do not find them funny and thats fine, different people will enjoy different types of humour and i respect that. i personally do enjoy a variety of humour, from clever, deep and witty straight down to crude, juvenile and vulgar.

sure kids will find it funny, as they do with anything, but i don't think just because you don't find my comics funny that it must mean its a complete failure (i'm not trying to come off as rude or trying to take a shot at you). clearly then, this type of comic is not for you. if everyone told me that they thought my comic is crap then i would listen and really consider it and probably quit because clearly its not working. but i receive a variety of responses, some people love what i do and others hate it, despite their age. so if other people find it funny then at least i'm appealing to people who match my humour and if thats what they like, i will continue to make my comics.

but again dude, i'm not trying to be rude or be offensive in this reply, so please don't take it in that light if it seems that i did.

[PerVert NexT Door]

To be honest, learn to take criticism. All you're doing is making excuses for your work, instead of trying understand why some people don't find it funny. Maybe try and look at your cartoons critically so you can improve. Instead of throwing the"It's not for everyone" line.

In my opinion, Your cartoons are being juvenile and crude simply for the sake of being juvenille and crude. Which to me, really isn't that funny.

[Azimuth]

To be honest, learn to take criticism. All you're doing is making excuses for your work, instead of trying understand why some people don't find it funny. Maybe try and look at your cartoons critically so you can improve. Instead of throwing the"It's not for everyone" line.

In my opinion, Your cartoons are being juvenile and crude simply for the sake of being juvenille and crude. Which to me, really isn't that funny.

This.

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

To be honest, learn to take criticism. All you're doing is making excuses for your work, instead of trying understand why some people don't find it funny. Maybe try and look at your cartoons critically so you can improve. Instead of throwing the"It's not for everyone" line.

In my opinion, Your cartoons are being juvenile and crude simply for the sake of being juvenille and crude. Which to me, really isn't that funny.

no no i'm honestly not trying to make excuses and i'm happy to hear ppl dislike my comic, really i am! it allows me to see in general what ppl like/dislike. the comic is juvenile and crude, definitely! its the kind of comic i'm going for. and i'm not arguing with that or with anyone. what i replied to onona was not a retaliation of any kind, i'm honestly just saying what i feel with no ill intent or contempt whatsoever.

i'm not trying to make an excuse by saying, "its not for everyone". like i said before there are ppl who have responded positively to the comic while others absolutely hate it. if everyone said they hated it, then yes, that would be a blatant excuse and i would be hiding from the truth and that would be completely stupid of me. but now just because the majority of people here dislike my comic, does it mean i must wholly ignore the positives said by others?

but thank you for the reply, and i fully respect your opinion, i honestly mean it. i do try look critically (especially recently after posting here) at a comic before releasing it and but if it fails to make you laugh then the most i can say is i'm sorry you didn't enjoy reading it and i hope the next one will.

[Flangenimblick]

I lol'ed.

I dunno, it just appeals to me, take from that what you want. A few of them were very lame but some of them made me laugh hard and others made me chuckle. I didn't go in expecting incredible humour, I just wanted a laugh and to see some ****-jokes, and I got just that!

Keep on truckin' dude, I'm liking it.

But don't put too much stock into what others think. If you want a good webcomic, draw and write for yourself. Make it the way you want to and tell the jokes that make YOU laugh. It may never be a Penny Arcade or whatever, but who the PONIES cares?As long as you feel good about what you're putting out, that's all that matters. And hey, if you like juvenile humour then you like juvenile humour. Don't try to make it "smart" or "clever", just be yo'self.

[-<Blatz_ztalB>-]

I lol'ed.

I dunno, it just appeals to me, take from that what you want. A few of them were very lame but some of them made me laugh hard and others made me chuckle. I didn't go in expecting incredible humour, I just wanted a laugh and to see some ****-jokes, and I got just that!

Keep on truckin' dude, I'm liking it.

But don't put too much stock into what others think. If you want a good webcomic, draw and write for yourself. Make it the way you want to and tell the jokes that make YOU laugh. It may never be a Penny Arcade or whatever, but who the PONIES cares?As long as you feel good about what you're putting out, that's all that matters. And hey, if you like juvenile humour then you like juvenile humour. Don't try to make it "smart" or "clever", just be yo'self.

hey man, thanks a lot really appreciate it :) i think ur right, gonna do what i do then (^^) haha yep, who the ponies cares!! thanks again man!

[GhOsT_828]

Some of the comics are quite amusing. Keep it up.

[dammit]

Yeah, sorry, this really didn't even get a smile. Need to work on the humour. Also, you seem to be trying *too* hard. A comic shouldn't need tons of writing to explain the situation.

[Chaos]

I usualy prefer long running storyline like with OOTS.

That being said, Im willing to admit a chuckled at a few of these, but not many. Not enough to make me come back for more.

I dont realy have much else to says since pretty much anything I would have said has already been commented on in this thread.