Miktar
02-09-2009, 05:40 AM
South African goldfarming industry suffering
It's been a lean year for South African goldfarmers. Thanks to rising bandwidth costs, local goldfarmers have had a hard time competing with their international counterparts. "We just can't run as many scripts as Americans or Koreans", Andre "LOLS2RICHES" DeBeer told reporters last week at the annual goldfarming convention held in Klerksdorp. "We implore local MMO gamers to not buy foreign farmed gold and they should rather support the local market by buying gold farmed proudly in South Africa". Analysts expect the goldfarmers to appeal to the government for subsidy, if the current trends continue.
Flying Penis Wedding ruined by Normalcy
Attendants to the Wedding of SexyChick69 and LandOwnerBaptist in the popular MMO Second Life were horrified when the wedding was crashed by hordes of players running around as regular fully-clothed human-shaped avatars. The friends and family were shocked and appalled by the sudden "attack", and SexyChick69 told reporters that she is "really disappointed that so many people have nothing better to do, than to ruin their wedding". LandOwnerBaptist has started several groups to take action against the perpetrators, claiming that "people who want to look like a flying penis in a game, have a right to get married in peace" and that "if they really had to do it, why did they decide on something so horrible as to just appear in large groups as regular people. It's disgusting".
Competitive gamer fails to ***** about local tournament
When asked how the ESPC Qualifiers went by Ubergamer TV roving reporter John "lolghey" Krans, participant Alistar "TitBoy" van Rensburg had no complaints. "It was a good event, everyone had a great time and the organizers were really on top of things", Alistar admitted. "I'm really glad I went, there was a lot of good competition and I'm happy I managed to place third". There has been a lot of lively debate about the controversial comments from Alistar, and a board of inquiry has been created to deal with both the mounting questions from the competitive gaming community, and to address concerns the ESPC have raised. "We're just not sure what to make of what TitBoy had to say, and we're really concerned he may be setting precedence", ESPC spokeswoman Vicky "LadyLegs" Amstre admitted to the press. "We're just not sure if there is a future for competitive esports, with people like him around".
flOw
(review)
PS3
The PlayStation 3 is the best console ever and nothing anyone says will change that. The PlayStation 2 was the most-selling console and the PlayStation 3 will be too, as soon as all the kids grow up enough to be able to afford it. Unfortunately, I believe that Sony may have made a mistake releasing flOw on the PlayStation 3 because I don't think the game is very Christian. flOw was originally an experiment by some guy on the internet in "game dynamics" or something, and he made a flash game to represent the ideas. Sony saw it and paid the guy to make a better version for the PlayStation 3 that you can buy off the PlayStation Store for R45. In flOw you control this little worm thing and swim around, directing it by tilting the PS3 controller as if you're rolling a marble on a plate. I ate a little creature and "evolved", so I deleted the game.
Counter-Strike gene found
After years of government-funded research the Human Genome Project has managed to isolate and capture a specific recessive gene they believe is responsible for the overwhelming popularity of the online mutual masturbation simulator, Counter-Strike. Back in 1862, Jess Cliff apparently tripped over his two year old daughter, smashing his head into his computer keyboard. The end result was that his spreadsheet and prayer program compiled to something very different that also happened to work as a mod for Half-Life, a game most people have played but don't really think about because the graphics are totally ass compared to Half-Life 2. Cliff quickly noticed just how satisfying Counter-Strike could be and quickly started distributing it via various Christian youth-group websites. Soon, a large community formed around Counter-Strike and the rest will eventually be taught in school alongside other dark periods in mankind's history.
While working late one night renowned geneticist and project leader at the Human Genome Project Prokary Otes noticed a strange segment of nucleic acid markers. "Most genes contain non-coding regions that do not code for the gene products, but regulate gene expressions", he went on to say over coffee. "The genes of eukaryotic organisms, such as Counter-Strike enthusiasts, can contain non-coding regions called introns that are removed from the messenger RNA in a process known as archaea base-pairing". He hopes this recent discovering will help create additional funding which may lead to identifying the DotA gene megabase.
Sadly, identifying the genetic markers brings science no step closer to a cure.
Wii "1-UP"
Hot on the heels of the Xbox 360 Elite with its black exterior, beefy 120GB drive and non-compliant HDMI support comes the Nintendo Wii "1-UP" - a spruced up prettified version of the popular exercise kit that has managed to capture the pacemakers of the elderly everywhere. "It's like having only ferocious dinosaurs," mentions top Nintendo psychic friend Shigeru Miyamoto, "They might fight and hasten their own extinction."
Incontinent Wii designer Ken'ichiro Ashida was brought back from his hiatus in Switzerland to design the new Wii "1-UP" which Nintendo hopes will "be a total Revolution" according to an inside source who sat next to Satoru Iwata on the train while on the way to karaoke. Ashida has described his design philosophy for the "1-UP" as "live with it, sleep with it, eat with it, move along with it", before proceeding to duct-tape two Gamecubes together and shouting "FLYING MAN" and flying off into the sunset. As most journalists have discovered, there is a cultural barrier one has to deal with when talking to the strange nations across the ocean.
Ubergamer was so much fun to do, shame it ended up being more work than regular NAG writing because, well, making up funny **** is actually kind of hard. :P
It's been a lean year for South African goldfarmers. Thanks to rising bandwidth costs, local goldfarmers have had a hard time competing with their international counterparts. "We just can't run as many scripts as Americans or Koreans", Andre "LOLS2RICHES" DeBeer told reporters last week at the annual goldfarming convention held in Klerksdorp. "We implore local MMO gamers to not buy foreign farmed gold and they should rather support the local market by buying gold farmed proudly in South Africa". Analysts expect the goldfarmers to appeal to the government for subsidy, if the current trends continue.
Flying Penis Wedding ruined by Normalcy
Attendants to the Wedding of SexyChick69 and LandOwnerBaptist in the popular MMO Second Life were horrified when the wedding was crashed by hordes of players running around as regular fully-clothed human-shaped avatars. The friends and family were shocked and appalled by the sudden "attack", and SexyChick69 told reporters that she is "really disappointed that so many people have nothing better to do, than to ruin their wedding". LandOwnerBaptist has started several groups to take action against the perpetrators, claiming that "people who want to look like a flying penis in a game, have a right to get married in peace" and that "if they really had to do it, why did they decide on something so horrible as to just appear in large groups as regular people. It's disgusting".
Competitive gamer fails to ***** about local tournament
When asked how the ESPC Qualifiers went by Ubergamer TV roving reporter John "lolghey" Krans, participant Alistar "TitBoy" van Rensburg had no complaints. "It was a good event, everyone had a great time and the organizers were really on top of things", Alistar admitted. "I'm really glad I went, there was a lot of good competition and I'm happy I managed to place third". There has been a lot of lively debate about the controversial comments from Alistar, and a board of inquiry has been created to deal with both the mounting questions from the competitive gaming community, and to address concerns the ESPC have raised. "We're just not sure what to make of what TitBoy had to say, and we're really concerned he may be setting precedence", ESPC spokeswoman Vicky "LadyLegs" Amstre admitted to the press. "We're just not sure if there is a future for competitive esports, with people like him around".
flOw
(review)
PS3
The PlayStation 3 is the best console ever and nothing anyone says will change that. The PlayStation 2 was the most-selling console and the PlayStation 3 will be too, as soon as all the kids grow up enough to be able to afford it. Unfortunately, I believe that Sony may have made a mistake releasing flOw on the PlayStation 3 because I don't think the game is very Christian. flOw was originally an experiment by some guy on the internet in "game dynamics" or something, and he made a flash game to represent the ideas. Sony saw it and paid the guy to make a better version for the PlayStation 3 that you can buy off the PlayStation Store for R45. In flOw you control this little worm thing and swim around, directing it by tilting the PS3 controller as if you're rolling a marble on a plate. I ate a little creature and "evolved", so I deleted the game.
Counter-Strike gene found
After years of government-funded research the Human Genome Project has managed to isolate and capture a specific recessive gene they believe is responsible for the overwhelming popularity of the online mutual masturbation simulator, Counter-Strike. Back in 1862, Jess Cliff apparently tripped over his two year old daughter, smashing his head into his computer keyboard. The end result was that his spreadsheet and prayer program compiled to something very different that also happened to work as a mod for Half-Life, a game most people have played but don't really think about because the graphics are totally ass compared to Half-Life 2. Cliff quickly noticed just how satisfying Counter-Strike could be and quickly started distributing it via various Christian youth-group websites. Soon, a large community formed around Counter-Strike and the rest will eventually be taught in school alongside other dark periods in mankind's history.
While working late one night renowned geneticist and project leader at the Human Genome Project Prokary Otes noticed a strange segment of nucleic acid markers. "Most genes contain non-coding regions that do not code for the gene products, but regulate gene expressions", he went on to say over coffee. "The genes of eukaryotic organisms, such as Counter-Strike enthusiasts, can contain non-coding regions called introns that are removed from the messenger RNA in a process known as archaea base-pairing". He hopes this recent discovering will help create additional funding which may lead to identifying the DotA gene megabase.
Sadly, identifying the genetic markers brings science no step closer to a cure.
Wii "1-UP"
Hot on the heels of the Xbox 360 Elite with its black exterior, beefy 120GB drive and non-compliant HDMI support comes the Nintendo Wii "1-UP" - a spruced up prettified version of the popular exercise kit that has managed to capture the pacemakers of the elderly everywhere. "It's like having only ferocious dinosaurs," mentions top Nintendo psychic friend Shigeru Miyamoto, "They might fight and hasten their own extinction."
Incontinent Wii designer Ken'ichiro Ashida was brought back from his hiatus in Switzerland to design the new Wii "1-UP" which Nintendo hopes will "be a total Revolution" according to an inside source who sat next to Satoru Iwata on the train while on the way to karaoke. Ashida has described his design philosophy for the "1-UP" as "live with it, sleep with it, eat with it, move along with it", before proceeding to duct-tape two Gamecubes together and shouting "FLYING MAN" and flying off into the sunset. As most journalists have discovered, there is a cultural barrier one has to deal with when talking to the strange nations across the ocean.
Ubergamer was so much fun to do, shame it ended up being more work than regular NAG writing because, well, making up funny **** is actually kind of hard. :P