Kids- Why do people have them?

[Slither]

People have kids for the sole selfish purpose of trying to glorify and immortalize themselves, and some even have the audacity of naming the kid after themselves, thinking it will be a carbon copy of them...shame man, how VAIN can you get. a Child may be created by the act of copulation, but YOU did not create him, it was a miracle of nature, and YOU do not own him, he is a whole new person, with his own ideas, and his own personality. Yet this is the sole reason why most people decide to have kids. Your opinion?

[Yuri]

I think your views are slightly extreme:). Its natural for people to want to have kids, call that what you want. I know couples that were dead set against having kids, yet once married it just seemed the next step to take. I also think it has a lot to do with a woman's natural desire to have a child, not all woman of course, but most.

Do I personally want kids? I'm not really sure. I've seen people have to basically give up their lives for their children, and I think that burden falls heaviest on the mother. So yeah when I'm married I can reevaluate what I want.

[Garson007]

We will have Onona in this thread in 3... 2... 1... GO!

[bullet]

sole selfish purpose

Well my kids and a lot of my freinds and families kids have been unexpected, (even call them mistakes if you wish) and there's nothing better than watching them grow and develope their own character, personality and ideas about life.

That is not MY opinion but a fact.

A large portion of our population have kids for an entirely different reason - to look after them in their old age, and the more they have the better they are looked after.

As Yuri said, most woman just naturally want kids.

The last thing I want for my kids is to be a "carbon copy of me" , I want them to do MORE!!!! hehehehe

[Kharrak]

Moved to Off Topic.

People want to have children, due to the natural drive to procreate - an element prevalent within females, but present in males as well. Some cultures and traditions build upon this, and make it more formalized, but it's all built on the biological foundations, and these tend to ensure the success of the biological trait.

In many ways, having a child, and successfully rearing a child, is the most life affirming thing possible. You've been biologically successful, and even more so if you can bring up your child(ren) up in a healthy environment where they can then go on to be healthy, successful, and have children of their own in an equally safe and productive environment.

The natural urge to pass on what the parent knows, or the rituals and mannerisms of the parents on to the children is natural. You're essentially passing on your traits that, ultimately, allowed you to survive in the word and bear children, so that your children can do the same. One wants to push their teachings on their children, because you, with those teachings, were able to "make it through" life.

A large degree of the care IS due to that sense of creation - more so for the female, due to the gestation, but a lot for the male as well, since part of him is a part of the child. That sense of creation, that sense of creating a new "you", combined with the biological drive to protect and care for it, naturally means there is a tremendous amount of protectiveness that goes on. The core aspect is that it's the most valuable object that anyone could harbour - unless the person's psyche is honed in such a way that self-preservation takes a priority over genetic and species preservation.

I also feel it's somewhat flippant to accuse the desire to have children as a selfish cause - mostly because absolutely everything anyone does is driven by selfish desire - or, put another way, all done for primarily ones own gain. The negative connotation is very misleading, and should be separated - it's just a natural drive for self-preservation and empowerment, and often results in acts that benefits others. Selfishness is what drives all living things, it's what keeps things surviving.

[KaosLord]

Reproduction mebbe?

[Squirly]

Because oops? Hey it happens more than you think.

But I have to agree with most of what's been posted in response already. It's in our nature because a long time ago we needed to reproduce in order for the species to survive. It's something built into every living being. We're well past this point at the moment and in fact, are heading in the other direction if we keep multiplying, but that's another discussion I think.

[Obi Two Kenobi]

To keep the generation/surname from dying out.

[Kharrak]

We're well past this point at the moment and in fact, are heading in the other direction if we keep multiplying, but that's another discussion I think.

Not really - that's only the situation in some places. Egypt, for example, has an exploding population, and the country can't support it (thus the current events). Other places, childbirth is plunging - particularly places within the orient, where government are desperately trying encourage people to breed.

[dark15]

That is the case with some parents... But most parents want kids because they love children... Its natural

[Squirly]

Other places, childbirth is plunging - particularly places within the orient, where government are desperately trying encourage people to breed.

Yes, but in the nation's interest, not the planet's.

[Kharrak]

Yes, but in the nation's interest, not the planet's.
When has it even been in the planet's interest? ;p

[Azimuth]

People have kids for the sole selfish purpose of trying to glorify and immortalize themselves, and some even have the audacity of naming the kid after themselves, thinking it will be a carbon copy of them...shame man, how VAIN can you get. a Child may be created by the act of copulation, but YOU did not create him, it was a miracle of nature, and YOU do not own him, he is a whole new person, with his own ideas, and his own personality. Yet this is the sole reason why most people decide to have kids. Your opinion?

Um. Just a bit extreme, don't you think?

Sure, some people have kids for selfish reasons - welfare freeloaders with ten brats come immediately to mind. But I'm sure that for many people, it's simply a natural part of growing up. People find partners, settle down, and at some point, realise that they want kids and a family.

There's also, as some people have already pointed out, a biological reproductive imperative. At its most fundamental and banal, humanity could not perpetuate as a species if we didn't produce children. Why do you think humans have sex drives?

[onona]

I find children creepy because all parents are self confessed SATANISTS. This is a fact. I have no evidence of this but will post it in every thread about children and then get really ****y and personal if anyone dares to disagree with me, and then I'll just disappear from the thread to ever avoid admitting that I am wrong.

[Jerkydarkstar]

I'm afraid of children. They look at you funny. Like , you owe them something.
NONE for me please.

[dammit]

personally, i just wish more thinking went into the process these days instead of just giving into instinctive drives.

[Zoop]

I guess Slither found out the truth his parents has been hiding from him all these years.

[Alex]

People have kids for the sole selfish purpose of trying to glorify and immortalize themselves, and some even have the audacity of naming the kid after themselves, thinking it will be a carbon copy of them...shame man, how VAIN can you get. a Child may be created by the act of copulation, 1.but YOU did not create him, 2.it was a miracle of nature, and YOU do not own him, 3. he is a whole new person, with his own ideas, and his own personality. Yet this is the sole reason why most people decide to have kids. Your opinion?

1.Yes I did.

2.Yes it was.

3 Yes, exactly.

Your idea of having kids is wrong. Most likely because you don't (yet) have them.

What's great about having kids is that you get to give someone new a chance at being themselves, have their own ideas and personality.

It is everything BUT selfish. It is giving half your life to that person, knowing they are going to make something of it, if they choose to. ;)

[Aesir]

Do I sense some daddy issues Slither? Mebbe they are tired of their dogs?

As an uncle, not a father yet ():) I can tell you that children are our biggest blessing. My friends got their little shyte 15 months ago, I thought I was going to hate him but he did really bring new life into me. (you older members will confess my drunken rants halved.) :P

What I realised in this time is that I would rather have a girl than a boy, girls are much calmer and more sophisticated than us guys. Even at such a young age. ^^,

[Slither]

I find children creepy because all parents are self confessed SATANISTS. This is a fact. I have no evidence of this but will post it in every thread about children and then get really ****y and personal if anyone dares to disagree with me, and then I'll just disappear from the thread to ever avoid admitting that I am wrong.

LOL Onona, I really GOT to you there, didn't I? OK, if you want it, here it is... I HUMBLY ADMIT I WAS WRONG, AND I APOLOGISE.
But I never called you a retard or an idiot, so I think you're the one that got personal. You REALLY tend to stoop very low in an argument. There's no need to call people names to try and get your point across, it's SO un-ladylike, you know...

[GeometriX]

Take it, the ****, to PM. This isn't your facebook wall.

[CrashHelmut]

As a youngster I realised that the only reason my dad had me, is to have someone to yell at to fetch him the screwdriver.

I am yet to be entirely dissuaded of this notion.


personally, i just wish more thinking went into the process these days instead of just giving into instinctive drives.

On that topic, from the A.V. Club (http://www.avclub.com/articles/friends-of-teen-mom-stars-are-also-getting-pregnan,51655/):

MTV?s Teen Mom franchise is pitched as a cautionary tale, but surprisingly, turning ill-prepared young mothers into reality TV and tabloid stars has led other girls to believe there may be a causal relationship between pregnancy and a shot at celebrity?as though teenage girls would ever get so hung up by the lure of fame, they'd completely miss the sobering lessons about taking responsibility for your actions. Anyway, while the crazy idea that teenagers might be embarking on the miracle of motherhood just to get on the cover of Us Weekly has been floated before, the New York Post claims to have picked up some possible empirical proof: Four equally young friends of the mothers featured on Teen Mom 2 have become pregnant within the last year, with at least one doing it explicitly ?in order to become a regular on the show,? according to one source. Well, or maybe they just all found amazing guys and want a baby to share in their love? When did we forget about love?

[Zoop]

As a youngster I realised that the only reason my dad had me, is to have someone to yell at to fetch him the screwdriver.


Well, my dad basically got me and my brother for the same reason, but I have factual information to back this up. He once told me he had children to make his life easier, easier in the way of doing all the menial tasks that he hates doing, such as pitching the tent when we go camping, washing his boat, shovelling dog **** etc.

Not stuff I actually object to doing, he is after all, paying for my studies and everything, so I can't complain. It's just the thought of it that really bothered me, though.

[KalMaverick]

Well, my dad basically got me and my brother for the same reason, but I have factual information to back this up. He once told me he had children to make his life easier, easier in the way of doing all the menial tasks that he hates doing, such as pitching the tent when we go camping, washing his boat, shovelling dog **** etc.

Not stuff I actually object to doing, he is after all, paying for my studies and everything, so I can't complain. It's just the thought of it that really bothered me, though.

Gahaha

One of the best things I've learnt to date: How to say no with that don't-bother-asking-again look.

My life has never been the same.

[Yuri]

Gahaha

One of the best things I've learnt to date: How to say no with that don't-bother-asking-again look.

My life has never been the same.

If I had ever tried that with my father a back-hand is all I would have received for my efforts. My father required a certain fearful respect, and now that I'm older, I agree that he was right.

[Shadowrend]

Hmmm...

I think OP has his own reasons to think that way about kids - I wouldn't tell him he's WRONG because, well, nobody here really knows why he/ she thinks that.

Anyway, for my 5 cents: I think having a child is the biggest responsibility anybody can undertake. Ever. So, while I see no issue with having a kid - I have issue with people having 10 of them. (I am, btw, an only child)

I just don't understand how parents can actually survive while being torn apart by 10 children that all want something different. I think I would go bat****.

I'm still waaaaaaaaay young so I have no idea whether I am responsible enough to have kids. I probably will, one day - but it would have to be a sure thing, a planned thing. And it would probably be just one or MAYBE two.

Also, birth control ftw - when people (poor people) have a family of 10 and blame it on not being able to afford condoms, they can gtfo. Condoms are free. /end

What were we talking about? :/

[wisp]

I have three kids , ages 31 ,26,23
Were any of them planned,no
Why did we have them , you get married and the next logical step that everybody expects is kids i suppose.The norm of society , peer pressure , the perfect family , wife and 2.4 kids sort of thing.

The biggest problem with having kids is when/if the divorce comes . The kids suffer the most, i saw this in my 2 divorces .They feel caught in the middle , forced to take sides and thats not right .

[KalMaverick]

If I had ever tried that with my father a back-hand is all I would have received for my efforts. My father required a certain fearful respect, and now that I'm older, I agree that he was right.

Very true, but there comes a time (and an age ofcourse) when you not a little errand boy anymore. My father never had to hit me in his life before because I would do what he wants up to a point. I'm not fearful of him at all but I do respect him, Although I've seen it in a lot of parents I don't follow the I need to be feared to be respected idea.

Picking up dog crap of a dog I didn't want and he chose to get?

Unfortunately one of those things I will refuse to do.

To be on topic though, I think a lot whether I want children or not and still can't decide. I have a nephew and he already drives me up a wall to the point of me wanting to never even think of children.