Poetry Corner (Here Be Emo - Enter At Own Risk)

[wisp]

I am posting this with the hopes that there is enough interest to start a poetry corner. I realise that poetry is not for every one but hopefully their are a few out their who enjoy writing their own poems(not copies of your favorites it must be self written ). If there are please post them in this threads.Here is one of mine to start of

Ode to Gamers

Oh solitary child won’t you come out and play
I will take you to a world were you will want to stay
A world of fantasy, adventure and joy
A world were only you can rule
And win the day or lose the girl

Oh solitary child please listen to me
You can go to places were you want to be
For in these worlds which are at your command
The decisions you take and choices you make
Will determine how this play will end

Oh solitary child break out with me
Become as one, I’ll set you free
Become adventure, war or space
Never fear to win the race
Build your armies and rule this place

Oh solitary child become myself
And take that box down from the shelve
And open up those childhood dreams
Hunt those aliens, train your teams
Plot and plan while you scheme

Oh solitary child don’t listen to them
The old ones will never play a game
But rather they will place the blame
And make you feel all there shame
Stay with us and were are all the same

Oh solitary child you are now us
Welcome to our world, you see we don’t fuss
For a gamers life is the life for me
Just like the child inside of me
I have now set you free

[Rebbo_Reformed]

Nice poem wisp, I enjoyed it a lot!
I unfortunately don't write much poetry there should be some poetry forums.

[wisp]

Nice poem wisp, I enjoyed it a lot!
I unfortunately don't write much poetry there should be some poetry forums.

Thanks i hope other poeple will also post there poems here too

[kHayne]

zomg, insomnia can do silly things.
My 'crud' (it's not poetry) is largely just mental garbage that finds the occasional outlet.

Hum

A night spent awake listening to
the electric hum, the background drone
of cars far off, and people, and televisions
and radio talk show hosts and gunshots
blended together, a ****tail of din.
Humanity clustered, like a rat-king
noisomely, ignorantly, huddled against the dark
of the cosmos.

And yet it is comforting
A kind of solace therein, a night spent awake
hearing the buzz of productivity
that never ends, and never sleeps
A hive of mankind busying itself
Staving off the harsh reality
of a meaningless end, to all things in single.

For while one may expire
like milk past it's sell by date
The hum continues.

[ShadowMaster]

@kHayne: Thouroghly wierd poem

[kHayne]

Yeah. I'd go dig up some more past stuff I've written but I'm afraid it's all the same. Emo, lousy, and doesnt rhyme. /shrug.
I do it for me though, nobody else.

[Azimuth]

Erm, since when does poetry have to rhyme? Some of the greatest poems evar - Yeats's The Second Coming, for example - have no rhyme scheme. Even meter can be tossed aside in favour of simply saying something worth saying - but, like, in verse.

[kHayne]

Er, what the hell, here's a fun one I came up with a long, long while ago.

Hamster Blues

Hamster was his name
A rambunctious little spit
His cage he would despoil
And daily pile up ****

A rodent oh so fine
and golden brown and gleaming
But every ****ing night
Wheel spinning, i'd wake screaming

Insomnia was my curse
and smelly droppings, bane
I often wondered, staring
If I'd someday go insane

And crush him like a tube
of toothpaste, oozing goo
But never did I break
For hamstercide's taboo!

And then one day ,'pon rising
And realising night of peace
I cautiously glanced over
Lo! Hamster was deceased

For Hamster, in his ever
Quest to halt my nap
While eating of his pellets
Had choked on his own crap.

[wisp]

Khayne i like your work , great poems :)

[echo]

@ wisp: Ode to gamers, brilliant poem. Really enjoyed it.

@ kHayne: Hamster Blues, one of the best poems of ever read!

[wisp]

@ Echo , thanks got any of your poems to post:)

[echo]

No, my english is quite horrible, and so are my poems, but I love reading other people's poems. And I prefer that poems rhyme, it just makes it more fun to read.

[wisp]

@ Azimuth any chance of you submitting a poem ? :) Please :)

[kHayne]

zomgemoes


Autumn's Romeo

Autumn comes, relentless lover
and burns the leaves of the sycamore tree
A death of one is a death of many
Crimson blades of memories flee

The cold comes, a stalking reaper
Razors of ice slash 'twain daydreams of peace
A sun has set on this pale dwindling day
No aegis against the deceased

At last I come, my love, to you
Now to the halls of mortality's end
But will your girlish laughter still echo
To whence this soul shall soon descend?

And as the last curtain comes down
On a life spent in regret, one spent pained
I know now, at last worthy to join you
Courage to use the blade gained.

[wisp]

@ Khanye.i really like it gr8 poem

[Kensei]

I have heaps of poems, some unfinished, some just don't feel right... Are we allowed to give constructive critism?
Anyways,
Here's one I found of mine purely by chance ;) Tell me who relates to this situation :D

Weep, child of the Information Age.
Your sacred machine of power and circuits is not formidable any more.

Suffer, disciple of the spirited and fantastical world of games.
Your world is fades and disappears.

Desire, dreamer of superior, powerful, monster machinery.
Watch as your made-up heroes and villains fade from view.

Without latest technology, you are forced to relinquish your joy, your escape, your pleasure and your happiness.
Without funds, reality breaks down your walls.
Without your escape,

the real world wins.

[wisp]

@ Kensai-i can definately relate and i think construcive critism will help and i for one would welcome it, love the poem :)

[Kensei]

@wisp: Cool - then I kindly request that people give me their opinions about my poems. Tis one thing that I don't get upset if someone doesn't like ;)

K, next one to give to the masses...

Charge once more into the fray
Greet and smile every waking day
Falter not, fear not, step straight ahead
Forgive many, forget little, don't die until you are dead

Keep the faith deep in your heart
Believe in the light, the fresh new start
Stand tall where others kneel
Listen to your heart, say what you feel.

[wisp]

@ Kensai-i like your style, your poems speak from the heart,they are bold and straight forward , i like

[wisp]

a another offering for your critique

The room

A crisp whiteness filled the air
Engulfing all within its stare
I have no idea how I got here
So I?ll just sit here in this chair

And as I looked around this place
Strangers all inside my space
All were staring at my face
I want to say ?what?s your case?

But even as these thoughts arose
I realized I couldn?t feel my nose
I even tried to wiggle my toes
To no avail, nothing goes

So as I sat there all was still
Of this place I?d had my fill
I was there against my will
I got so mad, I wanted to kill

As emotions rose I saw more clear
These strangers seemed to feel my fear
One even tried wipe a tear
I realized these people care

Silent voices filled my head
As I saw my self, I saw red
Thoughts of anger fear and dread
Ran like spider along a thread

I looked upon my own shell
And all the others did as well
I saw the reason , it was a bitter pill
I hadn?t even been that ill

I read the tag upon my foot
My name spelt wrong to boot
One thought filled me to my root
Would I look good in a suit.

[Wrathchild]

I have found some old poems I wrote a few years back, and it was quite interesting seeing how emotional I was at that time. It was a bit of a bad time in my life, so here goes:

How my life to always seem to spiral downward,
A trend I cannot stop, or want to, albeit I know it to be so wrong
All I have is the past and how easy it was to be
So uncomplicated, so pure, so full of joy
Sometimes I think I am cursed into follow into the path destined by my genes
But then also I got the gift of knowing exactly what not to do.
But that is a gift that is unwrapped, unused on the mantelpiece of my soul.
Flirting with destruction, was always my specialty.
I could break anything- a promise, a heart, and a mind
And all of these things I broke myself, for myself, raped to make untouched.

Alone now again after all these months
Good thing? I do not know.
Self-destruction -imminent again.
I wish I were like everybody else… But am I?

Does everyone ponder simple things to the point of madness?
A thing that does not pay to serve any use -like
This pointless confrontation of myself
I am like one of the rest of humanity when considering
I crave everything that pleases me?

Spirit only translates into that which I can consume,
Air- only of that I can use to sustain the previous “habit”
Sporadic intervals of normality that only serves to annoy me
But still longing for it to be enough to hold it back.
Self-orgasm is only a valve I control in not striding onto that unholy ground
But every unholy ground has been treaded on by me.
It is my last bastion… My only link to humanity.

Or at least what humanity perceives itself to be.

Or my role in it.


Written to my best friend, my sister:

My dearest call, is the call of my blood,
Coming together, somehow symbiotic,
Always seems to bond, to heal
To understand is the way to soothe, to express myself,
The understanding between us is almost maddening in it’s simplicity
But so profound in it’s meaning.

It does me good, it does me bad.
Good, in where I see myself coming from,
Bad, as I see myself how I once was,
The restless enthusiasm,
the soul ignoring the mirror
To see myself poisoning this oasis with self,
Preservation turning into bitter water
through projection of pain and point of view.

But this is a fountain of new inspiration

And finally after playing Planescape: Torment for the first time: (Sorry for the CAPS!)

WHEN FLIGHTS OF FANTASY TURNS INTO REALITY,
AND TRUTH STARES YOU RIGHT INTO THE EYES,
JUDGING YOU DOWN TO YOUR DEEPEST THOUGHTS AND FEARS,
…….ONLY THEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.

BUT YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE,
TO TURN THE COLD SHOULDER TO YOU’RE MOST PRESSING QUESTIONS,
TO MOST, INTIMATE FEARS BURIED ARE UNDER THE BRAVADO,
AND SEEMINGLY LET IT BLEND INTO OUR PERSONALITY.

BUT IT’S A FACE THAT IS NOT YOUR OWN,
BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK IF ANYBODY SEES, WHAT TO YOU IS KNOWN.
A SOUL THAT IS LOST TO THE WORLD,
LIKE A PIECE OF CLOTH IN THE WIND.

BE SWEPT FROM ONE EMOTION TO THE NEXT,
…AND THEN SAY NOTHING OF IT.
IGNORING STILL THE FIRE RAGING INSIDE,
IN TRUTH TO YOURSELF YOU LIE FROM DAY TO DAY.

YOU JUST DREAM FOREVER, HOPING THE SLEEP WILL NEVER END,
AND STILL AROUND YOU THE WORLD TURNS..,
CARING LESS ABOUT ONE THAT IS NOT PARTISIPATING IN IT,
BECAUSE THAT IS THE NATURE OF IT ALL.

NATURE, OH NATURE IT IS THE KEY ISN’T IT?
WE GIVE IN TO THE MOST PRIMAL OF PLEASURES
AND YET WE FEEL SO SOPHISTICATED,

WHEN WE GET TO THE POINT, MUSTERING COURAGE
TO STARE BACK AT TRUTH’S UGLY FACE
WE WILL BE SEEING OUR OWN,
STARING BACK AT US WITH A LOOK OF DISGUST?

BUT THAT FESTERING QUESTION STILL REMAINS…
MY PURPOSE….

WHAT IS THE NATURE OF MAN?
SOME WILL SAY GOOD, MORE STILL WILL PROCLAIM EVIL
BUT ONLY IF TRUTH IS PRESENT IN THEIR COMMENT OR
EACH INDIVIDUAL’S SOUL BE TESTED AGAINST THE QUESTION..

WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU ARE ALONE??

THE NATURE OF MAN IS INHERINTLY EVIL
SO THE BOOK SAYS
AND SO I BELIEVE
BUT WHY DO I STILL QUESTION?

THE NATURE OF MAN AND PURPOSE OF MAN
IS TWO CONCEPTS ONLY RECONCILABLE WHEN BOTH CONDITIONS ARE MET.

WILL A GOOD MAN’S PURPOSE ONLY BE GOOD
AND AN EVIL MAN WILL LIVE ONLY IN EVIL?

BUT THEN IS THERE ONE THAT IS GOOD WITHOUT EVIL?
OR EVIL WITHOUT ANY GOOD?

WE ARE A BLEND OF THE TWO
AN UNESCAPEABLE FATE THAT TEARS AT OUR SOULS…

[Devine.Insanity]

what if god already came
what if its we that remain
what if these thoughts are not just thoughts but reality confined to my mind
can most people exist outside the box
or will they just be shoved into the maze
these questions unanswered infest thoughts
these poems are angles screams
living amongst mortal beings regretting there choice
the ones that fell to earth to live amongst man
enjoy the pain and suffering of earth

just a short poem hahaha

[wrathex]

Some lovely poems guys thanks.

Elucia's log

She stopped for a moment panting.
She rested, refreshed her log,
catalogued the random bytes that
had joined her since her last rest,
dedicated most of them and kept
one, as she always did.

Scanning the matrix, she calculated
the approach of the snifferbots,
mapped the rnumber, adjusted her
buffer.

" I like running anyway... .. ... ",
her whisper echoed down the path
bouncing back at her
she verified her route,
running swiftly
the stray byte by her side
and disappeared into the vast network.

by Vyg Fynbos 1997

[Domanskip]

Ode To Raptor Jesus

From Jurassic Jerusalem he steps to the fore,
He's a raptor FFS! His word is the law!
His skin is an artwork, his eyes ward off strife,
With a flash of his teeth, he grants you new life.

A menacing visage, this RJ must be,
To those that are blind, those who cannot see!
For he is the beginning, the middle and the end,
And if you insult him, your flesh shall be rend!

[Gazza_N]

Deathangststrifepainwaffles
A totally meaningful poem by Gazzemo_N

Alone I sat there in my room
Bored and attention-starved
"Mayhaps," I said, "I'll cut my wrists
with this here credit card!"

When that there credit card it failed
To make a single gash
I realized that I'd have to try
Something a lot more rash.

And thusly, "TO THE INTERNETS!"
I yelled with newfound glee
"I'll sully forth to Deviantart
And post some poetry!"

"I'll rant about my sucky life!
I'll cry about my endless strife!
I'll moan about my family!
I'll emote existentially!"

Immediately I got to work
I hacked out words with passion
Intensifying all my woes
In angsty emo-fashion

I used a lot of flow'ry words
(Meanings not known to me at all)
And metaphors that made no sense
To try to feign intelligence.

I posted it upon the 'Netz
Hoping to glean attention
Perhaps my poem would even get
An honourable mention!

I waited then for commentary
Sympathy and praise
Instead I got a single note
With anger did it blaze.

"Your poetry is made of fail
It fills my mind with ire.
If you need attention that much
Go set yourself on fire."

Hmmmmm....

[J3n0va]

My Poetry sucks but I'll still post it - All my titles are tributes to Castlevania Titles ^_^
(BTW - I tend to be VERY emo with poetry)

Reincarnation of Condolence


Seeking freedom from the life of the cursed
the formless ones raise their arms to the celestial glory
praying for release into the aetheric arms of darkness
carrying the dead to the precipice of eternity
the holy genesis light, an explosion of rage
engulfing all in it's sacred light -
the light born from from darkness by the wing of the beast
swallowing everything into the gaping void of condolence

[onona]

Ode To Raptor Jesus

From Jurassic Jerusalem he steps to the fore,
He's a raptor FFS! His word is the law!
His skin is an artwork, his eyes ward off strife,
With a flash of his teeth, he grants you new life.

A menacing visage, this RJ must be,
To those that are blind, those who cannot see!
For he is the beginning, the middle and the end,
And if you insult him, your flesh shall be rend!

That is seriously the best poem in this entire thread.

[Nandrew]

I personally enjoyed Gazza_N's more. ;)

[onona]

Gazza's poem is epic win, but Raptor Jesus owns all.

[Ajust]

Ode To Raptor Jesus

From Jurassic Jerusalem he steps to the fore,
He's a raptor FFS! His word is the law!
His skin is an artwork, his eyes ward off strife,
With a flash of his teeth, he grants you new life.

A menacing visage, this RJ must be,
To those that are blind, those who cannot see!
For he is the beginning, the middle and the end,
And if you insult him, your flesh shall be rend!

This should be published. Teh awesomeness it is.
Gazza_N gets page two :)

[Micta]

First bit of poetry I've seen on the net thats worth the read. Who knew NAGlings were so.. Not-so-emo?
Sadly, the closest I've come to poetry is random colabing with a friend in math class...
(I rate, if someone's willing to work out a melody, it could be an awesome chorus... >.>)

I'm so sick of this class,
Its a pain in my ass,
Get me out of here fast!

[Domanskip]

Wrote this sonnet for university English last year.
I hate this type of poetry so I added a special something :)
-----------------------------

You are the light that repairs my damned soul
Lost in your perfect eyes, salt-sea azure
The touch of your lips alone makes me whole
Game of the heart, your presence is my cure

Like soft glacial ice, your skin to the touch
Cut rubies are dim compared to your lips
If love makes one crippled, you are my crutch
Somniferous beauty, my soul to peace slips

Vicariously I watch you with him
My heart burns like acid, pain I can’t bear
I see him touch you, my dream becomes dim
Every second, I feel my heart tear

Read this my angel, the first of each line
And maybe, just maybe, you will be mine

EDIT: Bolded in case people missed it.

[Kensei]

Nice sonnet, Domanskip - on pure skill of getting the 1st and 3rd, 2nd and 4th lines to rhyme, they are a pain in the ass to do.
Next try a Tennyson variation and get the 1st and 4th line, 2nd and 3rd line to rhyme :D

I liked Gazza_N's poem, sounded almost like an limerick. Unfortunately the rest of them, though heartfelt, failed to strike to the core of the poem. I call 'circling' where instead of getting to the bones of the prose, it just glances off the sides... I know its not the best analogy but hey...

erm, yeah, I guess I could add one of my own (forgive me if I have posted it before)...

Save me from the silence of this moment.
Deliver me to an occupied mind.
Where I have no time to wander
in the fields of my thoughts
Keep me from this music constantly echoing.
Stop the heart from thinking.

[J3n0va]

Wrote this sonnet for university English last year.
I hate this type of poetry so I added a special something :)
-----------------------------

You are the light that repairs my damned soul
Lost in your perfect eyes, salt-sea azure
The touch of your lips alone makes me whole
Game of the heart, your presence is my cure
.

Damn =( good one

[onona]

Domanskip, I think you just won the thread.

[onona]

I gaze into your azure orbs
accidentally losing myself
the world spins around the
whole of my
fleshlight

[Domanskip]

I gaze into your azure orbs
accidentally losing myself
the world spins around the
whole of my
fleshlite

Wow I lol'ed.

[Azimuth]

O!
Somnolent dross
Dulcet as the dappled winter snows
Limpid, like lamplight
In your beady eye.

O,
That this were different
A saturnine sky weeps bloodied fever
In your dead heart.

The pain.
Is forever.

I WROTE THIS IN TWO MINUTES, BUT I THINK IT'S REALLY DEEP. LOL.

[onona]

lo, i believed
in my misguided youth
that
the crow
was a really
deep film
i cry
tears of blood
and post
my self-indulgent
odes of fail
on the
world wide web
angels
souls
torment.
forever.

[Azimuth]

pain

pain

[dislekcia]

Tread upon
my dulcet heart
with words of care
said Hermione
to Michael Knight

[Azimuth]

Lol
said KITT.

[J3n0va]

The Art of despair

A fleeting vision of beauty
Inspiring awe and despair
The whithering of art
The Beauty of destruction
a moment of greatness
an explosion of essance
Behold the magnificence
the grandeur of power
Artistic perfection
Ending in a blast of Ruin

Lol A Deidara (Naruto Character) Tribute ^_^

[dislekcia]

Feelings careen
down the highway
untying traffic
like a semi
with the ramp down
dripping wet
upon the ******* clasp
KITT get this bra off!
TURBO BOOST!

[onona]

Here is a really beautiful, poignant Cylon poem. It really conveys such a profound sense of despair over their war with the humans.

http://www.leighvanderbyl.com/temp/cylon.gif

[.dB]

lying next to your body
i feel despair crashing over me
almost like a tsunami
just without the earthquake

[Kensei]

Kensei sighed
And shook her head in disbelief
It was strange how boredom
Could make poetry comic relief

"The Internets you know
Serious business" they said
"But I want poetry!
Not the drivel I read"

[Azimuth]

Oh, for ****'s sake,
stop being such a
****ing wet blanket.

[Domanskip]

Oh, for ****'s sake,
stop being such a
****ing wet blanket.

I wept. The cadence and imagery brought tears to my eyes almost instantaneously.

[BattleMoose]

I used to write abit when i was younger, got them stashed away somewhere, havent looked at them in years. This is one of the few I can still remember. Probably wrote this bout 10 years ago or so. Warning, very emo.....

on a sad summers day
i felt a grieving sun ray
its sadness i smiled
tho the world is wild
my soul soft clay

on a joyful winter morning
i saw an old man mourning
the soul of his beloved
never to be recovered
knelt beside, cried till dawn

walking together
our souls went forever
meeting that happy july
fearing each other would die

smiling we dare
mourning the loss of something so rare
the soul of his beloved

[Visi_Ace]

I love poetry and wrote some myself. Here is one.

House battered by storms

Storms rearing
winds tearing
rain slashing
hail smashing
waves bashing
thunder crashing
darkness closing
coldness frozening.

All remain
walls sustain
rock steady
defences ready:
Love share
happiness care
warmth inside
storms subside.

[Domanskip]

Apple chapel
Pig wig
Silly billy
Look cook
Fate mate
Pebble rebel

RHYMEZ!
*Click clap*

[onona]

Our Raptor
Who art in Cretaceous Heaven
Terror-inducing be thy name.
Thy Raptordom come
Thy will be done
On the Intrawebz as it is in thy scaley Heaven.
Give us this day our daily lol,
and forgive us our fails.
As we forgive those who make lulzy Photoshops against us
and deliver us from those with no sense of humour.
For thine is the Raptordom,
the Hunger and the Furious Slaughter
for ever and ever
Amenosaurus.

[wrathex]

beautisaurus !

[J3n0va]

Our Raptor
Who art in Cretaceous Heaven
Terror-inducing be thy name.
Thy Raptordom come
Thy will be done
On the Intrawebz as it is in thy scaley Heaven.
Give us this day our daily lol,
and forgive us our fails.
As we forgive those who make lulzy Photoshops against us
and deliver us from those with no sense of humour.
For thine is the Raptordom,
the Hunger and the Furious Slaughter
for ever and ever
Amenosaurus.

You Win Thursday lolz XD

[pArkEr]

I'm sorry, I laughed so ****ing hard for that. Mind if I stick it in front of all my textbooks?

[Visi_Ace]

My kingdom

Imagine I had all the money
and diamonds in the world...
Imagine I had many servants
to serve me to my will...
Imagine I stayed every day
in a castle with high walls,
with countless priceless paintings
hanging in long halls...

Show me the man that disagree
that this is what they want to be,
that does not dream to live this way
forever without strife each day.
A perfect picture it seems to me,
a kingdom built from the money tree.
Many follow the magic words,
the perfect harmony of glamour chords.

Here I am! I disagree!
There is one thing that I want to be:
To be with you my love and life
and nourish our flame that burns alive.
I don't care for the money tree...
I don't care for the magic words,
the servants, the castle, the paintings,
for all these things I find in thee:

Where is another castle as great as your heart,
paintings more astonishing than your beauty,
magic words more entrancing than your words,
enough money to buy your love,
servants more trustworthy than each other,
diamonds glittering more than your divine eyes...
You?re my kingdom built from love,
the gift God gave me - my treasure trove.

[Domanskip]

Our Raptor
Who art in Cretaceous Heaven
Terror-inducing be thy name.
Thy Raptordom come
Thy will be done
On the Intrawebz as it is in thy scaley Heaven.
Give us this day our daily lol,
and forgive us our fails.
As we forgive those who make lulzy Photoshops against us
and deliver us from those with no sense of humour.
For thine is the Raptordom,
the Hunger and the Furious Slaughter
for ever and ever
Amenosaurus.

That.... was glorious....

[Kensei]

on a sad summers day
i felt a grieving sun ray
<rest of poem>
smiling we dare
mourning the loss of something so rare
the soul of his beloved

It was a bit emo, but it is one of the better poems I have read. It felt a bit disjointed but I do see the link of referring to the soul.



House battered by storms

Storms rearing
winds tearing
<rest of poem>
warmth inside
storms subside.

Interesting repeating sequence, some of the words seemed a bit forced (like 'frozening' :p ) But itteration is good when you are trying to get a point across - this poem reminds me of Robert Frost's poems, talking about nature without actually meaning nature :)


My kingdom

Imagine I had all the money
and diamonds in the world...

<rest of poem>

You?re my kingdom built from love,
the gift God gave me - my treasure trove.

This is beautiful :) Traditional good ol' romantic poetry about wanting only your loved one :)
Reminds me of this (http://www.james-joyce-music.com/song03_lyrics.html) song

[DukeOFprunes]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Go fist yourself

[onona]

Wait a minute... some people are actually taking this thread seriously? :O

[Domanskip]

Wait a minute... some people are actually taking this thread seriously? :O

It makes it all the more hilarious!

[Kensei]

Indeed, I am taking this thread seriously :)
As you may have gathered from my artful poem a few pages back, I actually want to read other people's poems and not the arsing around of some of the forumites.

[.dB]

We all know poetry has to be angsty and misanthropic, right?

[dislekcia]

In all seriousness, my favorite poem ever is Grasshopper, which I cannot - unfortunately - reproduce here due to it's sheer awesomeness.

[Visi_Ace]

There seems to be a lot of political threads and posts at the moment, so I thought Id post a poem I wrote a few years back.

Red, yellow, black, white, purple

Bloody footprints mark the path of victory.
The air is foul and heavy with wet paint:
red crests, flags, swords, pens and policy. The taint
of ink through history.

Crowds rejoice with lust and greed
fat dripping from their sharpened teeth.
Famined pockets filled with coins
to feed the hunger of their fear and loins.

Behind me?death?
a faint cry of agony that fades away.
Lifeless silence from my shadow?s touch:
the price to pay.

With guilty gloat a holy gesture,
I place an item of great value
upon the altar of public opinion.
Forgive me, Father this is a sin!

I hear ? (a regal grin?)
the killing field?s voice in the whisper?n wind:
?Do not fear this ancient way
for you, my liege, another term will stay?

[Xm@niac!]

Wait a minute... some people are actually taking this thread seriously? :O

Why yes, yes they are. Not me though. Not into the whole making words rhyme and using huge words with weird meanings thing.

[Kensei]

Interesting Visi_Ace, you might want to work on the pace of the poem, it is often good to keep it at a set pace. Look at something like Prayer Before Birth by Louis McNiece (even better, get someone who knows the poem to recite it to you :P )

A short one by me:
Sometimes a lion, sometimes a dove
Dedicated and loyal to those that I love
Poetic and silent,
Thoughtful and triumphant

[Visi_Ace]

Thanks for your critique Kensei. Its clear you have a talent for poetry.

[Kensei]

Thanks for your critique Kensei. Its clear you have a talent for poetry.

Umm, I try - I am no means an expert -_-* I just read a lot of poetry and get random bouts of creativity. Thanks for the comment though :)

[Goraan]

If I go to sleep bunnies will eat my brain...Bunnies

They will devour my flesh and feast on my soul

When i am asleep and my dreams become sweeter

The bunnies draw closer and their hunger deeper

The shadow is looming till the day i am free

The bunnies will continue to hunt me

They may look inocent, They may look sweet

But see them in sleep and your demise you will meet

The llamas command them to do their bidding

They send them to kill from where they are sitting

Here and there the white fur does dash

Your mind they devour in a lightning-like flash

This twisted fate makes life in vain

if i go to sleep bunnies will eat my brain...

Fear the fur...

H

[Azimuth]

I wept a little. It's clear you have a talent for poetry.

[Goraan]

Little ducky in the pond
Of little ducky I am quite fond
Feathers black and brown and green
In the sunlight a brilliant sheen
Little ducky swims around
Lives in water air and ground
Little ducky swims alone
Never afraid of the unknown
He lives his life as its been set
Wings meet air and feet get wet
Little ducky meets a mate
Little ducky procreates
No complication, no need to think
And when his life is on the blink
Little ducky simply dies
Without feeling pain, without hearing lies
H

[Azimuth]

bright mantis beetling
'pon the winter dappled twig
yearns for something more

[Goraan]

Haiku 2 U *applause*

[Azimuth]

I really wanted to capture the transient existentiality of human epiphany, through a medium of conceit.

[Goraan]

The arrow is nocked, the bowsting is drawn
The time has come for my soul's final dawn
My heart is the target, the bow is my own
This wound will go deeper than my blood and my bone
The arrow is made from words I have said
I wish it were made of something physical instead
I stand and I wait, holding my breath
Awaiting the impact, wishing for death

The dread grips me tight and refuses to yield
I've left myself open without any shield
I'm losing my grip and with it my mind
There once was a light that now I can't find
A moment of doubt as grown into fear
And through my insanity I have placed myself here
The weapon is mine, I have armed my demise
I stand in the sight of two perfect brown eyes

The shot hasn't come but when it does it won't miss
Turning now into pain something that once was just bliss
I don't know what to do while my feelings go numb
I have no choice but to wait for the arrow to come
The further I slip the closer it comes
My heart sounding fierce like the beating of drums
I might be insane and its all in my head
But then why is my heart filled with this dread?
H

Am I doing it right?

[Azimuth]

I think it needs more exploding stuff, to symbolise suffering.

[Goraan]

Of course how could I be so blind... I need to make more of an impression in my writting and explosions will do that well. However I feel this alienates the younger readers. Maybe find something deep and meaningful that could appeal more to them...something like this?:

Panda on a see-saw, swinging up and down
Always looking happy never needs to frown
Panda on a see-saw, eating some bamboo
Black and white fur, eyes a deep rich blue
Panda on a see-saw, but who’s on the other side?
It can’t be the Koala bear who’s playing on the slide
The Panda’s bouncing merrily down and off the ground
There are sounds of laughter and of cheer all the way around
On the other side of the see-saw sits, so noble and so true
The silliest of all the lot, the funny kangaroo
Laughing and smiling he and the Panda play
With all the other animals in the zoo that day
H

[onona]

Raptyr, Raptyr, burning bright,
In the manger of Jurassic night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could Photoshop clone and paint thy fearful symmetry?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their lulz-induced tears,
Did he smile his Photoshop masterpiece to see?
Did he who made the Lamb, make thee?

http://www.leighvanderbyl.com/temp/raptor3.jpg

[Domanskip]

I expressed my joy for your poem in my PM but it needs saying in a public arena that Raptor Jesus himself smiles toothily at you from above in response to your benevolent exaltation.

RALLELUJAH!

[Visi_Ace]

Onana, I ask you with tears in my eyes and in the name of Jesus Christ, why do you and Domanskip continue to posts these blasphemous posts about Jesus and why do carry on with your raptorjesus topics? You know very well that it is very provocative and I will each and everytime you do it react to it as is my duty as devoted Christian and as per instruction from the Bible.

Can you not choose any other topic than a raptorjesus?

Please stop doing it. I beg of you. If not for the sake of the Jesus and the Christians here then for your own sake.

[Domanskip]

Onana, I ask you with tears in my eyes and in the name of Jesus Christ, why do you and Domanskip continue to posts these blasphemous posts about Jesus and why do carry on with your raptorjesus topics? You know very well that it is very provocative and I will each and everytime you do it react to it as is my duty as devoted Christian and as per instruction from the Bible.

Can you not choose any other topic than a raptorjesus?

Please stop doing it. I beg of you. If not for the sake of the Jesus and the Christians here then for your own sake.

Raptor Jesus, kind and strong,
A name exalted in immortal song.
Your heart exudes a shimmering light,
That briskly shatters the starry night.

Your name is whispered from father to daughter,
Your enemies fall, like lambs to the slaughter,
Scorbid-like reflexes keep evil at bay,
You tear that sh** up, the jurassic way.

The day that I found you, was the day I found me,
When I embraced you, your love set me free.
A love not of roses, of hearts or of fun,
But a love made from lulz, Raptilla the Hun.

Brazen you stand, a beacon of hope,
With your lul-fueled logic, I believe we can cope.

RALLELUJAH

[Spindleshanks]

^ http://www.esreality.com/files/inlineimages/2008/63709-TruckOfFail.jpg

[onona]

Onana, I ask you with tears in my eyes and in the name of Jesus Christ, why do you and Domanskip continue to posts these blasphemous posts about Jesus and why do carry on with your raptorjesus topics? You know very well that it is very provocative and I will each and everytime you do it react to it as is my duty as devoted Christian and as per instruction from the Bible.

Can you not choose any other topic than a raptorjesus?

Please stop doing it. I beg of you. If not for the sake of the Jesus and the Christians here then for your own sake.

What's wrong with Raptor Jesus, Voso_Ice? Dinosaurs are rad, and so is Jesus. The two together are a super awesome combo.

Surely, the tears in your eyes are tears of laughter and joy.

Oh, and it's Raptor Jesus, not raptorjesus.

[.dB]

Raptor Jesus, kind and strong,
A name exalted in immortal song.
Your heart exudes a shimmering light,
That briskly shatters the starry night.

Your name is whispered from father to daughter,
Your enemies fall, like lambs to the slaughter,
Scorbid-like reflexes keep evil at bay,
You tear that sh** up, the jurassic way.

The day that I found you, was the day I found me,
When I embraced you, your love set me free.
A love not of roses, of hearts or of fun,
But a love made from lulz, Raptilla the Hun.

Brazen you stand, a beacon of hope,
With your lul-fueled logic, I believe we can cope.

RALLELUJAH

<3.

[Goraan]

Onana, I ask you with tears in my eyes and in the name of Jesus Christ, why do you and Domanskip continue to posts these blasphemous posts about Jesus and why do carry on with your raptorjesus topics? You know very well that it is very provocative and I will each and everytime you do it react to it as is my duty as devoted Christian and as per instruction from the Bible.

Can you not choose any other topic than a raptorjesus?

Please stop doing it. I beg of you. If not for the sake of the Jesus and the Christians here then for your own sake.

Read: http://www.southafrica.info/about/democracy/constitution.htm
Somepointless stuff about freedom of speech k and look up "artistic licence". Right...done it?
now you know why... kindly purchase a fleshlight and releave yourself of your obvious built up stress in places other than internet forums, cause me all know the internet is serious business.

If you don't like it, don't read it... easy solution.

[onona]

Mary had a little Raptor
His scales were white as snow
And everywhere that Raptor went
His flock was sure to go
They followed him to Jurassalem one day
and ****ed off all the priests
So Raptor Jesus was nailed up
and went extinct in peace.

[Kensei]

Seriously, guys? o_O

Nevermind, continue your bullying, I am tired of this crap

[wir]

Mary had a little Raptor
His scales were white as snow
And everywhere that Raptor went
His flock was sure to go
They followed him to Jurassalem one day
and ****ed off all the priests
So Raptor Jesus was nailed up
and went extinct in peace.
That is beautiful.


Seriously, guys? o_O

Nevermind, continue your bullying, I am tired of this crap
Bullying?

I see people having fun.

[.dB]

Seriously, guys? o_O

Nevermind, continue your bullying, I am tired of this crap
ok.

[Xm@niac!]

This is getting stupid. I think this thread is near its death. Nag people should live in harmony with each other :) ok that sounded stupid.

[KFC]

This is getting stupid. I think this thread is near its death. Nag people should live in harmony with each other :) ok that sounded stupid.

Thats what they said the past 4 years.

[Visi_Ace]

I am in astonishment that people can write these things about their Maker. It is so unnecessary as we were going on quite well on this new fine forum without the need of religeous debates. But I have to react to your posts and defend Gods honor (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=4&chapter=25&version=31&context=chapter), even if it costs me my place on this forum. But you knew that right, else you would not have carried on with your blasphemy. I now know what I have to do.

Onana, apart from warning you, and pointing you to the truths God mentions in his word, the Bible about the fate (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=5&chapter=28&version=31) of His enemies, I will not damn you to hell, nor bind you to anything, nor proclaim anything over you as that is up to God. What I will do is this : by the power of the Almighty God in heaven, guidance by the Holy Sprit, in the name of Jesus Christ and the protection of His blood I will pray for you everyday by name (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=47&chapter=18&verse=12&version=31&context=verse), for your salvation (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%205:24;&version=31;). I will pray to the Jesus that you make fun of and taunt. I will pray that the Holy spirit will open your eyes, for the joy in heaven would be great. Even if it takes 40 years, but I will do that, until God tells me to stop. You cannot run from God and His Holy Spirit, nor can any demon stop Him. You can know every morning when you wake up that someone prayed for you. You are lucky, that unlike the rich man (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2016:19-31;&version=31;), you still have a choice. Dont wait until it is too late.

As for the other Onana followers/supporters/protectors, I will do as Jesus said and wipe the dust off my feet (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2010;&version=31;). I wont frequent here anymore as much as I did and I close out with the following poem I wrote, and dedicate it to Onana:

Armageddon

Knight to king?s bishop two
raptorjesus - I love you!
Check.
King to queen?s bishop five.
Who is God? By my own power I thrive.
Checkmate.

This game we play - who makes the rules:
Sacrifice my bishop for time there is no more.
Sacrifice my queen, wanting to score,
take my neighbour?s queen by knight.
Birth a plan to take his castle,
kill his pawns, and claim their right.

Countless tables in neat rows,
opponents glaring, formidable foes.
Moves controlled by rhythmic clock,
they will not look although We knock.
Above the fireball of light?
driven by the King of both black and white.

[KFC]

Sounds alot like EtienneK to me.
or Liszt. Or Skurm. Someone from that band.

[Kharrak]

I see people having fun.

To be honest, it's one side of the same coin, just depends on which end you are on :P

[Q-Man]

There once was man called Visi_Ace
Who spread God's word from place to place
He was called out on his ****
Which lead to a sorta rage-quit
And now he's an even bigger disgrace.

Also, your dog's fat.

[onona]

I am in astonishment that people can write these things about their Maker. It is so unnecessary as we were going on quite well on this new fine forum without the need of religeous debates. But I have to react to your posts and defend Gods honor (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=4&chapter=25&version=31&context=chapter), even if it costs me my place on this forum. But you knew that right, else you would not have carried on with your blasphemy. I now know what I have to do.

Onana, apart from warning you, and pointing you to the truths God mentions in his word, the Bible about the fate (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=5&chapter=28&version=31) of His enemies, I will not damn you to hell, nor bind you to anything, nor proclaim anything over you as that is up to God. What I will do is this : by the power of the Almighty God in heaven, guidance by the Holy Sprit, in the name of Jesus Christ and the protection of His blood I will pray for you everyday by name (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=47&chapter=18&verse=12&version=31&context=verse), for your salvation (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%205:24;&version=31;). I will pray to the Jesus that you make fun of and taunt. I will pray that the Holy spirit will open your eyes, for the joy in heaven would be great. Even if it takes 40 years, but I will do that, until God tells me to stop. You cannot run from God and His Holy Spirit, nor can any demon stop Him. You can know every morning when you wake up that someone prayed for you. You are lucky, that unlike the rich man (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2016:19-31;&version=31;), you still have a choice. Dont wait until it is too late.

As for the other Onana followers/supporters/protectors, I will do as Jesus said and wipe the dust off my feet (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2010;&version=31;). I wont frequent here anymore as much as I did and I close out with the following poem I wrote, and dedicate it to Onana:

Armageddon

Knight to king?s bishop two
raptorjesus - I love you!
Check.
King to queen?s bishop five.
Who is God? By my own power I thrive.
Checkmate.

This game we play - who makes the rules:
Sacrifice my bishop for time there is no more.
Sacrifice my queen, wanting to score,
take my neighbour?s queen by knight.
Birth a plan to take his castle,
kill his pawns, and claim their right.

Countless tables in neat rows,
opponents glaring, formidable foes.
Moves controlled by rhythmic clock,
they will not look although We knock.
Above the fireball of light?
driven by the King of both black and white.

Lol, who's onana?

[Azimuth]

Voso_Ace, you should stop wasting your prayers on onona, and pray for all the women being raped in Sudan instead.

[MarryO+LewyG]

Onana, apart from warning you, and pointing you to the truths God mentions in his word, the Bible about the fate of His enemies, I will not damn you to hell, nor bind you to anything, nor proclaim anything over you as that is up to God. What I will do is this : by the power of the Almighty God in heaven, guidance by the Holy Sprit, in the name of Jesus Christ and the protection of His blood I will pray for you everyday by name, for your salvation. I will pray to the Jesus that you make fun of and taunt. I will pray that the Holy spirit will open your eyes, for the joy in heaven would be great. Even if it takes 40 years, but I will do that, until God tells me to stop. You cannot run from God and His Holy Spirit, nor can any demon stop Him. You can know every morning when you wake up that someone prayed for you. You are lucky, that unlike the rich man, you still have a choice. Dont wait until it is too late.


This may be the single greatest thing I have ever read on a forum.

I pray you are a troll. For all our sakes.

oh and

the power of christ compels you

[Azimuth]

It did all sound a bit like a mad exorcism, I have to say.

[onona]

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your Raptor grow?
With silver claws that have no flaws,
And large gnashing teeth all in a row.

[Ajust]

What I will do is this : by the power of the Almighty God in heaven, guidance by the Holy Sprit, in the name of Jesus Christ and the protection of His blood I will pray for you everyday by name (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=47&chapter=18&verse=12&version=31&context=verse), for your salvation (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%205:24;&version=31;). I will pray to the Jesus that you make fun of and taunt. I will pray that the Holy spirit will open your eyes, for the joy in heaven would be great. Even if it takes 40 years, but I will do that, until God tells me to stop. You cannot run from God and His Holy Spirit, nor can any demon stop Him. You can know every morning when you wake up that someone prayed for you.

40 years?!
I have a feeling you'll forget.


Lol, who's onana?

I lol'ed.


Voso_Ace, you should stop wasting your prayers on onona, and pray for all the women being raped in Sudan instead.

Add all the pre-1500's japanese kiddies,
(who died before Christianity arrived)
to the prayer-list :/

[Wight]

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your Raptor grow?
With silver claws that have no flaws,
And large gnashing teeth all in a row.

This sounds like a song from Sheryl Crow. (love is a good thing)
Especially the "Mary, Mary, quite contrary" :)

[Ajust]

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your Raptor grow?
With silver claws that have no flaws,
And large gnashing teeth all in a row.

Onona, I feel this poem lacks the "lulz" quailty of you earlier work.

[GeometriX]

I think that about does it.

Well done guys, another thread Ruined by Religious Discussion.

[Miktar]

Onana, I ask you with tears in my eyes and in the name of Jesus Christ, why do you and Domanskip continue to posts these blasphemous posts about Jesus and why do carry on with your raptorjesus topics? You know very well that it is very provocative and I will each and everytime you do it react to it as is my duty as devoted Christian and as per instruction from the Bible.

Can you not choose any other topic than a raptorjesus?

Please stop doing it. I beg of you. If not for the sake of the Jesus and the Christians here then for your own sake.

Stop telling other people what they can or cannot do. Put onona and Domanskip on your ignore list.