Siblings..

[tranquillity]

.. so I am sitting in the TV room eating while my brother is playing XBox360, and then the phone rings. He starts swearing because he knows it is my mom because he just called her and his cellphone cut off.

Brother: Why the f*ck doesn't she just f*cking phone me on my f*cking cellphone.
*stomps to get phone, me carries on typing on laptop*

Then the helper lady calls him after he is done on the phone and he gets annoyed:

Helper: Whenever you call me I come without asking questions.
Brother: I am sick and tired of this f*cking cr*ap!
Me: Sh*t man what is your problem?
Brother: Shutup.
Brother: Oh. Dad is coming at 6 to fetch us.
Me: Ok.
Brother: He is coming at 6.
Me: Okay I heard the first time.
Brother: HE IS COMING AT 6!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: OKAY!

And then he starts swearing at the game.

Who else has siblings that are like this? Btw my brother is 13 and has been like this since he was about 9 or 10, and he tends to swear at me and call me things like b*tch or wh*re for no reason.

[Gldm]

Hmm....

Have you had anyone look at him? The repeating part makes me wonder if it isn't an actual medical condition instead of just an abrasive personality. Could be a very mild instance of Tourette's Syndrome.

I know that sounds like a justification for his swearing but it's the repeating part that bothers me more. Tourette's ticks often manifest in different ways such as Echolalia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia), which this sounds like it might be.

[FoX]

he's still a little boy and thay are like that just don't mind him.OH! and u should kick his teeth in if he calls u a b*tch or wh*re for no reason. that would shut him up :)


[edit]
and no he does not have Tourette's Syndrome 13 jear olds are like that when thay play games thay phaze out and hear wat thay want, and as for the swearing mabe he should play a easyer game.

[Antharias]

Actually, I would not put it down to a medical condition but rather just normal teenage spoilt brat behavious. If you are bigger than he is and he loses it with you again, make sure you do the following in front of everybody at school. Just bitch slap him in front of everybody. He will learn quick enough where he stands.

[Gldm]

he's still a little boy and thay are like that just don't mind him.OH! and u should kick his teeth in if he calls u a b*tch or wh*re for no reason. that would shut him up :)


And this kind of **** is probably why Tourette's is linked to a high suicide rate in adolescence.

[Miktar]

he's still a little boy and thay are like that just don't mind him.OH! and u should kick his teeth in if he calls u a b*tch or wh*re for no reason. that would shut him up :)


[edit]
and no he does not have Tourette's Syndrome 13 jear olds are like that when thay play games thay phaze out and hear wat thay want, and as for the swearing mabe he should play a easyer game.


Fox9, first warning. I know you're trying to be funny, but you're not. Also, Gldm raises a valid concern, and you shouldn't discredit the idea just because you don't think it might be true.

It's not like your words hold any weight around here, you've yet to even make a name for yourself.

Try to lurk more.

[kHayne]

Eh. He's 13. Ass and being hardcore is all he's probably thinking about. It's called testosterone.
Doesnt go away either, we males just learn to hide it better as we get older.

[Miktar]

Actually, I would not put it down to a medical condition but rather just normal teenage spoilt brat behavious. If you are bigger than he is and he loses it with you again, make sure you do the following in front of everybody at school. Just bitch slap him in front of everybody. He will learn quick enough where he stands.

Excuse me?

Not to call the Fisher Price psychology card here, but in my experience doing **** like that only causes resentment, which in turn strengthens or affixes personality traits. Your negative reenforcement will do more damage than good there.

I don't recommend this course of action, people.

[Miktar]

tranquillity, please describe your parents for me, especially your father.

[Gldm]

Look it's possible he's just being a pain in the ass because he's 13 and bitchy. I'm not old enough to have forgotten those years yet.

However I don't seem to recall ever repeating a phone message to someone 3 times in a row when they told me "Ok." either. That's the part that has me considering it may be mild Tourette's or Autism.

It's easy to say "Oh he's just a spoiled kid" but how would you like it if you couldn't control something and people kept screaming at you or hitting you for it? Or if you weren't even aware you were doing it so you kept being punished for no reason?

[Q-Man]

I take it both your parents work?

That's quite a depressing story, your brother should learn some manners. Sounds like he's a spoiled little brat that has no discipline and a foul mouth. I wonder how he would react if someone ELSE called you a b*tch or a wh*re, he'd probably be defensive.

*shakes head*

Thankfully my brother is an older brother, and he put up with my **** until I grew up a little bit, and we get along great.

*edited in*

Medical condition? Well based on the information given I don't think that it can be chalked up to that, or the opposite. Maybe the guy is -trying to be annoying-. I used to do it to my brother as well. I seriously wouldn't blame a medical condition at this juncture.

[Antharias]

While Gldm makes a valid point, I would have to agree with kHayne for once. It just sounds like male ego that is acting up. I have seen it happen recently with a couple of them. They are worried that they will be shown up by anybody. It just sounds like your normal 13 year old issue to me. He is probably the bigshot at school and tries to make that felt at home yet he has not got his friends to back him up at home.

[kHayne]

On second thought, my younger sibling (sister) was much the same. Obviously being female, not quite so aggro, but she was a whiny attention-whore, and between the ages of 13 to 18, a total rebel (drugs, booze etc). I don't know why. She turned out all right in the end. Some of us I guess go through an angry phase in our teens, some don't (I was a quiet kid that simply turned into an angry adult. Heh.)

[Antharias]

Excuse me?

Not to call the Fisher Price psychology card here, but in my experience doing **** like that only causes resentment, which in turn strengthens or affixes personality traits. Your negative reenforcement will do more damage than good there.

I don't recommend this course of action, people.


Miktar, I had the complete opposite effect with my brother when he was being like that. It brought him down to earth and made him realise that he that he is not as big as he thinks he is.

[Gldm]

On second thought, my younger sibling (sister) was much the same. Obviously being female, not quite so aggro, but she was a whiny attention-whore, and between the ages of 13 to 18, a total rebel (drugs, booze etc). I don't know why. She turned out all right in the end. Some of us I guess go through an angry phase in our teens, some don't (I was a quiet kid that simply turned into an angry adult. Heh.)

Except that according to Tranquility, his brother didn't just start this at 13. He's been like this since 9 or 10. A little early for male ego and sex drive to be starting up, though as an early starter myself I won't say it's impossible.

[Miktar]

Miktar, I had the complete opposite effect with my brother when he was being like that. It brought him down to earth and made him realise that he that he is not as big as he thinks he is.

Consider yourself lucky. I have never seen that approach yield positive results, in my entire life.

[Cyberninja]

Does he act this way when your parents are around? If yes, then Gldm is right. There's probably some medical condition lurking somewhere in there and he can't help swearing. Either that or your parents have seriously spoilt him and he doesn't care about authority anymore.

[Miktar]

Medical condition? Well based on the information given I don't think that it can be chalked up to that, or the opposite. Maybe the guy is -trying to be annoying-. I used to do it to my brother as well. I seriously wouldn't blame a medical condition at this juncture.

It wasn't being blamed on it - Gldm said consideration should be given to the idea.

[Antharias]

Then I did get lucky. I am willing to admit that my suggestion is a bad one and is probably a last course to take issue.

Crazily enough, my brother got along a lot better with me after that.

Sorry, reread Gldm's comment. Noticed the last part, hence the change here. Sorry.

[wisp]

Not wanting to use "fisher price psychology" but it sounds like a lot of pent up agression and maybe stress coming out . Have you spoken to him about it maybe the problem is somewere else and he's just taking it out on you as the nearest person.

[Q-Man]

It wasn't being blamed on it - Gldm said consideration should be given to the idea.

Oh I see, my bad.

[Miktar]

Every time you make a ****-up, it's my ass on the line. Your ****-up, my ass.

;)

GODDAMIT! I AM REMOVING THE 10 CHARACTER LIMIT RIGHT NOW!

[kHayne]

Younger siblings are generally the bitchier. Combination of being more spoilt than the older kid (parents wanna 'get it right' second time around) and at the same time being lower on the family food-chain. My sis and I fought like cat and dog.
However, that kind of language and disrespect suggests, imo, a particularly severe lack of discipline.

[Antharias]

;)

GODDAMIT! I AM REMOVING THE 10 CHARACTER LIMIT RIGHT NOW!

QFE

-------------------------

Just had to test to see if he did it :P

Look. I know about the middle child syndrome issue. It has happened in my family. Youngest and eldest get the raw end of the bargain because one of the parents were neglected because they were a middle child. In my case, it all worked back to front. Middle child got everything and became egotistical and yet the other two ended up as the non-egotistical people.

[Miktar]

However, that kind of language and disrespect suggests, imo, a particularly severe lack of discipline.

Actually, I don't think anyone on these forums could even begin to guess what it might suggest : we lack far too much information. For all we know, his dad could take the belt to him regularly, or his mom is an alcoholic, or they have no parents at all, or the kid is currently struggling with bullying at school, or he has a thumbtack on his **** - who the hell knows.

Every family is a completely unique situation. My sister and I never fought, and I was the younger by 5 years. We had a 100% amicable relationship all the time.

[dammit]

If we going to look at medical conditions, has anyone considered he might have an actual hearing problem? To me it reads as if he did not hear your reply... ah well take it or leave.

@ Antharias: my older sister treated me in a similar manner (public humiliation, though not physical). In no way did that bring us any closer but certainly showed me "my place" (in her eyes).

[Antharias]

Actually, Dammit has a point. I have seen it with the hearing condition. Check that out first.

Wait, dammit (excuse pun). I think I may have failed to mention that I did not do it publically. I just punched him one day and he stopped giving the family ****. It is too much effort to go back and edit.

The public idea may be wrong. It depends on how far you take it. Violence never solves anything is a load of crap to be honest.

[Gldm]

If we going to look at medical conditions, has anyone considered he might have an actual hearing problem? To me it reads as if he did not hear your reply... ah well take it or leave.

@ Antharias: my older sister treated me in a similar manner (public humiliation, though not physical). In no way did that bring us any closer but certainly showed me "my place" (in her eyes).

I did think of a hearing problem, but he apparently uses phones often, so I think that would have been pretty apparent if it were the case. That's what made me think of Echolalia and Palilalia, not the swearing. The swearing may be incidental, or it may be another symptom. But I think the repeating is the thing that needs to be looked at.

But of course everyone will focus on the swearing INSTEAD OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

[Q-Man]

Unless he was naked. Then people would focus on that. WHY IS A 13 YEAR OLD BOY NAKED AROUND HIS SISTER etc.

wait, what?

[Antharias]

Gldm. The hearing will also affect his reaction toward authority and so forth. Don't ask me how it works as I will not even venture a guess but I have seen it.

A kid was a bully at school until somebody suggested he go and have his hearing tested. They found out he was slightly deaf or had some hearing disability. He got a hearing aid and things improved.

What Gldm suggested about Tourettes sounds correct though. The age fits for the stage that it starts showing itself. Maybe you should go and get your parents to get him checked.

[Aesir]

hmmm,*reaches for his psychology books*

Could be bipolar. Agression and such early onset are not a common symptoms of Bipolar but they do happen from time to time. Though his lack of optimism and mania may point to a mild case of cyclothymic disorder.

It could be a mood disorder, but I really think it's just adolecence stepping in. Hormones and such.

[tranquillity]

tranquillity, please describe your parents for me, especially your father.

My mother - Works a lot, comes home pretty late everyday (except weekends), when she gets angry she swears (sometimes at us). She takes it personally that we don't like the person that she married and has often threatened to send us for counselling because of this. When she is in a good mood, she is really nice, and she is funny and playful. She is a caring person but I don't understand why she doesn't consider my and my brothers feelings.

Her husband "Step thing" (my step dad) - He is a control freak and always shouts at us. He always tells us what to do and tends to call us "lazy" because my brother and I spend a lot of time in our rooms minding our own business. He compares us and the way we are to the way he was when he was younger, and he seems to think that I am irresponsible.

My father - He is outgoing and likes to go out and stuff. He can be very impatient and he swears often, even when he isn't angry. I guess my brother learned to swear from my dad because when he was younger my dad was always telling him "Say the word f*ck" and I would tell him not to teach my brother those things.


Hmm....

Have you had anyone look at him? The repeating part makes me wonder if it isn't an actual medical condition instead of just an abrasive personality. Could be a very mild instance of Tourette's Syndrome.



He was just doing that to p*ss me off because I asked him what his problem was. But you have a point there, I really think he should be checked out because he gets really violent and especially after he visits a number of certain friends (or if they come here) does he get very rude. Ever since he got his braces (about 2 weeks) he keeps swearing and cursing about them and how he DIDN'T want them but he asked my mom if they could put them in now so he can get them over and done with. When I told him this, he swore at me.


Actually, I would not put it down to a medical condition but rather just normal teenage spoilt brat behavious..

I would say that he is somewhat spoilt, and yes his behaviour can be put down to that, but I really thing that Gldm has a point there. I am older than my brother though.


he's still a little boy and thay are like that just don't mind him.OH! and u should kick his teeth in if he calls u a b*tch or wh*re for no reason. that would shut him up :)


[edit]
and no he does not have Tourette's Syndrome 13 jear olds are like that when thay play games thay phaze out and hear wat thay want, and as for the swearing mabe he should play a easyer game.

I wouldn't kick or hit him, because then he would hit me, and even though he is younger than me, his hits and punches hurt.

He was playing Need for Speed Carbon. And his opponents were beating him.


Not wanting to use "fisher price psychology" but it sounds like a lot of pent up agression and maybe stress coming out . Have you spoken to him about it maybe the problem is somewere else and he's just taking it out on you as the nearest person.

No, I'll speak to him though and see what he says.


Younger siblings are generally the bitchier. Combination of being more spoilt than the older kid (parents wanna 'get it right' second time around) and at the same time being lower on the family food-chain. My sis and I fought like cat and dog.
However, that kind of language and disrespect suggests, imo, a particularly severe lack of discipline.

You have a point there, he doesn't listen to me, and dislikes my step dad, so there is no one but my mom and the helper to put him in place. And since my mom is hardly ever around and the helper is losing her patience, he is pretty much out of control. He listens to our "real" dad though.


hmmm,*reaches for his psychology books*

Could be bipolar. Agression and such early onset are not a common symptoms of Bipolar but they do happen from time to time. Though his lack of optimism and mania may point to a mild case of cyclothymic disorder.

It could be a mood disorder, but I really think it's just adolecence stepping in. Hormones and such.

Bipolar came to my mind. And yes, I did consider hormone changes and stuff. But he has been like this from so young.

Thank you everyone for your replies, I hope I don't sound whiny and complainy (if that is even a word).. But I honestly can't take his behaviour anymore. My boyfriend also asked me if my brother is always like that, because his brother tends to be that way too.

[Miktar]

My mother - Works a lot, comes home pretty late everyday (except weekends), when she gets angry she swears (sometimes at us). She takes it personally that we don't like the person that she married and has often threatened to send us for counselling because of this. When she is in a good mood, she is really nice, and she is funny and playful. She is a caring person but I don't understand why she doesn't consider my and my brothers feelings.

Her husband "Step thing" (my step dad) - He is a control freak and always shouts at us. He always tells us what to do and tends to call us "lazy" because my brother and I spend a lot of time in our rooms minding our own business. He compares us and the way we are to the way he was when he was younger, and he seems to think that I am irresponsible.

My father - He is outgoing and likes to go out and stuff. He can be very impatient and he swears often, even when he isn't angry. I guess my brother learned to swear from my dad because when he was younger my dad was always telling him "Say the word f*ck" and I would tell him not to teach my brother those things.

Discussion over.

[kHayne]

My father - He is outgoing and likes to go out and stuff. He can be very impatient and he swears often

He listens to our "real" dad though.

1+1=loldysfunctional.

[Somebody]

Okay I had a friend who had the same problem or kinda da same he was swearing the whole time and crying and stuff if someone told him to stop but then it got better in time i'm shure itl pass

[Aesir]

Mental abuse(dare I call it that) may cause your brother to act out, accopanied with your parents divorce. If this continues your parents must consider taking him to a psychologist, it is harsh yes, but if there is an underlying illness there it WILL get worse and may lead to problems later in life.

[X-Ploding_Shoes]

I'm so glad I don't have this... I have a 24 year old sister and shes the best I could ask for...shes taken me to clubs...shes bought me booze...and she listens and cares..my lifes great on the sibling front.