G.I. Joe

[Miktar]

B+

Awesome movie, fun to watch, lots of action from start to end, delightfully cheezy.

Note: The movie is based around the Marvel comics, no the ghastly (yet entertaining) 80s cartoon.

Three word reviews:

Powerarmor-Assisted Slapstick.
Damage Per Second.
Joes Hate Polarbears

[Cleric]

Cool. I was planning on watching it with a "B-grade" film mindset, and hoping it would surprise me.

[onona]

Oh dear god, please tell me you're joking Miktar.

GI Joe is f@cking horrible.

[FEN1X]

Oh dear god, please tell me you're joking Miktar.

GI Joe is f@cking horrible.

You say that about everything. :|


Awesome, been looking forward to this. :D

[onona]

You say that about everything. :|

Uh no, I say it about films that are crap.

[dammit]

Uh no, I say it about films that are crap.

To be fair, you're a harsher critic than most.

Also, sometimes B-grade films are fun. Not deeply moving or thought provoking, but enjoyable time wasters

[onona]

Also, sometimes B-grade films are fun.

Absolutely. I enjoy a good popcorn flick (one of my favourite films so far this year was Drag Me To Hell). But I don't think this is one of them. It's profoundly stupid, conceptually as well as in execution. Lame script, fail characters, just everything about it is rubbish. There's suspension of disbelief, and then there's outright fail. This is the latter.

[dammit]

Absolutely. I enjoy a good popcorn flick (one of my favourite films so far this year was Drag Me To Hell). But I don't think this is one of them. It's profoundly stupid, conceptually as well as in execution. Lame script, fail characters, just everything about it is rubbish. There's suspension of disbelief, and then there's outright fail. This is the latter.

That bad, huh? :< Still, I'll get it when it's on dvd to see for myself.

[Miktar]

Oh dear god, please tell me you're joking Miktar.

GI Joe is f@cking horrible.

*shrugs* I don't give a rat's ass what you thought about it, I enjoyed every minute of it. I loved the effects, the cheesy yet appropriate script THAT ****ING FOLLOWS THE MARVEL COMICS ALMOST TO THE LETTER *cough*, and etc.

It was everything I expected it to be, and a bit better, actually.

Let's face it, Onona. You don't like it, yay, fine, horray - but it wasn't ****. 100 mill on opening weekend, and everyone I saw it with had tons of fun watching it.

So don't be such a snootybooty. :P

That bad, huh? :< Still, I'll get it when it's on dvd to see for myself.

Oh, just ignore Onona - she wouldn't know how to suspend disbelief if someone handed her a hydraulic-powered servo-assisted wonderbra. :P

[onona]

but it wasn't ****. 100 mill on opening weekend

That doesn't mean diddly squat. Transformers 2 probably made even more than that, and yet it was easily the worst film I've seen in the last decade. It means nothing. All it proves is that there are loads of people who pay to see anything showing (including myself in the case of the aforementioned Bay atrocity). People complain that Hollywood keeps churning out brainless crap; well the fact that people keep paying to see that brainless crap is the reason why they keep sticking to these ridiculous formulas. I'm not going to be one of those people contributing to it this time around.

Call me a snooty booty, or whatever you like. I just call it like I see it.

And as for disbelief, many of my favourite films are fantasy films and such. I have no problem suspending disbelief for films that deserve it. GI Joe is not one of those. There's a difference between, for example, a film like the new Star Trek which is set in space and therefore requires a suspension of disbelief from the outset (and totally succeeds in being kickass at it), and a film like GI Joe which takes place in the "near future" on our own planet, where things happen that totally and utterly defy reality to the point that it just insults your intelligence. Sinking ice? You'd have thought they'd be able to come up with a better climax than that.

Add to that a cast with the usual token moronic Wayans twat, TV-star-wannabe-film-star, and has-beens, and a storyline that follows the standard AMERICA SAVES THE DAY recipe, and you've got yourself a regular formulaic Hollywood summer blockbuster sh!tfest.

And on top of that, the effects work in this film is absolutely abysmal.

[dammit]

That doesn't mean diddly squat. Transformers 2 probably made even more than that, and yet it was easily the worst film I've seen in the last decade. ....

I liked Transformers 2. No, scratch that, loved Transformers 2.

But, I'll decide how I feel when I've seen GI for myself.

[Miktar]

I adored Transformers 2, it's one of my favorite movies this year, along with Star Trek, Watchmen and yes, even G-Force.

I guess we now know what movies you don't like, onona. Case closed, mystery solved. Move along people, enjoy your movies, or don't, whatever. :P

(Incidentally, I have not seen Drag Me To Hell, I have no interest in seeing it - I know it's not my type of movie. Perhaps you should consider what types of movies are not 'your' types, instead of just writing them off as **** because *you* don't like them, then move all data around to make it sound like if you don't like it, it *must* be crap that only total fools could like, yadda, etc).

My opinion on the movie has been noted, as has yours, and I'm sure the rest of the people here can make up their own minds. But for those people who know me and seem to have similar tastes, G.I. Joe was awesome.

[onona]

it *must* be crap that only total fools could like, yadda, etc).

Words into my mouth. You're putting them.

I thought the whole point of forums was to post your oppinions without people sh!ting their pants about it.

Incidentally, I can't wait to see G-Force, simply for the cute factor.

[Miktar]

and a storyline that follows the standard AMERICA SAVES THE DAY recipe, and you've got yourself a regular formulaic Hollywood summer blockbuster sh!tfest.

I do have one thing to say, though. This is like complaining that Captain America has a red-white-and-blue costume.

It's G.I. Joe. If you didn't know that AMERICA SAVES THE DAY in a movie about G. I. ****ING. JOE, then I honestly am at a loss for words.





THE ULTIMATE WEAPON OF DEMOCRACY!



The More You Know.



(and the ice sank because it had chunks of metal attached to it, I saws it with my own eyes).

As for suspension of disbelief - American Superheroes in Power Armour save the world from Supervillains with metal-melting missiles and mind-controlled armies.... What disbelief is there to suspend? This is future-history! (It's a ******* 80s comic book, you're not supposed to nitpick it's reality, you're supposed to oogle the laser pew pews and rampant destruction of Paris, silly. "It's candy - it doesn't have to have a point, that's why it's candy".

It's a live-action cartoon. A ninja, infiltrates an underground super-secret military base using a drill, steals a nanotech missile, then escapes in a jetpack. It's a cartoon.

[Miktar]

Words into my mouth. You're putting them.

I thought the whole point of forums was to post your oppinions without people sh!ting their pants about it.

Incidentally, I can't wait to see G-Force, simply for the cute factor.

Fair enough, just noting on your inflection. And yes, I posted my opinion, then you shat your panties about it, all agahast. You started it :P You could have just said 'meh, I dun like it'. ;)

As for G-Force, I saw it in 3-D. There is a scene involving fireworks, and SUV, and hamsters in hamsterballs, that I believe with all my heart, is the finest moment in cinematic history.

[Domanskip]

I adored Transformers 2, it's one of my favorite movies this year, along with Star Trek, Watchmen and yes, even G-Force.

I guess we now know what movies you don't like, onona. Case closed, mystery solved. Move along people, enjoy your movies, or don't, whatever. :P

(Incidentally, I have not seen Drag Me To Hell, I have no interest in seeing it - I know it's not my type of movie. Perhaps you should consider what types of movies are not 'your' types, instead of just writing them off as **** because *you* don't like them, then move all data around to make it sound like if you don't like it, it *must* be crap that only total fools could like, yadda, etc).

My opinion on the movie has been noted, as has yours, and I'm sure the rest of the people here can make up their own minds. But for those people who know me and seem to have similar tastes, G.I. Joe was awesome.

I haven't seen the film but in regards to movies in general, there are objective factors that are immune to personal preference. Crappy visual effects are crappy visual effects. Bad acting is bad acting. Some people have the ability to identify these objective qualities and express the facts of the matter, some aren't.

If you aren't one of these people, then sure you may enjoy the movie, but it doesn't make it a 'good' movie.

[Miktar]

The acting wasn't bad, it was passable-to-good. The acting wasn't the reason you see a movie like this anyway. The visual effects were NOT crappy. The movie achieved what it set out to do.

But don't you dare put absolutes on things like opinions about visuals and acting, Domainskip. You're smarter than that.

(Note: Some of the most 'acclaimed' 'learned' critics who apparently 'know' what it good and bad acting or visual effects, are still divided over some of the most classic moves of all times, like A Space Oddyssey 2001, A Clockwork Orange, etc. So don't presume to think that you can know, and not know, what good and bad acting is. It's all subjective.)

If I don't feel my money was wasted going to see a movie, I would think that qualifies it as a good movie in all subjective terms, in the context of it was my time and my money.

[onona]

It's G.I. Joe. If you didn't know that AMERICA SAVES THE DAY in a movie about G. I. ****ING. JOE, then I honestly am at a loss for words.

My point is that I am bored of these formulas, not that it was something about this film specifically. It would be nice to see a summer blockbuster that breaks away from this, for once.

(and the ice sank because it had chunks of metal attached to it, I saws it with my own eyes).

Yeah, comparatively tiny chunks of metal that would barely have altered the flotation capability of the much larger chunks of ice. Let's not kid ourselves here. It's a ludicrous climax. Then again, it's Stephen Sommers.

Look, as you already said, clearly you and I have very different taste in films. I don't know why you're getting so uppity about it. You already said you don't give a rat's ass about what I think, and yet you're repeatedly posting to tear my opinions apart. If you don't give a rat's ass, then ignore my posts.

[onona]

Fair enough, just noting on your inflection. And yes, I posted my opinion, then you shat your panties about it, all agahast. You started it :P You could have just said 'meh, I dun like it'. ;)

Shat my panties? You read way too much emotion into my posts. I think the entire concept of this film is hilariously terrible. Saying "meh, I dun like it" couldn't possibly have expressed what I wanted to express. You should know by now how much I enjoy a good ramble.

As for G-Force, I saw it in 3-D. There is a scene involving fireworks, and SUV, and hamsters in hamsterballs, that I believe with all my heart, is the finest moment in cinematic history.

I think they showed part of that in the trailer, and indeed it looks fantastic. I'll have to go watch it in 3D as well.

[Miktar]

Fweh, fine. When you get to **** on other people's opinions for fun, it's fair game, but when I get to have some fun with G.I. Joe images, you tell me to call it quits. Spoilsport. :P

I *don't* care what you think about the movie - if you like it or not, it's not going to change my opinion on it. I'm not tearing your opinions apart either, I'm *highlighting* what I find insanely funny about those opinions, in the context of the movie.

Granted, the 'america saves all' summer blockbuster formula IS old, but this was G. I. Joe. Nitpicking it for THAT, really struck me as just you *wanting* to hate it because you don't like it, not because it's a ****ty movie, which it's not. :P

Looking through the GI Joe comics now, I'm amazed at how remarkably /reserved/ the movie ended up being, considering how obscenely out-there the original subject matter was... Go figure.

I'm not uppity Onona, I'm procrastinating from work and having some fun. You're not the only one who can do that. ;)