Quick personal question...

[Incognito]

I know it's out of the blue but I was wondering if I could ask something and get some feedback from the citizens of Nagdom so here goes:

Recently me and my room mate (which is my cousin) had a huge fight about me missing a day at work and not telling him about it (I did report it to the boss of course so he knew).

Apparently I "lied" to him and now everytime he sees me he says he wants to puke. He avoids all contact with me and tries not to make eye contact! The other day I was complementing him on his Wolverine shirt and when I asked where he had bought it, he flat out ignored me!

Now the question I ask is this: Should I continue to try and bridge the gap between us (and for godsakes I've tried a million times) or should I just not put up with his crap anymore (which in my point of view is VERY childish on his end) and just move out? Cuz he doesn't seem interested in "getting over it".

Now bear in mind this is the first time we have ever fought like that and moving out is kinda hard because he has been my life long gaming partner and we were kinda like yin and yang you know? Like Jay and Silent Bob? Like Kyle and Stan?

Anyway sorry for springing such a question and I know I shouldn't base my decision on something like this on the opinion of strangers but I would just like to know what you guys would have done in my situation (if you haven't been in one like this already :P).

[Azimuth]

Um.

Lolwtf. Sounds like your cousin needs a fat slap. What an absurd overreaction.

[Bonezmann]

I live with my brother and the moment I get the chance I'm moving out. Family shouldn't really live together since **** like this happens.

Why would he be angry about you missing a day at work? Do you work at the same place?

If I were in your situation, I'd move the hell out since he's so damn childish about this all the time. :)

[DukeOFprunes]

Yeah that's a major overreaction. Treat it with the contempt it deserves: fling poo at him. And tell him he's being a big girly man.

[CrashHelmut]

Yeah, his reaction seems rather extreme. Perhaps he was unhappy about some things and just let it all build up and this incident happened to be the final straw?

[dammit]

uh, yeah. Move on with your life. If other people are going to meet you at your level of maturity (or inspire you to advance), then let them hang around. Otherwise, leave them behind.

[FEN1X]

Lolwut?

Um, hes not talking to you because you missed a day at your which doesnt affect him? What am I missing here?

[Incognito]

Lol at all the responses. Thanks guys (and gals), I've been thinking about moving on as well.

THE CITIZENS OF NAG:
"Brightening up your otherwise gloomy fridays since the Nag forums began"

Lolwut?

Um, hes not talking to you because you missed a day at your which doesnt affect him? What am I missing here?

I know! I was like WTF? What's the problem!?!?!?! What am I missing? But I just eventually decided screw it and frag a few players in CoD4 lol

[Graal]

You could always suck up to him and buy him a huge, fluffy pink pony. That might help.

[Bonezmann]

You could always suck up to him and buy him a huge, fluffy pink pony. That might help.

Or the CUBE cushion. :p

[Miktar]

Sounds like this has absolutely nothing to do with you missing a day at work, and everything to do with some other issue your cousin isn't telling you about. If he can't be an adult, then don't treat him like one.

[FaNbOy]

Maybe he's become bipolar? Sounds a little extreme. But, as others have said, maybe he's just been bottling everything up and this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

[Scy7he]

My philosophy is, ignore it and it will go away. :p

[Higushi]

Sounds like this has absolutely nothing to do with you missing a day at work, and everything to do with some other issue your cousin isn't telling you about. If he can't be an adult, then don't treat him like one.

Yeah, there definitely seems to be something else that was festering under the surface before your massively evil plan of missing a day of work and ruining his life came along.

I've lived with a room mate, and yeah, I know what it's like to put up with their crap for ages and then letting a small thing suddenly blow everything outta the cupboard of dislikes and irritations. Though, usually, all those things just come flowing out and they come to the surface straight away. In this case, though, it seems he's not man enough to let you know whats truly bothering him. Some people need encouragement.

Bake a cake, brew the teapot and sit down for a little man to man.

[Incognito]

Yeah, there definitely seems to be something else that was festering under the surface before your massively evil plan of missing a day of work and ruining his life came along.

I've lived with a room mate, and yeah, I know what it's like to put up with their crap for ages and then letting a small thing suddenly blow everything outta the cupboard of dislikes and irritations. Though, usually, all those things just come flowing out and they come to the surface straight away. In this case, though, it seems he's not man enough to let you know whats truly bothering him. Some people need encouragement.

Bake a cake, brew the teapot and sit down for a little man to man.

I wish I could but the arsehole is so damn stubborn he won't even acknowledge me. But I took the advice of my boss and very close friend (and it's pretty much what Miktar said as well) and decided "screw it".

He has a stressfull job (IT support for a company that's almost as bad as the one in "IT Crowd") But if that's the reason he's getting anal and then taking it out on me he can go fudge himself.

I won't be moving out though. I like where I'm living and if my cuz has a problem with that he can just suck it up and deal with it. End of story.

[KimberlyK]

Since we know nothing of his side of the story (yours is obviously going to be just a tad biased), there is nothing we can say about this, nothing we can do to really help you, and this is therefore a completely pointless thread.

One thing I will say is that you should try to talk it out with him. Obviously there's a perception from his side that you did something wrong, whereas you feel you didn't. Seems like one of you is missing something (misunderstandings like this are common, after all), so try to find out what that is, and deal with the problem directly.

Whether or not you intended to hurt/upset/betray him, the perception is obviously there. That's what you need to deal with. Stop feeling self-righteous and deal with it like an adult.

[brazed]

Since we know nothing of his side of the story (yours is obviously going to be just a tad biased), there is nothing we can say about this, nothing we can do to really help you, and this is therefore a completely pointless thread.

One thing I will say is that you should try to talk it out with him. Obviously there's a perception from his side that you did something wrong, whereas you feel you didn't. Seems like one of you is missing something (misunderstandings like this are common, after all), so try to find out what that is, and deal with the problem directly.

Whether or not you intended to hurt/upset/betray him, the perception is obviously there. That's what you need to deal with. Stop feeling self-righteous and deal with it like an adult.

How can there be anything obvious when "we know nothing of his side of the story"? And how can the cousin "obviously" percieve incognito to want to hurt/upset/betray him when "we know nothing of his side of the story". Pointless advice is pointless I guess.

..I also find it funny you calling incognito self-righteous.

Hehe, that made my day.

[KimberlyK]

How can there be anything obvious when "we know nothing of his side of the story"?

The obvious bits came from what the poster actually said, and put forward as fact. I was suggesting that we can't comment on anything that isn't objective and/or immediately presented to us.

He said that his cousin felt he had been lying to him.

And how can the cousin "obviously" percieve incognito to want to hurt/upset/betray him when "we know nothing of his side of the story"

Because he said so:

Apparently I "lied" to him and now everytime he sees me he says he wants to puke.

Pointless advice is pointless I guess.

Indeed. *snicker*

..I also find it funny you calling incognito self-righteous.

I wasn't calling him self-righteous specifically, I was saying that anyone in a confrontation like this believes themselves to be right. He admitted that he felt he hadn't done anything wrong, and instead of dealing with the issue directly (and in so doing, finding out what exactly it is that is causing the problem from the horse's mouth itself, so to speak), resorted to being patronising by complimeting the guy's shirt, or whatever.

Are you being intentionally thick, Heinz?

[Azimuth]

.... and instead of dealing with the issue directly (and in so doing, finding out what exactly it is that is causing the problem from the horse's mouth itself, so to speak), resorted to being patronising by complimeting the guy's shirt, or whatever.

Wut.

[Falafel]

Wut.

I think she's talking about passive aggresive behaviour.