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GC 2011: Hands-on with Saint’s Row: The Third

Gamescom 2011

Saint’s Row: The Third is all about having crazy good fun. If you’re the type of person who spends hours on end in sandbox games finding new and creative ways to murder the populace of whichever city you’re supposed to be saving, or exploring the various routes through the streets in a dumpster truck because it lets you smash through traffic better than anything else, then you should pay close attention to this game.

My hands-on time included a main story mission and about an hour of free-play on a small urban island within the Steelport city limits.

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Feature review: Alice: Madness Returns

American McGee’s Alice was probably the first sleeper-hit of the 2000s. It used the popular Quake III engine to deliver something that was much more of an adventure than the slew of straightforward shooters we got at the time. It also had a compelling, psychological tale to tell, which was also unusual for the time. I know a lot of people who have the fondest memories of this game and the disturbing, gothic take on the Alice in Wonderland story.

I also knew a contingent who hated it for this very reason, because they knew what kind of people it would attract. Fair enough, someone as prejudiced as me can’t call anyone out on that. Goths make me vomit in my mouth too – but to avoid these two games for that reason is to do yourself a tremendous disservice. Oh, and if you haven’t played the original, don’t worry. With every first-hand purchase of Alice: Madness Returns, you get a voucher to download an upscaled, HD, widescreen version of American McGee’s Alice for free. That’s frickin’ awesome, because I played the original, but never quite got around to finishing it. Now I can.

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Telltale’s Walking Dead carves its own path

We haven’t learned much about Telltale Games’ upcoming episodic series based on comic book/TV series The Walking Dead since its announcement. Seems the focus is squarely on Jurassic Park for the time being. We’ve now got another snippet of info that’ll be interesting to fans of the franchise: it won’t retell the story told by its counterparts.

This means that Rick Grimes is not the star of Telltale’s interactive show. Instead we’ll witness the zombie apocalypse from the perspective of Lee Everett. Lee is a criminal who runs into a spot of luck when those pesky undead politely rid him of his police escort. He’ll be joined by a seven-year old girl named Clementine. Telltale has revealed that Clementine will help keep Lee’s morality in check as the pair struggle to survive a world gone all decrepit and gross.

It seems that even though this is an all-new tale, we’ll still cross paths with familiar characters like Lilly and Glenn. While Lee and Clementine fight to escape Atlanta, Rick Grimes is battling to get into the city, so the two stories still coincide.

Review: The Tomb Raider Trilogy

Blimey, the gaming industry really does go through some unexpected changes sometimes. If you told me back in the days of the original Tomb Raider trilogy that one day Square Enix would publish it, I’d have thought you were completely off your axle. But still, stranger things have happened, I think.

Regardless of who brought it to us, The Tomb Raider Trilogy may or may not get you excited depending on what you expect from it. It’s not the original three games, but rather the trio of Tomb Raider games made by Crystal Dynamics when they took over the floundering franchise. Tomb Raider: Legend, Tomb Raider: Anniversary and Tomb Raider: Underworld – all on one disc and remastered in glorious, widescreen HD.

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Retro review: Return to Zork

For fans of the point-and-click adventure genre, playing through Return to Zork could be seen as a necessary pilgrimage – the game is practically one of the grandfathers of the genre and if you want to imbue some gaming time with a bit of historical appreciation, then the title is well worth looking into… if you are insane. Still, Return to Zork does show some of the earliest examples of when the genre began moving away from text-based inputs to one that utilised a GUI and mouse cursor. What’s more, the extensive voiceovers and digitised actors must have made this quite a game back in the day.

Despite Return to Zork being a veritable cradle of adventure gaming, it is quirky as hell and unnecessarily arbitrary in many instances. This, obviously, will not appeal to many gamers of today.

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Review: Back to the Future: Episode 2

Marty and Doc are back in the second episode of Telltale’s Back to the Future: The Game. Entitled Get Tannen!, you are indeed plunged into a tale which sends you after Hill Valley’s most notorious citizen. The game picks up exactly where the last episode ended, with Marty in peril thanks to space-time-continuum fondling. The story is infinitely more engaging than the last time round, with an actual mystery to unravel, interesting characters and less painful pacing, resulting in me becoming invested in the characters and plot.

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Telltale walks the dead

A videogame based on the The Walking Dead TV series (which is in turn based on the excellent comic book series of the same name) has been rumoured since long before the show first aired last year. Now those rumours have been made official and it turns out that Telltale Games (Strong Bad’s Cool Game for Attractive People, Tales of Monkey Island) are at the helm for this project.

Speaking with All Things Digital, Telltale’s Steve Allison said that they want to see “one million digital downloads” for this new title and believes that “The Walking Dead could become a $20 million to 30 million franchise if all goes well.” Those are some bold claims, but we hope Telltale pulls it off. Also revealed was a Telltale-developed videogame adaptation of the absolutely brilliant comic book series Fables. Both games are expected to be episodic adventures, but we’ll keep you posted as details trickle out.

Feature review: Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood

Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
Publisher: Ubisoft
Platforms: PC | PS3 | Xbox 360
Website: assassinscreed.uk.ubi.com

Compared to the wait between the releases of the original Assassin’s Creed and Assassin’s Creed 2, it seems like hardly any time has passed, and now we already have Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood to play. Maybe the fact that we had several downloadable episodes for AC2 in the interim had something to do with it.

Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood is the latest chapter in Ubisoft’s compelling sci-fi action franchise, and it was put together in a record amount of time. Now, before we go any further, let me just put some of your doubts to rest about the nature of the game. Most of the fanfare preceding its release seemed to focus on the multiplayer – so does this mean that AC:B is a multiplayer-focused kill-fest with a chapter or two of single player content tacked on for good measure?

It’s a concern that I’m sure has plagued fans of the previous games who enjoyed reclusive weeks hunting feathers and buying paintings in between less important tasks like saving the world. You’ll be relieved to know that the answer to this foreboding question is a big fat “no”. Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood has a sprawling single player experience with tons to do, some nifty improvements, and some unmissable story developments for fans to enjoy. It just happens to have interesting multiplayer modes included that seem to have grabbed more than their fair share of the limelight along the way. Okay, now that we’ve put that ugly baby to bed, let’s carry on.

The story for AC: Brotherhood picks up right where AC2 left off – and I don’t mean the next day or after some indeterminate amount of time had passed – I mean right there, literally five seconds after the end of AC2. He returns to his home at the Villa Monterriggioni, to relax for a while and plan his next move, but a surprise attack by the Borgia devastates the place, forcing Ezio and his family to flee for their lives. It turns out that letting Rodrigo Borgia live wasn’t the best idea, and now the guy is hell bent on vengeance. Making his way to Rome, Ezio teams up with an old ally, Machiavelli, who assures him that the only way to turn the tide of the struggle back in the Assassins’ favour is to liberate Rome from Borgia/Templar control. All of this is interspersed with frequent trips to reality, as Desmond comes out of the Animus (which he can now do at will) to talk to his modern-day Assassin allies about what they’re actually looking for by making him relive this chapter of his ancestor’s life.

In terms of actual gameplay, AC:B is very similar to the previous game. Having lost his home, Ezio must now work out of Rome, which has very little to offer initially. Most of the place is under Borgia control, and the shops and businesses have been shut down. Ezio must eliminate the Borgia influence in each district by killing their commanders and destroying their towers. Once that’s done, he can renovate each area, allowing business to flourish. The more he invests in each area, the more money it makes, and the more profit he receives periodically to buy new gear, weapons and art. Just like last time, Ezio can advance the story by finding and completing memories, which have bonus objectives this time, allowing Desmond to increase his synchronization with Ezio even further, leading to rewards in the game. As you might expect, there are plenty of distractions along the way, including hunting for feathers and flags, doing freelance missions and searching for six keys which will unlock the hidden armour of Romulus, the founder of Rome.

Among the new features are improved combat controls, including the ability to for Ezio to wield heavy weapons like spears, axes and two-handed swords indefinitely, and the ability to initiate a “kill streak”, where he kills a succession of enemies with singular strikes without taking a hit. Desmond can exit the Animus at any time, and there’s a lot more to do out there this time round. Desmond can also switch to the Animus desktop, where he can engage in trials that allow players to free-run, murder and fight to their heart’s content to earn the highest score in a variety of events set in Tron-like virtual worlds.

The multiplayer is easily the most interesting new addition. Unfortunately, if you were hoping to go through a co-op campaign with a group of friends, you’re likely to be disappointed. The multiplayer modes are online only (no LAN option) and strictly competitive. There are a few free-for-all and team-based multiplayer modes, but they are all variations on a similar style of play – hunting and assassinating targets. Players choose a character from a lineup of colourful murderers and then set out to complete contracts as quickly as possible. There’s nothing to stop players from killing each other to eliminate the competition, but it’s hard to tell other players apart from the crowd, and you are severely penalized for accidentally murdering innocents. It’s actually rather basic compared to the main game, but it’s strangely compelling to walk around, blending in with the crowd, looking for telltale signs of characters that are under human control and then trying to stalk them unnoticed. As players complete contracts and successfully murder each other, they’ll earn experience and level up, giving them access to new outfits and better gear for their chosen characters.

Of course, the graphics are immaculate and the sound is superb, but then that’s what we expect from Assassin’s Creed. The story is getting even more interesting and the actors do a great job of bringing it to life. With all of this, I think it’s safe to say that, whatever your primary reason for buying Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood – singe player or multiplayer – you’re going to be equally satisfied.

Tales of Monkey Island is cheap right now, you should get it

Tales of Monkey Island

If you go down to the Steam store today, you’ll notice that buying season one of Tales of Monkey Island right now will cost you less than a light lunch. $4.99 (it’s normally $34.99) will get you all five chapters of Telltale’s excellent, episodic take on Monkey Island. Go here right now to save money on great games! We’re too lazy to find out how long this sale is going to last, so move quickly, before it reverts to full price.

Review: The Silver Lining Episode 2: Two Households

Developer: Phoenix Online Studios
Publisher: Phoenix Online Studios
Platforms: PC
Website: www.tsl-game.com

I’ve written and rewritten this introduction, like, four times. Here’s a précis.

My point is, why – whyyyyy – make a 3D game when it looks totally revolting? Because this game looks totally revolting. It looks totally revolting in ways that other totally revolting things can only dream damp dreams of. It’s not that I’m a graphics slut, mind you, but rather that this game simply looks totally revolting in a way that’s so totally revolting, it’s actually distracting. I know I’m supposed to care about Alexander’s YouTube sex video controversy (or whatever royal scandal the plot is trying so desperately to impart; I stopped paying attention when the game started putting preceding King’s Quest narrative synopses into new sentences), but I just can’t stop gawping at King Graham’s grotesquely malformed limbs. It’s like watching a documentary about Chernobyl babies or something. I liked this project more when it was still a 2D AGS game.

At least they included multiple endings. Lol.

In theory, anyway. I mean, there’s not much making up for the fact that this game is just horrible, horrible, horrible. Okay, they’ve sort of improved the pathfinding algorithms from Episode 1: What Is Decreed Must Be. And… well, that’s about it, really. Pretty much everything that was wrong with that game is still wrong here, only there’s more of it this time around.

Tedious exposition? [x]

Atrocious voice work? [x]

Vapid dialogue? [x]

Characters that used to be cool, now tragically reinvented as maudlin, neurotic, and terminally insipid dorks? [x]

I can't work out where the rest of her is either.

Contrived fan service and excessive references to previous games that would be utterly inscrutable and of no value to newcomers? [x]

Drearily linear and obvious puzzle-solving with absolutely no evidence of ingenuity whatsoever, including a puzzle involving the acquisition of a map when the player apparently already has one? [x]

And as an added (un)bonus, they’ve also included the most hilariously awful running animation cycle I’ve ever seen. I won’t make a joke about the Special Olympics, because it would be insulting to the Special Olympics. But pretend I did anyway.

It's a coat of arms. Or something.

I previously summarised Episode 1 as “King’s Quest fanfiction with bad 3D graphics”, and I can’t think of a better way to describe the sequel. Where each original Sierra title introduced an entirely new adventure, the writers of these games have simply taken all that material and mashed it together – with no regard for its intended context or significance – into something you’d expect to find next to My Immortal in an Encyclopedia Dramatica entry of the worst things on the internet.


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