Hi, how are you? Actually, I’m not sure you can even read this, because you’re not plugged in. I know, I know, it’s been about seven months now since I moved into this flat, but there you are, a great black behemoth with no cables to give you life. I think they’re in a cupboard somewhere.

Behind the fish flakes, maybe.

Oh, Overmind. What happened to us? We used to be so good together. Do you remember that time you wouldn’t boot up, and I thought your hard drives had crashed or your motherboard had shorted out or a virus had replaced everything with popups and porn diallers and I’d lost my Diablo II saved games because I always overreact about everything? And it was just because I’d seated one of your RAM modules badly. You laughed so hard at my foolishness. Well, you beeped at POST like you were supposed to, but there was definitely a bit of a giggle in it. I think.

Then there was the time one of your hard drives really did crash, and I hadn’t backed it up, and you knew I hadn’t backed it up. I wonder, did you know about Xboxy then already?

I’m so sorry you had to find out like that. I guess I might’ve been a bit indiscreet, putting you next to each other on the same desk, hooking you up to the same monitor, stacking all those games in their distinctive neon green boxes right there in front of you. It was shameless and tawdry, and if I could go back and do things differently, I would. Like, I wouldn’t waste R3000 on a new video card, in a desperate and pointless attempt to rekindle the fading embers of a once torrid romance.

It must’ve been hard when I bought the big screen TV, and moved Xboxy over to it, but kept you both on the same network so you’d see all those incriminating data packets coming and going at all hours. You deserved better than that, I realise that now, but at the time, Guitar Hero II really was innovative. For whatever it’s worth, it’s not anymore, and Rock Band was better anyway. You probably don’t want to know about any of that, though, or the split-screen co-op in Gears of War…

I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I was never much good at this kind of stuff. Or waiting around for 10 GB game installations before I could play.

It’s complicated. I mean, you’re so complicated. All those extortionately expensive bits and pieces that needed upgrading every three months or so, the huge service pack and driver and patch downloads, and nothing working because of some esoteric hardware or software or personality conflict that wasn’t even listed in the known issues part of the readme file. And so many of the best games don’t even come out on PC anymore.

It’s not like I could replace you, though. Not entirely. Even the new desktop PC I got for work is called Undermind in deference to you. And because it’s a Celeron and calling it Overmind would be like an elaborate joke that it couldn’t understand anyway because it doesn’t have enough available cache memory to process the subtle algorithms of sarcasm.

But I just don’t… I just don’t love you like that anymore. You’re like the childhood friend I think of fondly, but don’t really want to have anything to do with because I don’t know how to talk to you anymore. I’ve moved on, but you’re still running Windows XP.

It’s over. It’s not me, it’s you.

Tarryn

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This is immensely important stuff, so listen up maggot. Steam is apparently getting its long-anticipated Oddworld infusion this month. Abe’s Oddysee and Abe’s Exoddus have been available on Valve’s digital distribution service for a while now, but former Xbox exclusives Oddworld: Munch’s Oddysee and Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath will soon join them as part of the Oddboxx collection.

PlayStation 3 owners will get an updated, HD version of Stranger’s Wrath in April next year. It’s not clear yet if the upcoming Steam version will get the same type of HD makeover that the PS3 version is receiving, or if it’ll just be a straight port of the Xbox original, but either way - this is exciting news. Steam is making it increasingly difficult for me to afford food every month.

Expect more details soon.

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Please note: NAG does not condone the insulting of mothers on the Internet. It's incredibly distasteful. LOL.

It’s frikkin’ Friday! You are not ready for Friday’s awesome. Chances are you’re going to enjoy some quality gaming this weekend, some of which may involve wading into online waters. Having the size and effectiveness of your reproductive organs brought into question is a pretty common event in online gaming – regardless of what platform you’re gaming on. All of us here at the NAG office have dished out and taken our fair share of smacktalk, but hilarious as it is most of the time, it does kinda distract us from doing what we came online to do in the first place: kill dudes and have fun.

As part of their Immersion series, the folks at Rooster Teeth found themselves a US Special Forces veteran and had him shoot some bullets down a firing range in the name of science and truth. The first ten shots were fired with zero distractions. For the next ten though, they unleashed the Mega 64 crew on the trained soldier. I’m not really sure insulting a man wielding a high-powered rifle is smart, but it’s definitely entertaining.

Insults are hurled, birds are flipped and LOLs are had. Here’s the video so you can see for yourself the effect of smacktalk on a US Special Forces veteran:

Seriously kids, try and keep the online interactions civil. And please – keep your opponent’s mom out of it. Mr. T will set you straight:

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See that image above? That image is flashed for a very brief moment during a commercial for this year’s Spike VGAs. Obviously this means something is happening involving zombies, which obviously means we are obviously excited.

The commercial also briefly flashes a QR code. The code leads to this teaser site, containing the words “Look Closer” and “Murder.” Any guesses as to what this all means? A new Left 4 Dead? A free pet zombie with every McDonald’s Happy Meal? Yet another game featuring brain munchers? So many possibilities!

Here’s that commercial, in case you’re interested:

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Via gamerant.com:

At their ‘Vision’ press conference earlier today, Level 5 finally announced the title that DS gamers across the globe have been waiting for: a collaboration between the two strongest characters on the system, Professor Layton Vs Phoenix Wright, coming to a Nintendo 3DS near you sometime in the future.

[Read the rest of their article]

Written by Shu Takumi, writer of the original Ace Attorney titles, Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright will see the two characters finding themselves in the medieval Labyrinth City, a place where “reality and illusions are intertwined.” In a story that sounds positively Layton-esque, Labyrinth City is a place where magic is real and where witches exist, but hide in the shadows.

Video? Sure!

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“Maintaining a stable, safe, and secure online-gaming experience for legitimate players is a top priority for us, and we’ll be continuing to keep watch on Battle.net and take action as needed.”

For those individuals among you who seem to think that you’re “entitled” to do as you please online with the games you pay for, keep in mind that when you signed up for your Battle.net account you agreed to Blizzard’s terms which explicitly state that you will be banned if you choose to walk the path of the cheater. Just sayin’.

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2009 has been a huge year for gaming. We’ve seen the release of some highly anticipated sequels, big movements in the rhythm scene, truly modern approaches to some classic RPG elements and a zombie around almost every corner. As the year draws to a close, we look back at some of the highlights of the year, and present you with the NAG Online Game of the Year, the runners-up, and a special mention or two — as voted for by our very own forum members.

The contenders

Batman: Arkham Asylum

Everyone wants to be a super-hero, and what better hero than the dark knight himself? Batman: Arkham Asylum took the gaming market by surprise by turning out to actually be pretty good, and not just a shameless licence cash-in. That licence has certainly seen its share of video games, but it seems that developer Rocksteady Studios had a few new plans for the bat in black.

Borderlands

“Diablo with Guns” is a phrase often used to describe Borderlands. This first-person RPG/shooter began its development life as just another brown-on-brown FPS with a few interesting bits thrown in, but over its course of development turned into one of the most interesting, different and just-plain-cool titles to grace our shooter shelf.

Dragon Age: Origins

Dubbed by many as the spiritual successor to Baldur’s Gate, Dragon Age: Origins is the transition of the classic RPG into the modern times. The result is a game that not only packs in the game time (with many players experiencing 80+ hours in a single campaign), but does so with a careful blend of safe familiarity and polish that can only come from over a decade of developing in the genre.

Modern Warfare 2

Despite its rocky start, especially on the PC, Infinity Ward’s latest in the Call of Duty series has proven that a solid storyline will win people’s hearts no matter the length of the campaign. Thankfully, once the single player campaign is over (in a few hours), there’s plenty to keep the multiplayer gamers occupied, if you can handle a few dropped games every now and then

Street Fighter IV

The return to form: Street Fighter IV has once again convinced the fighting crowd that 2D is still well-suited to the genre. While it’s been out in Japan for over a year now, this is still very much a 2009 title for us poor Westerners.

Tekken 6

The other side of the coin: Tekken 6 continues to tighten its 15 year-old 3D fighting mechanics and throws eight new combatants into the mix for good measure. With Jin Kazama now in charge of the Mishima Zaibatsu, he’s declared war against  the nations of the world. Someone needs to stop him and, apparently, the only way to accomplish that is through a series of fist-fights.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

PS3 owners knew that it would take a lot to trump the success that was Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, but Among Thieves managed to do so with ease. Scoring full marks from dozens of publications (and not doing too badly in our own magazine), this game has shown that the third-person shooter/platformer still has a lot of room left for innovation, a fantastic story and unbelievable visuals.

Click on to see which titles came out on top…

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Pure awesome, really. Found over at Geekologie, who found it elsewhere, as these things tend to happen on the internet: this amazing Big Daddy/Little Sister cosplay was taken at the Georgia Aquarium by Harrison Krix, who made the Big Daddy suit and Little Sister ADAM syringe. He’s also IN the suit, and that’s his fiancee as the Little Sister. Creepy.

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In Wired, an article written by Brandon Keim looks at what wacky stuff neuroscientist David Tank has been up to. As a Princeton neuroscientist, Tank wanted to study individual neurons in a mouse’s hippocamus as it moves. But the mouse actually moving around made it difficult to take accurate readings, since the little buggers jump around a lot. So, he locked the mouse’s head into a kind of metal helmet, placed it on a giant trackball, and hooked it up to a maze built in Quake 2.

Studying individual neurons has been possible in cell cultures, but brains in a dish behave different than real, living brains. Tracking individual neurons in moving animals has been impossible.

“The neurons move back and forth while you’re trying to measure things,” said Tank. “So we developed a way to keep the head fixed in space, but still have mice perform behaviors that are usually studied in mice running through a maze.”

Tank’s team designed an apparatus in which a mouse, its head firmly held in a metal helmet, walks on the surface of a styrofoam ball. The ball is kept aloft by a jet of air, so that it functions like a multidirectional treadmill. Around it are sensors taken from optical computer mice, which read the ball’s movement as the mouse runs.

Those readings were the input for the researchers’ virtual reality software — a modified version of the open source Quake 2 videogame engine, tweaked to project an image on a screen surrounding the mouse. Tank called it “a mini-IMAX theater.”

We think he should let the mouse join an online server, and have it’s tail trigger shooting rockets. You can see a video of the mouse on the ball, here.

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This is your rifle, this is your gun. It's both for pleasure, and for fun!

You can check out how Harrison Krix made it on his blog, which also shows his recreation of the BioShock needle, and an amazing recreation of the Portal Gun, both pictured below.

This, your little sister in a torn-up Orphan Annie costume, some pale makeup, and you're good to go!

We've made a note here: huge success!

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Mr. T will be saving Will Wright from Nazis. Seriously.

Coming to PC, PS3 and 360 and based on the range of graphic novels about Mr. T, the game about Mr. T isn’t all just about Mr. T. It even has Sims-creator Will Wright! The game’s developer, ZootFly, quits the jibba-jabba and says:

With Prison Break [The Game] nearing completion, ZootFly today announced it secured the official Mr. T graphic novel license from Mohawk Media. ZootFly will develop a series of games packed with the trademark over-the-top adrenaline-pumping action of Mr. T.

The games will feature knuckle-whitening action-adventure, furious brawler combat, gravity-defying platforming, and environmental puzzles.

The first game will see Mr. T take on Nazis and their gigantic machines in the varied universe of South American rain forests, lost ancient cities, industrial complexes and contemporary military installations.

Along with Mr. T and other characters from the graphic novel, the game will feature none other than Will Wright. In this universe, Will Wright is not a top-notch game designer but a top-notch American geneticist who was kidnapped and coerced to work on a diabolic plan. Mr. T and Will Wright will join forces to annihilate the Nazis and their hardware.

Important parts have been bolded. We’ve died and gone to cheese-ball heaven, we’re sure of it. So just to get this straight: we’re going to get to play Mr. T, fighting Nazis and their warmachines, trying to save Will Wright from the Third Reich, and there’s even gravity-defying platforming? This is Gaming Nobel Prize material right here. If this game does well, perhaps we will finally get that Automan game we’ve been dreaming about.

Oh, and there’s even a computer-generated movie about Mr. T coming out sometime soon.

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First – the numbers: This year we’ll be running the same format as last year, with a total of 1800 gamers sprawled between the mezzanine level and the animal cage on the main floor, but with a twist. AGASA and Telkom have taken control over a secret basement level of the dome and reserved 500 additional seats for their own nefarious purposes. There they will run a series of tournaments and competitions for SA’s gaming l33t.

Right, so you want in but keep asking yourself “But Geoff, how do I get in?” What you need is a ticket. These mystical pieces of paper go on sale this Saturday (August the 1^st) at Computicket for the price of R250 – which includes entrance to the main expo event. I won’t harp on too much about what you need to bring, or all the rules and regulations, but please make sure that your power cables have a red plug attached to them. No red plug means no power, and a powerless PC is about as exciting as dry toast. Just to be safe, don’t bank on there being any cables for sale at the venue: make sure you’ve sorted yourself out first by grabbing one from any decent hardware or department store. If you’ve got any other concerns, please read the FAQ on our forums. Last year, the tickets sold out in the first two weeks, so make sure you’re on the ball this year. If you somehow manage to miss out, however, you might still be able to snag a spot in the AGASA LAN if you or your clan are deemed worthy enough.

“Thanks Geoff, you’re so handsome and clever, but what can I expect to find at the LAN?” I hear you ask. As always, Vaalhooligan Crew (VC) will be in charge of the whole process, with hardware sponsored by D-Link and Intel, but that’s not what you’re asking, is it? No, you’re interested in the hundreds, if not thousands, of games that will be played during this 54 hour marathon, and that’s perfectly reasonable. The short answer is, we don’t know exactly what will be played, but you can expect pretty much every mainstream title to at least make an appearance. Call of Duty 4 and 5, Crysis, Team Fortress 2, Unreal Tournament 3, Quake 3, Counter-Strike and Half-Life 2, Demigod, Warcraft III and DotA, Red Alert 3, Command and Conquer 3, Starcraft and tons more. There will also be chill areas, food available for purchase and, of course, 1799 other gamers to chat to. Servers will be a mix of official, VC-hosted machines and private games between players, to ensure there’s a game to play even deep into the wee morning hours. There will also be a number of semi-official competitions running during the event. Keep an eye on the rAge section of the NAG forums, or look out for further information at the event.

Even if you’ve never been to rAge, there’s no better way to enjoy the show than from within a pile of like-minded individuals who want nothing more from their weekend than to play computer games.

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Let’s start with the new multiplayer maps. Nightfire is set in Berlin, which has been ravaged by the evils of war. The map takes place at night and the only light is provided by the fires burning throughout. The map has many buildings to hide (read: camp) in, but the streets of the city provide plenty of room for close-quarter skirmishes and thrilling firefights. Beware of campers hiding in their hidey-holes: the limited light sources in Nightfire make it a haven for those who like to hide in the darkest recesses to get their kills. The second map, Knee Deep, takes place in the Pacific Theatre. Expect to see more of the jungle that is so prominent in the other Japanese maps featured in the game. This map also offers numerous places to hide, but at the same time there is limited visibility thanks to copious amounts of foliage, so sniping is nerfed. The final multiplayer map is Station, which (who would’ve guessed) takes place in a bombed-out subway station. This map is essentially one long firing lane that snipers will appreciate (although the debris can hurt visibility), but it has a lot of potential for some heated CTF matches.

Right, let’s get down to what you’re all here for: Verrückt. Simply put – it’s amazing and greatly expands on what made the original zombie map, Nacht der Untoten, so popular and exciting. For those of you who don’t know, the Nazi Zombie mode in CoD: WaW sees players locked in a building which is being assaulted by horrendous numbers of Undead. Players have to keep the barricades on the windows repaired (along with some walls that the buggers can break through) while taking down the zombies. Players earn cash (or points) for rebuilding barricades that have been torn down, and for killing zombies. The money can be used to buy new weapons, open up new areas of the building, or to play the “magic box”, which essentially randomly picks a weapon that players can either take or leave in the box. The objective is to survive as many waves of zombies as possible, and the game is divided into rounds, with breaks in between during which players can restock their supplies. Players also have the ability to revive fallen teammates, but it takes time, leaving the person performing the heroics at risk. Occasionally, the zombies that are killed will drop power-ups in the form of a nuke (which obliterates any nearby zombies when it goes off), Double Points (players earn twice as much cash), Insta-Kill and Max Ammo (both of which are self-explanatory).

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Historically, migration between genres has been more or less synonymous with misadventure. Much like Paris Hilton’s music career, for example, it’s generally better to play to your strengths than risk it all with an insipid, insignificant fumble in some other direction. Of course, one might argue that whatever it was she was doing before was so much insipid, insignificant rubbish anyway, but that’s somewhat beyond the scope of this particular review. In the meantime, however, could the genre-defining console shooter Halo transform itself into a real-time strategy game without choking to death on the cocoon of its own outrageous daring?

RO! CHAM! BEAU! Wait. Is the plasma beam a rock, paper, or pair of scissors?

In fact, Bungie’s franchise was originally conceived as an RTS, before a series of important board meetings over at Microsoft HQ decided it would be a super successful launch title for the Xbox and – crucially – an FPS instead. So when Ensemble Studios got bored of their Age of Empires series, they swapped the Halo RTS licence with Microsoft for a nice cake (actual events have been simplified for dramatic impact).

With an entire narrative oeuvre conveniently ready-made, Ensemble could sink all their development cash instead into making an RTS that actually worked on a console – an accomplishment thus far about as accomplished as genre migration. Five years and several tens of millions of dollars later, and Ensemble rushed out of their offices triumphantly brandishing what is pretty much a tweaked Battle for Middle Earth clone with marines and tanks instead of all that silly elf stuff, and some cool controller support.

Paced over 15 missions, the game’s campaign sees you taking control of a United Nations Space Command investigation into the enemy Covenant’s business on Harvest, a former human colony planet. The story isn’t especially clever or profound, but the scenarios present an engaging compilation of objectives, mostly avoiding any drab “build stuff, kill stuff, repeat” gameplay. While not playable in campaign mode, the Covenant (and, perhaps more importantly, the awesome Scarab mega-tank-thing) are available in all single- and multiplayer skirmish games. Each faction features its own gameplay idiosyncrasies – where the Covenant has hero units out in the field, for example, the UNSC employs an off-screen orbital battle cruiser for special attacks and other resources. Inevitable disagreements between the two mobs are resolved with a rock-paper-scissors paradigm – vehicles beat infantry, infantry beat aircraft, and aircraft beat vehicles. Well, until UNSC players discover that their Spartan units can hijack enemy vehicles and aircraft, anyway, and Covenant opponents stop manufacturing new rides for their enemies and overwhelm them with five metric tons of Brutes instead.

“We're just taking a look around”

All this complicated annihilation stuff is mapped to the Xbox 360′s controller with an unprecedented economy and elegance. Primary selections are all available through the A button – a single tap selects the squad, a double tap selects all squads of that type, and holding it down offers a paintbrush-style cursor for finer selections. Moving and attacking are assigned to the X button, while the Y button controls unit special attacks where applicable. Marines, for example, will lob grenades at their target. Base and alert cycling sit on the D-pad, while build options are managed in a radial menu. You’ll be hurling fully upgraded Hornets at your enemies with deadly efficiency before your PC Defence Force cousin can say, “You can’t do that on a console”.
While Halo Wars might be a bit on the simple side for snobby SupCom veterans, it’s big buckets of fun stuff for anyone looking to score 500+ Gamerscore in a single weekend. And you totally get your own Scarab.

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It’s difficult to review Watchmen without resorting to “Just go out and buy it right now”, but keep those words on your mind at all times while reading this. Watchmen is the product of the legendary Andy Moore’s writing and Dave Gibbons’s artwork. Both are veterans in their fields and responsible for titles such as V for Vendetta, From Hell, 2000AD and Green Lantern. Originally published in 1986, the book follows the story of a group of superheroes in an alternate history (then contemporary) as they attempt to uncover the mystery behind a series of deaths within their own ranks, all while exploring the sordid history (and sometimes future) that brought the unlikely group together.

Moore’s detailed story is a masterpiece – his writing is evocative of pain and loss, bringing the reader directly in line with the mixed feelings of sorrow and hope throughout the book. Gibbons’s drawing is an extension of the writing, enhancing every frame with emotion and passion while still staying true to traditional ’80s comic book styles and palettes. If you’re still not sure whether you need to own this book, let me make it simple for you – just go out and buy it right now.

This article is a re-run from NAG Magazine October 2008.

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Those of you who played through the first F.E.A.R. will remember that earth-shattering explosion that took place at the end of the game. F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin begins a short while before that explosion rocks the F.E.A.R. universe, placing you in the shoes of Sergeant Michael Becket (the Point Man, the protagonist from the original, doesn’t make an appearance in this new title). You’re a member of a special forces squad that has been sent in to retrieve one Genevieve Aristide, who some will remember as having played a major role (even though you never got a chance to see or meet her) in the whole “we’re Armacham and we’re going to kill your dudes” business that took place in the first game. Armacham Technology Corporation started all that trouble with Alma, and it’s up to you to try to clean up their mess, even if that means creating an even bigger mess in the process.

Flames = Fun

Project Origin’s game dynamic consists of two main elements: intense action and wet-pants-inducing horror, the latter being provided mostly by that creepy little girl/young woman/old hag, Alma. The head honchos over at Armacham planned to use her psychic abilities (and those that they could harvest from her to create new psychic commanders) to telepathically control their new breed of super soldiers, the Replica. In so doing they created the most powerful psychic known to the F.E.A.R. universe. Understandably, she’s angry about the whole situation. In Project Origin, Alma is her usual self: she appears and disappears at random, she turns people she doesn’t deem worthy of her presence into nothing but skeletal remains and, this time around, she’s chosen Becket to get all touchy-feely with. This is bad, because in general you don’t really want someone like Alma to get close enough to touch you. Alma isn’t the only one providing the frights this time around – she’s got a few friends joining her. Mutants that are the result of Armacham experiments, undead puppet masters who control the dead around them to give you a hard time, and the ghosts of fallen enemies all serve to keep your heart racing.

The explosions in the game are meaty and send objects flying (along with the limbs of unfortunate enemies)

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The Divine Comedy, written early in the 14th century by Dante Alighieri, is an epic poem detailing a medieval view of the afterlife. Inferno, the first part of this work, describes the horrifying nature of hell and the punishment that sinners can expect. EA Redwood Shores (the same developers that brought us Dead Space) are crafting a third-person action adventure based on this rich material for a game system near you.

While there are some concerns about a modern gore-soaked interpretation of a literary masterpiece, the descriptive anatomy of the poem lends itself very well to game structure. Dante described hell as nine circles nested within one another – each has a distinct atmosphere and character as well as colourful inhabitants and chilling antagonists. These correlate nicely with levels, monsters and bosses. Incorporate the often grim and visceral visions from Dante’s mind such as rivers of boiling blood, deserts of flaming sand and whip-wielding demons, and you have a lot of material for a potentially excellent game.

Concept art for Limbo

You play the role of Dante himself as he seeks to rescue his fiancée’s innocent soul from the clutches of Lucifer, redeeming his own sins in the process. And you are not alone in your quest – Virgil, a Roman poet, will be your guide through the frightening landscape of the underworld.

You will battle your way downwards armed with a supernatural scythe and a holy cross, permitting you to make physical as well as magical attacks – gameplay is a lot like God of War, featuring similar types of attacks, combos, footwork, and quick time events (QTEs). As you descend, the levels of hell correspond to specific sins in increasing order of severity – limbo (for the unbaptised), lust, gluttony, avarice and wastefulness, wrath and sloth, heresy, violence, fraudulence, and finally treachery. Each circle provides challenges and inflicts punishment suiting the wickedness of the damned souls they contain. Many of these souls will beg for your assistance, and will present you with the quandary of either punishing or attempting to absolve them – the morality of your choices here will earn you upgraded attacks and abilities.

The Holy Cross in action

Although much of the original material will be included, a good deal of artistic license is used to make things entertaining. The poem focuses on observation and narration – there is little action and Dante is seldom at risk, never coming to harm. This would make for a rather dull gaming experience so the plentiful denizens are unleashed to do their worst to the hero. Major characters and level guardians from the original work will make an appearance, but to keep things fresh and varied there will be many new foes to ensure Dante becomes a permanent resident in the afterlife.

While an ambitious undertaking that is still a year away, Dante’s Inferno has a great deal of potential for an excellent story and satisfying combat in a fearsome, well-realised realm.

One of the many delightful residents of Hell

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