The Weekend Distraction™ is late this week because Miktar, who suffers from a disability, wanted to join the other kids from his schools football team. During an initiation rite, Miktar was swept away through a whirlpool to the land of Tao. There he was hunted by the evil Lord Komodo, who desired Miktar as a key to enter the real world. Miktar was rescued by the protectors of Tao, five humanoid kangaroos, each embued with the five elements and virtues. Miktar learned a valuable lesson while saving the land of Tao.

It was pretty amazing, like, ninja-kangaroos and stuff. Wish you could have seen it.

It was pretty amazing, like, ninja-kangaroos and stuff. Wish you could have seen it.

So if you’re looking for some distraction, try this helpful list:

Crush the Castle: Using your trusty trebuchet, you must launch your balls at the castle to crush it, and the people inside. You have three steel balls per launch, which reminds me of a joke. What comes from outer-space and has three balls? E. T. The Extra Testicle.

Higher!: Collect balloons, attach them to your house and then fly high up into the sky so you can put the spirit of your dead wife at ease because you finally went to that special place in the mountains you’d always dreamed about. Or was that the movie Up? Either way, click on bombs to destroy them or they’ll destroy your hopes and dreams. Bombs do that.

Plants Vs. Zombies: Have you played this Lawn Defence yet? Zombies come from the right, and you defend from the left using flowers and stuff. It’s like the power of Hippies Vs. the horror of the Undead. Except your plants like, shoot bullets, or seeds, or whatever. It’s good stuff man, try it.

Fragger: If you just feel like blowing stuff up, try this game that involves throwing grenades at people. It’s a puzzler, kind of. Not very hard, but a good way to pass the time.

More stuff like this: