Here’s Hitman: Absolution’s E3 trailer

It’s totally weird, and that’s not because it’s an “E3 Trailer” that’s been released prior to E3 actually starting (that’s probably a good move on Square Enix’s behalf because it’s pretty much grabbed people’s attention before the noise of E3 drowns out a lot of PR); it’s weird because it features some left-field content.

In this cinematic trailer for Hitman: Absolution, everyone’s favourite bald assassin gets attacked by a gang of spandex-clad fetish nuns. The trailer is titled “Attack of the Saints” so we can assume that said gang of spandex-clad fetish nuns is in fact known as The Saints. There’s probably no relation to THQ and Volition’s Third Street Saints gang because lawsuits.

Needless to say, there’s no way of telling exactly what’s going on in this trailer other than the fact that there’s a serious focus on sex-sells marketing. Before you all get uppity about how this taints the reputation of the Hitman series, don’t forget that T&A is no stranger to the franchise. Remember that mission in Hitman: Bloodmoney that was set in a club loaded with half-naked girls dressed as angels? Yeah, the Hitman series is so pure and virginal. Oh wait! That totally explains the nun thing; pure and virginal. Hit the jump; watch spandex explode.


There are rumours swirling that the trailer is meant to hint at an as yet unannounced multiplayer component for Hitman: Absolution. If this trailer is anything to go by, then perhaps this would be one multiplayer mode in which a player takes on the role of Agent 47, and everyone else has to work together (as spandex-clad fetish nuns) to take him out. Obviously this multiplayer mode would be called Habitual Manslaughter. Ha! Yeah, I told you  I’d be here all week.