GTA Online launch a (predictable) catastrophe

The first rule of major online game launches is that everything will break. So it was, so it is, and so it always will be – you know it’s true because even the Aztecs did paintings about it, and the Aztecs knew their stuff.

The infamous Azcahluatlpotzalcohtlan Online launch of 1427.

Yesterday’s launch of GTA Online was, of course, no exception to this cosmically ineffable way-of-things, and pretty much immediately after the servers went online, they went mostly offline again. The happy news is that Rockstar is working to resolve the problems, and they’ve even posted a status page over on their official website so everybody can keep updated on what’s happening and keep their angry YouTube monologues about it relevant.

According to the page, problems already identified and scheduled for fixing include:

  • Occasional “Rockstar Cloud Servers Unavailable” error message
  • Freezing sometimes while loading into first race in GTAO with “waiting for other players” on the screen
  • Intermittent “Failed to Host a GTA Online Session” error messages
  • Race Corona (start area, marker) occasionally not showing up for first race
  • Errors saying “Timed out when matchmaking for a compatible GTA Online Session to join”
  • Occasional errors about jobs failing to start or load
  • General issues with the Social Club site and Social Club features (slow loading, failed logins, emails not arriving, etc). For more information on Social Club status, please see:
  • Misc. network and server-related error messages, disconnections, or cloud server errors
  • Errors saying “Mission Failed” as soon as the mission begins during a session

Weirdly, there’s no mention of the single-player save file corruption issue that I’ve seen a lot of people complaining about but that’s just a good reason to keep a backup. You keep a backup anyway, though, obviously. That’s like the first rule of games.