Here’s a new, utterly HOPELESS Dark Souls II trailer


Oh gosh, but you are all going to die. You are all going to die over and over again. I’m saying “you are” and not “we are” because there’s no way in hell I’m going to attempt to play another one of these games again. That conviction is somewhat double-edged in that I can rest assured that my console controllers will last a few months longer, but at the same time I so desperately want to become as obsessed with this series as all of its masochistic and slightly unhinged fans already are.

Namco Bandai has unleashed this latest trailer for Dark Souls II, and it’s subtitled “Cursed”. It does a wonderful job of highlighting just how many monsters are going to rip you apart around 900 times before you eventually figure out how to hit them. Then there’s a further 900 deaths before you land enough hits to kill each monster. Based on absolutely zero knowledge of this, there are probably hundreds of monster encounters throughout the game, and at 1, 800 deaths per encounter, you can look forward to dying… at least seven trillion times. Hooray!

Hit the jump for the trailer. The game is out on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 on 14 March. It’ll hit PC “shortly after console release”.