Sad news, everyone: yesterday’s online hysteria was (unsurprisingly) all for naught. Valve’s potentially exciting presentation had many speculating that the secretive developer would make a surprise game reveal or at least allude to the return of a certain crowbar-wielding physicist. This was thanks to the presentation’s timing: 3PM on the third day of the third month. The presentation was, in fact, led by Valve engineer Sergiy Migdalskiy, who went to great lengths to explain physics optimization for game developers. “Topics include numerical integration, contact manifolds, destruction, solvers, networking, and optimization,” was how the presentation was described.