You know what, though? Screw it, let’s go to space. Seriously, you guys. I think the whole Earth thing has been an, uh, intriguing experiment, but it’s over now. It’s 30 degrees in Cape Town today, and it’s not even November, and we haven’t managed to invent calorie-free ice-cream. What’s the point anymore?
This new Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare live action trailer knows what’s up. Featuring cameos by Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps and comedy actor Danny McBride, and the ’80s glamtrash anthem Welcome to the Jungle by Guns ‘n’ Roses, the trailer dumps an increasingly despondent reality for the much more entertaining possibilities of interstellar war.
Although, I mean, space isn’t really a jungle, is it? Although, if space isn’t a jungle, where do space lizards come from? And everybody knows space lizards are totally real. There’s one running for president in the US right now. Maybe space is a jungle.
SPACE IS A JUNGLE.