That’s it, you guys. The best headline I’m ever going to write. I might as well quit now, but in the meantime, last week’s Mass Effect: Andromeda update – the one that fixes the murder doll faces – apparently also included a Denuvo DRM update that locks players with illegitimate copies out of this and future updates to the game. Yo ho ho, you got jolly rogered.

Although the game was cracked in only 10 days, it turns out that Mass Effect: Andromeda shipped with an outdated version of Denuvo’s anti-tamper tech that was already compromised. As DSOGaming points out, the update notes didn’t even mention it, but new strings in the game’s executable files are found only in games using Denuvo’s most recent, and as yet uncompromised, release, including 2Dark, Dead Rising 4, and Nier: Automata.

BioWare has promised to drop a series of updates for Mass Effect: Andromeda over the next three months or so, sorting out some of its most controversial problems.

“We want to hear from you about your experiences, both what you love about the game and what you’d like to see changed,” studio general manager Aaryn Flynn explained in a blog post. “We’re listening, and we’re committed to partnering with you as we continue to explore the Andromeda galaxy together.”

I feel like they’ve missed an obvious opportunity to replace characters’ legs with robotic peg-legs and all the in-game dialogue with “YARR!” in illegal copies of the game, though.