Inevitably, there’s a petition to cancel Far Cry 5

I mean, Far Cry 5 was always going to be a bit controversial. A game set in the US with white hillbilly religious zealots as the bad guys? That’s going to upset a lot of white hillbilly religious zealots, for starters. But there’s so much more to it than that, it turns out. Did you know gamers are already totally oppressed because of “the continued rejection of romantic partners when they find out our hobby” and “the appropriation of our culture” by fake gamers on social media?

Also, something about interracial relationships.

But it must be a joke. It has to be a joke. This petition by Gamers United is all over the place with its ideologies, complaining that the game vilifies “white people exclusively” but also, simultaneously, somehow embodies “multi-cultural bullshit” and is thus condemned to “[politically correct] hell”. Plus a random bonus claim that the developer is a “hypocrite feminist” in a context that makes zero sense, and not exactly ambiguous threats of actual, real “violent repurcussions [sic] if you intend to follow through with your pointless criticism”.

The petition suggests that Ubisoft change the game’s antagonists to “something more realistic” like muslims or “inner city gangs” (racist for “black people”). Or, ingeniously:

Have the villains simply be misguided patriots forced into making their own nation vs. the will of an oppressive over-government, construed of all the people they turn their wrath against in their immediate surroundings.  Their brutal physical and sexual violence towards their oppressors will then be explained as a reaction to harsh government policies and taxation, to show that both sides are wrong.

So, uh, I’m going with “definitely, probably, maybe a joke” or I’d have to make immediate plans to vacate this stupid planet, but the thing about satire – and if it’s satire, it’s not even very good satire – is that not everybody gets the joke. At press time, more than 200 people had signed the petition, and while some of them are obviously in it for the lolz, others… not so much.