… Does that even rhyme? I’d always assumed “bae” is pronounced like “babe” but without the second “b”. Now that I’ve typed it out, though, I dunno – what if it’s actually “bee” or “bye” or even “boo”, because that’s a thing people call each other, isn’t it? WHAT IF THE LETTERS ARE SILENT AND IT’S LIKE A METAPHOR BECAUSE LOVE IS EMPTY, NOTHING MATTERS, AND EVERYBODY DIES ALONE, ANYWAY – and I’m having some kind of existential crisis, and somebody bring me Zoo biscuits, and this is what Valentine’s Day is about.

Neon Chrome

Available on: Xbox One, PS4, PC, Switch

It’s a super addictive, retro-nostalgic cyberpunk twin-stick shooter with randomly generated levels, in which you must save the world from a cybernetic slum boss and die trying. Not or die trying. Because you’re going to die, leaving your significant other to finish on their own, and probably die trying. It’s like practice for the real thing.

Diablo 3

Available on*: Xbox 360, Xbox One, PS3, PS4

Almost six years since it launched, this one still maintains a prominent presence in every BEST LOCAL CO-OP GAMES EVER list, because it is. And if you missed the Rise of the Necromancer DLC in June, now’s the time to bring the game back from the dead. Get it? Because necromancers do that kind of stuff, lol. I know, I can’t believe somebody married me either.

The PC version of the game doesn’t support local co-op.

Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime

Available on: Xbox One, PS4, PC, Switch

So, you’re already lovers but what about surviving the unpredictable neon hazards of a dangerous spacetime? That’s a whole other thing, obviously, and involves lots of shooting bad guys and rescuing interstellar bunnies and you don’t even have to leave the house.

Gears of War

Available on*: Xbox One (Ultimate Edition, or original version via backwards compatible), Xbox 360

Every Gears of War game includes local split-screen campaign co-op, but the first one basically defined the third-person shooter genre at the time, and it’s a mandatory must-play. And not just because I met my husband playing Gears of War, and we even had a Gears of War cake at our wedding, and Gears of War is totally the most romantic game ever, but that too.

The PC version of the game doesn’t support local co-op.

Divinity: Original Sin

Available on: Xbox One, PS4, PC

For those of you who’ve moved out of “casual” and into “commitment” or even “codependency”, because so has this game. For extra authenticity, pick the “talks to animal” skill, and then passive-aggressively tell them things you secretly want to tell your partner. But out loud. I mean, it’s a role-playing game, so that’s how it works.


Available on: Xbox One, PC

Ooooor maybe not. Do you want to break up?


Available on: Xbox One, PS4, PC, Switch

Because if you want to break up, this one is also an option, and you can blame it on your partner’s egregious onion soup instead of the dysfunctional relationship they have with their mother. It’s much less awkward like that.


Available on: Xbox 360, PS4, PS3, PC

“You never take me anywhere nice.”

“How do you feel about a cave crammed with bats, snakes, ghosts, carnivorous plants, and anthropomorphic crocodiles with a thing for Egyptian novelties?”


Super Mega Baseball

Available on: Xbox One, PS4, PS3, PC

Okay, so it’s not “co-op” in the most prescriptive definition of the term, but you can play it on the couch and one out of two is 50% and that’s a pass. What’s not a pass, babe, was that lame-o pop from the outfield to second base, because I’m already on home and do you even sportsball.

Until Dawn

Available on: PS4

Also not a proper co-op game, but you can take turns trying to kill Emily and that counts too.