Remember, kids… Nintendon’t do drugs. Also, don’t buy home-printed Nintendo cartridges shipped out of The Netherlands. And if you do, be sure to crack a few open to make sure they’re legit. And if they’re not, and instead are packed to the brim with Peruvian fish scale and molly, then it’s best to dispose of them properly. Do not insert into console, to not crack open and consume, report directly to the authorities, or you’ll be off to the slammer.
You can ask the four people arrested in The Netherlands last week, they’ll tell you how bad drugs are, as they languish in prison, thinking about the life choices that led them to this point. These miscreants were picked up for 3D printing replica Nintendo cartridges and stuffing them with drugs – including cocaine, MDMA and LSD – for worldwide shipping. According to a report by De Telegraaf, three were arrested in a home in Amsterdam, while a fourth person was caught in the town of Werkendam, in a shed full of 3D printers churning out the rip-off Nintendo cartridges, as well as ink cartridges for the same purpose.
And suddenly there’s a new reason why your games might taste bitter. Also, you can make up your own joke about Mario chasing mushrooms.