Microsoft is updating its code of conduct to introduce real consequences for those people who can’t play nicely with others, with account suspensions and even permanent bans from the Xbox Live service with no pudding now an actual prospect for breaking the rules.

From 1 May 2018, according to Microsoft, people busted for sharing “inappropriate content” including “nudity, bestiality, pornography, offensive language, graphic violence, or criminal activity” or other prohibited behaviour like “asking for money under false pretences, impersonating someone else, manipulating the Services to increase play count, or affect rankings, ratings, or comments” will be subject to review and a potential suspension or ban, also forfeiting “content licenses, Xbox Gold Membership time, and Microsoft account balances associated with the account”, in case anybody thinks an account ban is, like, no big deal lol.

The current code of conduct explains that Microsoft “cannot monitor the entire Services and make no attempt to do so”, relying instead on user to narc on each other like it’s primary school. And maybe if people didn’t behave like bratty preteens on the internet, we wouldn’t have to – but until we’ve transcended such dizzying utopian levels of virtue and class and basic courtesy, this seems appropriate enough.