Is virtual reality the next big thing? It wasn’t in 1995 when Nintendo launched the Virtual Boy, and now, more than 20 years later, I’m not entirely convinced it’s ever going to be for the same reason – vomit. Fun fake gamer fact about me – I didn’t much get into 3D games until about 2005 because I got such bad motion sickness playing them. I didn’t even play the original Doom because HUUUUUUUUUUURGH. Although I’m okay with most games these days, I’m still susceptible to the occasional queasiness with this or that, especially in games with zero gravity, vertical transitions, big jumps, camera movement, colours, buttons, menus, and actually, I’m not okay with a lot of games. So when next-gen VR got here, I was, like, nah. If I want to pretend I’m getting sucked into a black hole or whatever on the weekends, I’ll buy some whiskey instead.

So anyway, I got a PSVR.

It wasn’t my idea, obviously. Michael decided to send me one, an assignment I acknowledged with a mix of dread and… no, mostly dread. And not just because of the inevitable disgorging of lunch, but because there’s a lot of setup involved, and this is the, um, situation behind the TV cabinet.

I don’t even know what that one plug is for.

And I do mean a lot of setup. I got a big box crammed with cables and cables and cables and other stuff, including, for some reason, somebody’s grotty old tee, a packet of Knorr soup, and half a bag of rusks. Not even half.

Your mom’s a noob.

Uh, thanks?

Also, some games and – oooooh, what’s this one? A sci-fi FPS probably featuring zero gravity, vertical transitions, big jumps, camera movement, colours, buttons, and menus?

My job is so hard sometimes.

I quit.

I gotta tell you, though. The opening sequence of this game is phenomenal. I’m in a space shuttle, getting sucked into some kind of black hole (I know, the universe hates me), and it’s like I’m in a space shuttle, getting sucked into some kind of black hole but for realsies and oh shit I’m gonna vo-


STAY TUNED FOR MORE.

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