Dragging petty legal process to a dizzying new low, Bethesda has attempted to block the sale of an unopened copy of The Evil Within 2 for PS4 on the Amazon Marketplace because it’s described as “new”.

Philadelphia resident Ryan Hupp was apparently sent a notice from the publisher’s law firm Vorys, insisting that he remove the listing or consequences would never be the same. According to a report over on Polygon, the problem is that Hupp isn’t an “authorised reseller”, and so isn’t allowed to sell games marketed as “new”. Even if they’re actually new. Because mom said so, and I’m telling on.

“Unless you remove all Bethesda products, from your storefront, stop selling any and all Bethesda products immediately and identify all sources of Bethesda products you are selling, we intend to file a lawsuit against you,” the letter cautions, adding that non-compliance would result in “disgorgement of profits, compensatory damages, attorneys’ fees and investigative and other costs” that wouldn’t even exist if Bethesda weren’t so pedantic about words.

“In this case, if the game had been listed as ‘Pre-Owned,’ this would not have been an issue,” a company rep explains in a statement, like that isn’t already obvious coming from a private seller on the Amazon Marketplace.

Totally owning that retainer, guys.