Those people wishing for something more engaging than synchronised swimming, equestrian dressage, or that thing with the brooms at the next Olympic Games can keep wishing, apparently, because “promoting violence or discrimination” is “contradictory to the Olympic values and cannot therefore be accepted”, even though most Olympic events are based in some sort of martial occupation and separated by gender.

“We cannot have in the Olympic program a game which is promoting violence or discrimination,” IOC president Thomas Bach told The Associated Press at the Asian Games – which includes an esports schedule – over the weekend. “So-called killer games. They, from our point of view, are contradictory to the Olympic values and cannot therefore be accepted.”

Bach has previously won an Olympic medal for sword duels fencing, but… that’s different.

“Of course every combat sport has its origins in a real fight among people,” he explained. “But sport is the civilised expression about this. If you have egames where it’s about killing somebody, this cannot be brought into line with our Olympic values.”

Egames, you guys.

Also, according to his Wikipedia page, Bach has been criticised for supporting the 2015 European Games in Azerbaijan – a country which imprisons political dissenters without trial, has no freedom of press, and whose government is accused of endemic corruption  – and for ignoring Russian state-sponsored doping scandals by reinstating its Olympic committee following, who could ever have guessed it, a state-sponsored doping scandal at the 2018 Winter Olympics. But remember kids, that’s different.