Five years, a hundred years, same thing when it’s something I’ve been waiting for. But my time of anguish is almost at an end, you guys, because the office closes for the holidays next week, and I can almost smell the martinis. Also, Super Time Force and Superbrothers: Sword and Sworcery EP studio Capybara Games has confirmed that its gloomcore survive-’em-up is prepped for launch on PC and Xbox One.

First announced at E3 in 2013, the indie roguelike has been subject to multiple delays and even postponed indefinitely in 2016, but now – it’s a Christmas miracle! – it’s out on 14 December. The same day I finish work. This is destiny at work, obviously.

Described as a “procedural terrarium filled with life, mystery and death”, Below features a masochistic mix of super-hard-everything and permadeath with randomly-generated levels and an unconventional, tilt-shifted aesthetic.

“What lies below? Only the bravest wanderers will find out,” the game’s Steam blurb explains. “The Depths are filled with secrets and danger. Below embraces the idea that players enjoy discovering secret areas, finding hidden passageways and unravelling the deepest mysteries hidden in the in the darkness.”

Oooooh.

So that’s one million…

Nine-hundred thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine…

Nine-hundred thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-eight years to go.

I shall endure.