The new Stranger Things season three teaser reveals episode names, not much else

… Or does it? Because those episode names are probably important and I can tell you this – I wouldn’t go shopping at the Starcourt Mall, even if it was a neon hi-top emergency.

The second teaser for the show promises a “summer of 1985” in which the town of Hawkins, Indiana is presumably subject to yet another inter-dimensional predicament that can only be solved by kids. In the meantime, though, here’s what else to expect.

The episode list for those of you who were too hypnotised by the music to keep count:

  • Suzie, Do You Copy?
  • The Mall Rats
  • The Case of the Missing Lifeguard
  • The Sauna Test
  • The Source
  • The Birthday
  • The Bite
  • The Battle of Starcourt

Who’s Suzie? Dunno, but she’s probably got one of Will’s walkie-talkies, so I guess she’s a new kid. Maybe Maya Hawke, confirmed to feature as “alternative girl” Robin, according to Variety, who uncovers a “dark secret”? Maybe.

Referencing the show’s first teaser, episodes The Mall Rats and The Battle of Starcourt would suggest that… something is festering down there and it’s not just last week’s leftovers in the Hotdog-On-A-Stick deep-fryer.

Netflix comedy Haters Back Off star Francesca Reale joins the cast for season three as Heather, “a popular lifeguard at the Hawkins community pool”, also via Variety, so she’s almost definitely got something to do with The Case of the Missing Lifeguard. But besides The Birthday – which is obviously about, you know, a birthday – the other episode names are much more inscrutable. The Sauna Test? The Source? The Bite? INTRIGUING.

It’s out in 2019.

LOL SO RANDOM
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