Scientists have made zombie pigs, and this is how everything ends

Prompting inevitable questions about ethics, responsible budget spending, and wasn’t bacon good enough, researchers at Yale University have managed to partially revive the brains of 32 dead pigs in a lab experiment that will be remembered as humanity’s worst mistake if anybody actually survives the zombie apigalypse.

The team pumped the decapitated heads with a unique anti-coagulant and oxygenating solution that definitely, probably isn’t now being used in some secret military bioweapons program, and were able to restore basic cellular functions to the specimens, including blood circulation, metabolism, and even synaptic responses.

“It was mind-blowing. My initial reaction was pretty shocked. It’s a groundbreaking discovery, but it also really fundamentally changes a lot of what the existing beliefs are in neuroscience about the irreversible loss of brain function once there is deprivation of oxygen to the brain,” Duke Law School academic Nita Farahany tells NPR.

“Immediately people are going to recognise the potential of this research. If, in fact, it is possible to restore cellular activity to brain tissue that we thought was irreversibly lost in the past, of course people are going to want to apply this eventually in humans.”

I mean, obviously. How else are we going to beat the zombie pigs? WITH ZOMBIE PEOPLE.

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