Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, The Witcher, and His Dark Materials amongst new fantasy TV series

Fill that Game of Thrones void with these upcoming fantasy series

The Game of Thrones finale has left an epic fantasy entertainment vacuum that many upcoming series are hoping to cash in on fill. Do not reach for The Shannara Chronicles yet, dear wanderer, there’s hope on the horizon.

Here are just some of your options, in order of expected release…

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The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance (30 August)

Prequel to 1982’s classic nightmare fuel, The Dark Crystal, Netflix’s Age of Resistance takes place many years before the events of the movie, following three Gelfling heroes on a quest to spark rebellion against the sinister Skeksis. It’s all puppets, no CGI. Get into it.

If there were boobs, they’d be puppet boobs, are you into that? No judging. The voice cast includes Taron Egerton, Anya Taylor-Joy, Nathalie Emmanuel, Simon Pegg, Eddie Izzard, Andy Samburg, Mark Hamill, Helena Bonham Carter; you get it.

His Dark Materials (later this year)

This BBC One/HBO adaptation of the award-winning novel trilogy by Philip Pullman will hopefully fare better than the Golden Compass did, back in 2007. Seems like the first season is following the plot of Northern Lights which follows a preteen girl’s adventures in a world where everyone’s soul exists outside of their body as an animal spirit, known as a daemon. There’s also parallel universes, dodgy religions, kidnapping, torture, and sentient, armoured bears. What more do you want?

The boob count will be significantly lower, like non-existent, but there will be all sorts of CG animals to squee over. The cast includes Dafne Keen, Ruth Wilson, James McAvoy, and Lin-Manuel Miranda.

The Witcher (later this year)

You’ve probably heard about Netflix’s Witcher adaptation by now, and it’s based on the Polish novels by Andrzej Sapkowski rather than the series of CD Projekt Red games. There aren’t many details about the plot, but it will follow monster hunter Geralt of Rivia, and his adventures in a world where the people are usually worse than the creatures he’s tasked with hunting. Familiar characters will include Ciri, Yennefer, Triss, and Roach.

There will probably be more boobs than you can handle, like, so many boobs. The cast includes Henry Cavill, Freya Allan, Anya Chalotra, and Anna Shaffer.

Geralt is played by Henry Cavill in the Witcher TV series

Game of Thrones prequel series (2020/2021)

Hair of the dog what bit you, the Game of Thrones prequel series takes place about 5000 years before the events we all just got done watching, at the end of the Age of Heroes. It will apparently include more about the origins of the White Walkers and the Night King, some legendary Starks, like Bran the Builder, and their history with the Lannisters, but no dragons (sorry).

Should contain at least as many boobs as the original. The cast includes Naomi Watts, Miranda Richardson, Marquis Rodriquez, and Georgie Henley.

Game of Thrones prequel series will include the Night King

The Lord of the Rings prequel series (2021)

This supposedly five-season Amazon series will take place on Middle-earth, before all of the Peter Jackson movies, in an era known as the Second Age. They’re being super secretive about the plot, but this is the age in which the rings of power were forged and distributed by the Dark Lord Sauron, and will include some of the characters from the movies; I would imagine the ones with more longevity, like the elves and wizards.

Minimal potential for boobs, but probably 100% more elves. No cast members have been announced, as yet.

Lord of the Rings prequel series takes place in the Second Age.

The Wheel of Time (TBC)

Another Amazon fantasy series based on the beloved books by Robert Jordan (completed by Brandon Sanderson), the Wheel of Time will follow Moraine, member of the shadowy Aes Sedai, and her epic journey across the world with a group of people, one of which might be the reincarnation of a powerful individual who will either save or destroy humanity. The Wheel of Time had to be completed by Sanderson after Jordan passed away before he could finish it. Beloved epic fantasy series left incomplete? Reminds me of something…

If there are boobs, they’re likely to be more empowered than you’re used to. No cast members have been announced, as yet.

Wheel of Time TV series coming to Amazon

The Kingkiller Chronicles (TBC)

This series will be a prequel to the events that take place in the award-winning Kingkiller Chronicle novel series by Patrick Rothfuss, as a series of films covering that story are also in development. This means it will potentially follow Laurian and Arliden, the parents of legendary hero Kvothe, and their band of travelling performers, in a world of magic, monsters, and music. Songs and storytelling are central to the books, with Lin-Manuel Miranda helming the music department for the TV series and films.

Boob count difficult to predict, but there should a pretty decent soundtrack and magic system. Bonus points for similarity; we’re still waiting for the last book. Bonus, bonus points; Nightwish wrote a song inspired by the characters. No cast members have been announced, as yet.

Kingkiller Chronicles series is a prequel to the books

LOL SO RANDOM
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