Area 51

One million people have joined a Facebook event to bust into Area 51 and “see them aliens”

It started as a joke, but with one million people now “going” and almost 900,000 “interested”, it’s probably safe to assume some of them think it’s for reals, because this is the internet and satire doesn’t necessarily work as intended.

Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us proposes that “if we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets [sic]” and breach the US Air Force’s top secret Nevada base, which conspiracy theorists allege is actually a blacksite facility for extraterrestrial tech research. Because obviously lights in the sky above a US Air Force base are alien spaceships. That’s SCIENCE, Karen.

Although Area 51’s reputation for questionable ops is not exactly news, the recent appearance of professional kook and much less professional physicist Bob Lazar on Joe Rogan’s podcast, whose “documentary” film Bob Lazar: Area 51 & Flying Saucers launched in 2018, was almost definitely a factor in this new stupidity. Lazar, who claims to have degrees from MIT and Caltech despite no academic records of his ever being a student at either institution, has also claimed to have been employed at Area 51 as part of a project to reverse-engineer UFOs – and it was his 1989 interview with investigative reporter George Knapp on Las Vegas local TV station KLAS that originally introduced the location into pop culture, which until then was classified.

The CIA has since publicly confirmed the existence of Area 51 in compliance with a Freedom of Information Act request in 2013, but its purposes remain a matter of speculation among the sort of people who don’t want to believe that a US Air Force base is used to train US Air Force pilots or build US Air Force jets. Or, perhaps, that a US Air Force base would respond to a civilian incursion with appropriate opposition.

“[Area 51] is an open training range for the US Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces,” branch rep Laura McAndrews told The Washington Post this weekend. “The US Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.”

The event is scheduled for 20 September, at which time the forces of natural selection will take over.


Valve is probably (maybe) revealing a new Half-Life game next month, buuuuut…