A chanting of pata-pata-pata-pon can be heard in the distance.
“It can’t be my ancient earworm coming back for revenge, could it?”
Chika-chika-pata-pon can now also be heard, but closer.
“No. NO, LEAVE ME ALONE!”
You hear a sudden yell of pon-pon-pata-pon as spears and arrows fly past you. You see the Yaripons, Tatepons, Yumipons – and don’t forget ye olde flag bearer Hatapon struggling to keep up. Welcome back to Patapon 2.
Since I’ve started playing Patapon 2 Remastered, I’ve been absent mindedly either humming, singing and the newest edition, drumming the beat with my fingertips in meetings. Even my roommate, who can hear my pataponning from my room, has been caught singing it while cooking. I must admit there’s no other bond that quite describes breaking out in neanderthal like song in the middle of a kitchen.
Okay. Let’s get down to business, enough ponning around. Patapon 2 was originally released way back in 2008 on the good ol’ PSP. I was more of a Nintendo gal, so I never actually played any of the Patapons up until Patapon 2 Remastered launched on the PS4. Patapon is a rhythm-based game where you’re tasked to help these black eyeball goblin creatures named patapons hunt and gather supplies. Because on their way to discover a place named Earthend, their pataship patasank and now they’re patastranded.
You are the god of the eyeball goblins and your job is to send them out on missions to finally reach Earthend and find “IT”. What this “IT” is no one knows, but you’ll have to fight enemies and kill some crabs for iron ore to find out! Along the way you’ll learn different songs to tell your patapons to play on your PS4 controller buttons, and every little beat counts. This isn’t a game to play while you’re busy half texting your girlfriend or with one hand in the chips bag – miss a beat and it’ll cost you your life. Or, more like, you’ll have one less eyeball with a spear to fight with.
To make more patapons to add to your ponsquad, you’ll have to hunt for supplies or play some of the rhythm based mini-games to gather enough to make more and level them up. The longer I played and the more supplies I gathered, the more and more the game had become quite substantial in the chaos it was presenting to me on a silver pataplatter. It had gone from a happy-go-lucky “oooooh, look my Yaripon has rabbit ears on level two, how adorable!” to “ah, yes yes, this demonic spear has an additional 3% damage resistance and sets fire to bushes thus my attack will be ruthless and unforgiving”.
In the game, during your missions and supply grinding, you’ll come across numerous enemies that are after your patasoul. Here lies your chance to be super strategic in which groups of patapons you send out to attack the Karmen with. Is the wind blowing? Better choose melee attacks as wind affects your arrows. Arrows are only good for hunting because the wind will carry your patascent to your prey, duh. Is it storming? Better take off your tinfoil hat and strap on your lightning resistant helmet, lightning is dangerous man. Killing the Karrrrrmen will also drop some new spears, helmets and bows, and other items to aid your ponsquad’s travels to Earthend.
Patapon 2 has proven that a “simple” rhythm game wrapped in gloriously strange Japanese designs and quirks can be abundantly in-depth with actual strategic gameplay. It will keep your eyes, brain, and ears busy in its patajourney to patadise. No pons intended.
Addictive as hell
Well thought-out gameplay dynamics
Cute as fuck
Addictive as hell
MANUAL SAVES AND NO AUTO-SAVE? IN 2020?! I LOST FOUR HOURS OF GAME, THANKS ESKOM!
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