A lot of Baldur’s Gate 3 players have died “interrupting the intimate moments” of ogres and bug bears

Maybe the real problem, though, is that Totally Generic White Bro isn’t much of a prospect for an inter-species kink party? I dunno, but I’d expect there’s a minimum size requirement for kind of event, and it’s not what you think.

Baldur’s Gate 3 developer Larian Studios has been evaluating player death statistics since the game launched into early access last week, and the results are… intriguing. Besides “exactly 4000” awkwardly failed attempts at a spontaneous ménage à trois with Faerûn’s hardcore furries, a significant number of players have been killed by Gale, a wizard introduced near the start of the game. Players can recruit him, but for whatever reason, some are choosing not to.

“This is a traditionally non-combat encounter, but of course in Baldur’s Gate 3 players can enter into combat with whomever they wish, at almost any moment,” Larian explains. “This suggests that players are actively engaging in combat with Gale. Is it something he said?”

Some of the other data:

  • Shadowheart is the only companion to die more than the player character; poor Shadowheart.
  • The Owlbear Cub has killed 5717 players.
  • If you died at the crash site in your encounter with the fallen Mind Flayer, don’t fret, you’re with 3753 others.

The first update for the game was also deployed last night, with a list of fixes and improvements, and subsequently reverted because it broke some player’s save games. Remember, kids – this is what early access is about.

LOL SO RANDOM
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